Would you buy back the past?

What if you were given the opportunity to buy one thing which would change your life forever?

What would it be?

I posed this question to a christian discussion group that I lead and was surprised at the inability of most to answer the question quickly. There was a lot of thought and I could tell that this was a question which did not have an easy conclusion. Then one of the women spoke:

"Can I buy back my past?"

I have to be honest that when I was preparing for the class this was not one of the answers which I was prepared to deal with. It sucked the breath out of me actually. Then I started to really think.....what if you could buy back your past.....how far back would you go? Is there a specific moment that pops up in your mind? Is there a period of time that you look back at and wish that you could do over again? If you could buy back that moment.....would you?

It is a fascinating question. We are all living our lives today based on decisions that we made years, months, days, hours and even seconds ago. Every step that I take sets the course for what the next step will be.

Every step that you take sets the course for what the next step will be.

I can think of various moments in my life that I would love to go back and re-do. I would have played football longer, not backed down to Kara Gleason, called Kevin Fann one last time, wrote more letters to MiMi and Pop T, and I am pretty sure that I would have actually kissed my Jr. Prom date. Those things I listed are child's play to some of the life changing events that I know some of you have. I am sure that you can pick exact moments or maybe even a specific moment in which your life took a new direction. Whether it be that first drink, first cigarette, first drug, first sexual experience, first time being hit, first time making yourself throw-up, first time cutting...and that is just scratching at the surface.

It would be nice to be able to "Buy Back" those moments that cause us great pain. Those moments that we don't tell anyone about because if they knew......well..... let's not even think about that.

So would you? If given the opportunity to buy back your past.....could you hand over the money?

Before you say yes.....think about this.

Where would you be? I can say with good certainty that you would not be sitting at your computer right now. I wonder if you would have those beautiful children, those great friends, that person who you helped the other day would never have met you......the list goes on. We like to think that if we could just go back and change the bad things in our life than we would be happier in our present time. We tend to forget important aspects to this whole process.

There is a constant threat of pain. The bad things of life will continue to happen. Love hurts.

We may want to change a certain piece of our past but that does not prevent life from hitting us with other types of pain and suffering. That is the eternal mystery of life: "Why do bad things happen?"

The reality is that as long as the human race has the power of choice then bad things will continue to happen. That means if you changed the direction of your life from one path and put it on another......there is still going to be pain. We will always have to deal with that aspect of life and the sooner we realize that the better off we will be.

I propose we look at this in another manner. God gave you a life that is filled with the power to choose. We make choices every day and some of them are good and some of them are bad. Those bad choices may lead to some very painful experiences, but don't forget to look for the good in everything. We are given the ability to make choices with the knowledge that God loves us no matter which way we go. That means when you are overloaded with grief due to a decision that you made.....God cries with you. When you look back at that pivotal moment and just want to scream.....God yells with you. When you sit at night and listen to the heat kick on and off because the sound is comforting.....God is right next to you. The choice may have been bad but we have a God with a short memory so shouldn't we practice that same talent?

One more thing. God has given us the power of choice. That means that we are able to take any bad situation and choose to make it a positive. Those drug years? Make them the catalyst of a life full of passion and energy. That first drink? Make it the reason why you desire to help people with the same affliction. Those children that maybe came a little earlier than expected? Make sure that they take the world by storm. The years of anorexia or overeating? Take the pain by the horns and make sure that others know that survival is possible.

Make your bad choices in life the ones that change the world. Parents always tell their children to learn from their mistakes. Let us all take it a little further and try to have others learn from our missteps. Each step we take (even the bad ones) sets the course for the next step we take.

The bottom line is that we can't go back and change our actions from the past. God gave us this life and maybe......just maybe......by living today we can turn the pain we suffered yesterday into the joy we experience tomorrow.

Make the choice.