Moments

There are very few moments in life that will define who and what we are. Most of our time is spent just trying to get from one great moment to the next. We have one good day and then spend the rest of our life trying to recreate that moment. There are moments of happiness and unfortunately those moments of joy are joined with moments of despair....that is life.

We are alive and therefore we must live.

For the moment......because the next moment may be our last.

Moments.

Each day we wake up and look at our reflections. The person staring back at us carries the weight of our decisions and tends to hide the tension behind a mask of frailty. We tell ourselves that we will not make the same mistakes as the day before and open the door determined to leave the moments of the past behind. The door closes and we are thrust into the world, like a skydiver we hope that we've packed our parachute correctly, for we know that a moment is coming in which we are going to need it. We know this because our minds don't let us forget the last time we needed to pull the cord and float to safety.

Why can't we forget the moments?

We all have them. Those experiences in which we either did or said something that was wrong and hurtful. They can range from the trivial side comment to that tragic decision that sent our lives spiraling out of control. They cause us so much pain that we try desperately to bury them in our subconscious only letting them out when something triggers the memory. These moments in our lives control our actions, limit our decision making, shape our thoughts, and dictate our relationships. That one day, that brief conversation, that quick decision....that moment....it makes us who we are.

Moments.

People will tell you that the appropriate way to get your life back is to turn these moments over to God. They will tell you that all one needs to do is say a serious prayer and ask for the pain to be taken from you. They will quote scripture and point out that true Christians give their troubles to God and then are able to lead a life free of pain.

The problem is that our brains tend to not believe in what we cannot see. How many times have you tried to rid your life of those moments? The prayer is said and you head out into the world convinced that your life will be different and then it happens........

The moment starts to creep back in. It starts out in a subtle manner, like the beginning of a migraine. The thoughts start entering your mind again, the video spools up and the pictures begin to flash, the sounds and smells gently swing back into place. You shake your head and try to get rid of the cancer, but the moment is too strong.

So you give up. The moment has won and you wonder whether God actually heard your prayer. We try to rationalize our pain as being given to us by God in order to remind us of the mistakes we have made. We have sinned and our personal hell has been set. These moments will never leave and we better get used to them.

I refuse. I don't want to get used to it. I don't want my pain staring at me in the face each day. I lived long enough with those thoughts and it is time for them to leave. This personal hell has grown old and I want out. I want someone to answer my prayers!

I want some new moments.

The problem does not lie in the arms of God, and the issue is not whether or not God has heard our prayers. The problem lies within our hearts. The issue is about whether or not we have the capacity to believe that God would actually forgive our darkest sins.

It doesn't make sense that one could go out and sin to the degrees that all of us do and then have those sins erased with a simple prayer. That isn't how we live down here on earth and we can't readily wrap our arms around the idea that God would do that for us. Even though we ask for forgiveness we don't truly believe that our sins are erased.....so we hang on to them. We try to give them away but then put them back in our pockets at the last minute. These moments which have shaped our lives have become a crutch and we need them to hold us up.

Want to know a secret?

God has already wiped the slate clean. He heard the prayer and like the loving Father that He is...He forgave us. There was no dramatic entrance, no clap of thunder, no flickering of the lights, and no great speech. He just forgave us...no questions asked. That is the beauty of our relationship with God. It is a parental set up in which mistakes are made, admissions noted, corrections started, and do-overs are allowed. He is a loving God who will do whatever needs to be done to help and support. We just have to believe.

Do not underestimate the gift of Jesus Christ and the present that was given to us on the cross. When it is said that Jesus Christ was sent to die for our sins.....believe it. He was sent to die for you and that is a gift that just keeps on giving.

Have faith my friends. Give those moments of pain to God and do so with the knowledge that He has taken them from you.

Let go of the moments so you can live for the moment.

Amen.