Perfection is overrated.

The day it all began

2009-08-31T19:56:00.000-07:00

May 31st, 1974:

This is the day that I was born. I was born in St. Mary's hospital just outside the campus of Washington University - St. Louis and the apartment where I would spend my first 6 months of life sat directly across the street from the hospital ... my parents liked to plan ahead.

I remember nothing about this day .... I was given a name that would identify me within all facets of my life. I always find it a little strange that the one title that is probably the most important identifying feature that all of us have .... is given to us with absolutely no regard to our own personal decision. This is how you end up with names like "Billy Bob Sue", "Stevie Stephens", and my personal favorite "Harry Richard" ( think about that one for a minute). There are people all over this world walking around swearing their parents name under their breath as they deal with the scars of having been called to the principals office over the loud speaker in high school:

"Will Ben Dover please report to the principals office".......(seriously,his parents should be put in jail).

So back to May 31st, 1974.

When you are born there is this expectation that you are going to great things and this burden is immediately bestowed upon you by your parents. They look at you and are instantly determined to not make the same mistakes that they feel their parents made with them. Your life is instantly determined based on the actions of your grandparents ..... the very people who you will adore as you grow up are the same people who set the foundation for all of the things that will ---- you up down the line.

Life is vicious in that regard. We are constantly correcting for the mistakes of those that came before us. We feel that in order for life to get better we must shake off the rust of our previous upbringing and give our children the perfect life.

Why is that? What is it about the past that makes all of us want to try and change the future.

What do you think? What is the one thing that would make the biggest difference in your life if we could change one thing your parents taught you?

Tell me your thoughts.

Ordinary

2009-08-25T20:35:00.000-07:00

I am back.

I have decided that life is much more interesting when you remove the false label of "minister". There is a binding force that occurs when one lines themselves behind the institution that is the church. There are things that cannot be said, opportunities that cannot be explored, topics that cannot be broached.

At age 35, I believe that I have discovered a secret that many of us should embrace:

I'm ordinary.

I am a father, a husband, a co-worker, a son, a brother, a nephew, an uncle, and a grandson. I get up each morning, put my legs into a pair of pants, grab a cup of Dunkin, and spend 45 minutes listening to sports radio while staring at the licence plates of my other ordinary counterparts.

I did not dream of this life, nor did I reach out and try to give it back. I chose this life and in between waking up and going to sleep I have determined that there isn't a whole lot that I can do to change that.

So tonight I begin a new literary journey. I am going to write about what life is like for a 35 year old father and what types of hurdles one most jump through to keep moving everything along.

We'll start tomorrow......

The Season of Possibility

2008-01-02T07:43:00.000-08:00

Hello!

I was sitting on my living room floor, the fire was gently crackling (I like to think that gas fireplaces crackle), the glow of the Christmas lights shined on the walls, and the clock on the wall stated "1am".

I was 1 hour into 2008.........nothing had really changed yet..........but I know that things will...........they always do. I know that we have absolutely no chance of predicting those things which will be different, but here is my list of ten things I would love to see happen in 2008.

______________________________________________________________

10. I would like people to start looking past the surface when dealing with others. We have grown into such a "label" world that it is hard to truly get to know someone because of the immediate desire to classify by outward appearance.

9. I want to see school systems and parents to not be so quick to medicate based on poor performance or perceived lack of attention. There tends to be a lot more going on than meets the eye.....find the key to the child's mind and all will begin to flow.

8. I want politicians to look me in the eye and speak without rhetoric. I want honesty and an individual that I can get behind.......there is to much at stake to just hand the job to the person with the most money.

7. I want to begin to see an assurance that when my daughter reaches adult hood that the opportunities afforded to me will still be available. There seems to be an increasing gap between rich and poor.......the country is polarizing itself........we sometimes forget that we are basically the same.........money or no money..........you are still human.

6. I would love to have at least one person hold the door and smile at me when I have an arm full of bags and a 1 yr old hanging off my shoulders. It isn't hard......we have to remember to look around and see who is in need of a little help.

