My Girls

I sit quietly on my patio and ponder.....

My life is very strange.

I begin to say a prayer for my wife who is away on business in Milwaukee, then I segway into a prayer for my new daughter who is in China, and then I finish up with a prayer of thanks for the life of my other daughter who resides in heaven.

I am in Kentucky and my girls are in Milwaukee, China, and Heaven.

My life is very strange.

This is not how I would have pictured my life to look like ten years ago. My family spread out across the universe and me sitting on a patio reading a golf magazine....weird. It is actually so strange that one needs to chuckle a little....in fact we can move that emotion into outright laughter. If we aren't able to smile at the curve balls that life throws at us then we will never truly gain happiness.

We all carry ideas of how our lives are supposed to look and as we move through our years it is hard to watch as our plans get rearranged and turned around. When we are young the world seems so large and the possibilities are endless. People ask you what kind of life you want to live and you fill the answer with grand pictures of success, children, perfect spouses, large homes, fast cars, powerful jobs, and numerous other "dreams". We head out from our adolescent lives and begin to work towards what we are certain will be a life filled with all of the "fruits" that life has to offer. It seems like it should come easy since every time we turn on the TV it is evident that the rest of America seems to be living the life we want to have....our turn will surely come.

Then things start to happen that we didn't expect. That perfect spouse doesn't materialize when they are supposed to, jobs don't pay enough, children come to soon or not at all, illness grabs ahold of you, addiction rears its ugly head, and that large home seems so far away. We start to get bogged down in the quick sand of life and yet we push on determined to accomplish all of the goals that were set when we were young. We begin to pull out the credit cards, settle for loans that bite us later on, chase jobs in search of satisfaction, and desperately grab onto partners that may not make us happy but will provide the mirror of a satisfied life. We judge our happiness on whether or not we meet the levels of success set by the media and those in the entertainment industry. We begin to move faster and faster hoping to beat the ticking clock which is our inevitable death.....days begin to blur.....years accelerate.....we must gain the goals that were set....our life flies by.

Somebody take a breath......please......just pause for one second.

I don't know much but I have learned one important lesson in this crazy life called "Todd". It is that God will provide what you need when you need it. This fascination with living the life that is falsely depicted on our TV screens will ultimately destroy you if allowed. In the pause of a moment look at what is around you and who has been provided for your journey through this short stay on Earth. It is very easy to get so caught up in the marathon of greed that we miss opportunities to interact with those around us. It is not hard to get buried by the weight of grief and not be able to see those who are offering hands of assistance. When the chasing of what we want overshadows the granting of what we need than it is time to re-evaluate.

I always wanted to be successful, have a wonderful wife, two children, and a house in the suburbs.

I work for God, have an unbelievable wife away on business in Milwaukee, a new 5 mos old child in China, an angel of a daughter in Heaven, and I sit on my patio in a suburb of Cincinnati.

God does give you what you need......it just may not be how you thought it would look. Get out of your tunnel vision.....your goals are closer than you think.

I sit quietly on my patio and chuckle.....life is strange.....

Good night Milwaukee, good night China, good night Heaven.

Sleep tight girls.