When love is lost...God is found

It's dark.

There was a time when someone told you that being afraid of the dark was normal so you are okay with the darkness, but it is still dark. If someone asked you when the darkness started you would be hard pressed to give them an accurate answer. There were some specific moments leading up to the darkness, but the exact time when the lights went out is still up in the air. It is an odd feeling living a life without color, but it has been going on so long that you have just chalked it up as the life you were given. Every now and then you try to add some light to this existence, but the glow is as fleeting as a match. People have given all kinds of advice and they all sound great in theory, but the darkness is a powerful entity, which doesn't want to let go. What people don't understand is that in your life the only constant has been the darkness...friends have come and gone, jobs have been discovered and lost, hobbies started and left unfinished...but the darkness has always been there. It is a loyal companion that is there when you wake up and when you attempt to close your eyes at the end of the day. It has become.... dare I say.... your friend.

Life without color is a life absent of one of the most important emotions known to humankind.

Love.

There are all types and many different levels. There is physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, and that just names a few. The problem with love is that we simply don't know how to handle it. It is such a potent feeling that we sometimes feel like a five year old learning how to ride a bike, we just keep falling. It is one of the few words in our language that if uttered can turn lives upside down or right side up. It is one of the few words that if not uttered can ruin a life forever. If the right person says it to you.... the world becomes a colorful playground that has endless possibilities. If the right person denies you that emotion then a cloud that is darker than any storm envelops your life.

There are so many of us out there that have been denied this basic human emotion by parents, spouses, children, co-workers, teammates, boyfriends, girlfriends, fiancés...the list goes on. When love is denied we unconsciously start looking for other things that we can attach to. The next thing we know the bottle in our hands becomes a source of affection, the needle sliding into our arm fills us with a needed euphoria, the sight of our weight sliding into double digits fills us with hope, and the bed we lie in becomes a safe place to shut out the world from.

The problem with the above reactions is that they all produce artificial love. This is a type of love that doesn't come with the same benefits of true love. There is no energy and the colors of the world fail to appear. A veil of darkness is quickly dropped over the receiver's life and soon they retreat into an artificial world run by an artificial love.

I know the sadness one can feel when it seems as if life has dealt you a deck full of jokers. We all starve for love and some of us are lucky enough to have an abundance of it and then there are others who have given up hope.

If you are living a life of darkness or if any of you find yourself not being able to see your own hand in front of your face...please listen.

There is one individual who never runs, never takes a break, never decides that His love has run out, and above all is present in all aspects of your life. He sits in that dark room with you, He holds you while the tears run down your face, He attempts to remove the bottle from your grip, He hurts when the scale continues to drop, He winces when the needle pierces your skin, and He tries heartily to get you out of the bed each morning. He is always there.

We all want and need to hear the words "I love you". It is a natural human condition and we need those words in order to reach our fullest potential. It is a true statement that we may go through times in our lives where we feel as if "Love" has left us and that our life is helpless. In those dark times I urge you to take a moment and just listen. In amongst those feelings of despair I guarantee that you will hear the words you long for:

"I love you."

The world might be dark, but with those three simple words God can turn your life back to a world of color and light.

All we have to do is listen.