5. I worry about teenagers today. Not because of the things that they do....but because of the pressures that the adult world puts on them. I am tired of seeing stressed out youth who have forgotten that this life is supposed to be fun......give them a break every now and then.

4. I would like to see the world take a deep breath and relax for a minute. We all need to stop being reactionary and allow for all of the pieces to fall into place. We keep throwing the puzzle on the floor before we have a chance to complete it.

3. There are people who walk this earth who are inherently bad.......we need to stop the idolizing of such individuals. There are people who walk this earth who are inherently good......we need to promote those individuals.

2. There are children dying all over this world.........we should stop this..........now.

1. The world has forgotten that God created all of this. We try so hard to position ourselves on the "right" side of the line.......that we forget that there is a very real possibility that God may have a bigger plan than we can even imagine. We need to stop the limiting of life and reach across the table of differences and shake the hand of our brother or sister. The answer is so simple and yet it is one of the hardest things to achieve.

Will 2008 be the beginning of change?

The answer begins with us.

Happy Holidays vs Merry Christmas

2007-12-19T09:05:00.000-08:00

"Ladies and Gentlemen! Welcome to tonight's feature fight between two age old foes! In this corner...standing at an even 6 ft...wearing the red and green shorts...Merry Christmas!!!!"

Applause erupts throughout the arena....

"And in this corner....standing at 6 ft...wearing the colors of the world...Happy Holidays!!!"

Applause erupts again....a couple of "Boo's" can be heard in the background...

The two foes approach the center of the ring and with the ringing of the bell they begin to fight!

Really?

This is what it has come to...we now spend our time battling over a phrase?

We sit in the month of December and are currently six days from Christmas....and this is the comment I heard on the radio the other day:

"I don't care if you like me saying 'Merry Christmas' or not! This month is about the birth of Christ and if you don't like me saying it.....well then.....Go To Hell! Especially since you are going there anyway!"

Nice.

I am sure that God is giving that individual a standing ovation as we speak....because when God sent His son to earth that was what the point was....damn everybody to hell who doesn't "join up".

There seems to be a growing swell of support for the idea of "fighting back" against those who speak out against Christianity. The common perception was that Christians were too passive and not able to stand up to the outspoken religious sects of the world. That they are an easy prey because of their desire to "turn the other cheek" and their ability to respect those who they share this world with. What people were actually saying is that Christians have taken the teachings of Jesus Christ to heart and look how funny it is that they are actually attempting to implement peace and love into their lives.

That tendency has shifted though. We have many Christian leaders who are moving into the dangerous realm of placing a distinct line between "those who are" and "those who aren't". There are terms such as "Battle Cry" and "Front Lines" being thrown around which is designed to stir up the emotions of the Christian faithful. There is a drive to pronounce the Christian Faith as an "Us vs Them" scenario and questions asking "Whose side are you on?" are becoming more and more frequent.

I have to believe that God is shaking His head in utter disappointment as He sees His name associated with the dividing of His own people. This life journey we are on does not lend itself to looking across the table and dismissing a fellow human because of a different belief system. The fact remains that we are all created in God's image and that means white, black, red, islamic, jewish, christian, buddhist, heterosexual, homosexual. That is the beauty of this world that God has provided for us and all of the wonderful people that He has enabled us to come in contact with. When one uses God to separate humanity we are merely defeating the unifying force which is His love.

When God sent His son Jesus it was an act meant to bring the world together, it was meant to create peace, it was meant to enable the world to see the type of God we have. The problem lies in the human desire to "know" and "judge". We want so badly to have our belief system be the right one and we are willing to sacrifice the peaceful gift of Jesus in order to show the world we are right.

If Christians do not lose the attitude that we are better than those who follow other religions than we are doomed to fail at the very purpose of Jesus. This month is not yours and the season of Christmas is not reserved for your enjoyment....in fact if we follow the example of Jesus it actually belongs to all of those who are on the outside looking in. The question is what do they see when peering through the windows of the Christian faith? Is it a room full of pompous know it alls or is it a room with a manger and a sign saying 'welcome'?

Happy Holidays.

Merry Christmas.

Open your eyes....this world is for the inn keepers, the shepherds, the wisemen....it for all who want to partake. Live your life as an example of what Jesus was sent to promote and leave the attitude at home....

Buy the Book!

2007-12-18T08:36:00.000-08:00

Hello!

Just wanted to put a post out there about a new book that I have been published in! The book is a magazine called: Haruah Breath of Heaven and they also have a series of books that they release. If you would like to purchase the book that my devotion is in please click on the following link:

http://www.lulu.com/content/1167896

The piece that they used is called: "Could You Handle It" and it revolves around the courageous life of a member of my congregation. Please check it out!!

Just Trying to Wake Up

2007-12-06T06:17:00.000-08:00

“I can’t move.”

Joe had been standing in the same spot for the last 30 years and all of a sudden God was telling him it was time to walk. This had become a very comfortable place and Joe had enjoyed his stay but there was no denying this push coming from above.

“I can’t move.”

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to take the next step. He just didn’t know how. His life path had been predictable, easy, a walk in the park. He had seen other people forced to move but he figured that it would never happen to him. He had everything that he needed and walking just didn’t seem to be a very smart move.

“I can’t move.”

He loved God and enjoyed all of the perks that come with being spiritual. He loved private moments of prayer, the singing of songs on a peaceful morning, and an invigorating religious class. He could look into a child’s eyes and see the pure joy of life. There had been great moments of joy and deep times of spirituality. He had grown up with the umbrella of God’s love and he had grown fond of the relationship.

“I can’t move.”

He looked around the room and wished that there was someone else who would move for him. It was empty. He looked down at his feet and began to cry. He cried for the loss of innocence, the loss of comfort, and the loss of simplicity. God had chosen him for the next chapter and there was nothing he could do about it.

“I have to move.”

The dreams had been to real…the voice of God too strong. He had woken up with sweat pouring off his body and the voices from his slumber had echoed in his brain. He had stood up and found his feet locked into place on the floor.

“I have to move.”

There was going to be a gift. There was going to be child. There was going to be a king. The voice had told him all of this. He wanted to believe but that would mean he would have to walk. He heard a shuffling of feet at the door.

“Joseph….are you alright?”

He looked down at his feet and wiped the tears away. He looked up at the beautiful face of his precious Mary and took a step towards her…

“I’m fine Mary…just trying to wake up.”

Opposites

2007-11-28T08:04:00.000-08:00

There once was a man who had nothing.

There once was a man who had everything.

They both had the same name, dressed in the same manner, ate the same food, drove the same car, and loved the same woman. When they looked into the mirror.....they even looked the same.

But...

One man had nothing and the other had everything.

How can this be?

How can one person have it all and yet feel as if they have nothing? How can one person look at their life and feel unsatisfied but in actuality have what everyone else wants? Who can eat to their hearts content but then look across the table and want more? How can one drive to work but then feel as if they have not achieved success?

How can one man have nothing and everything all at the same time?

I don't know....but I want to.

I can't figure it out.....but I desire to.

I am good.....but yet I fail.

I smile......and yet I cry.

When one looks out into the world......do they look out content with what is within their grasp or do they let go of what they hold in an attempt to grab on to something else?

There was a child.......he grew.......he taught........he died........he rose.......

He is within your grasp and yet when you let go...........He doesn't fall.

Chase your Life but the Truth lies within you.

Look around and realize you are here. Right where you are supposed to be.

I have....I want....

God.

The Opening of Our Eyes

2007-11-07T08:39:00.000-08:00

The eyes of a child never lie.

One of my favorite times of the day is early in the morning when my daughter starts to wake-up. There is a slight desperation to her cries...as if she knows that it is morning and has the idea that the louder she cries the quicker breakfast will arrive. I ease the door to the nursery open and gently walk over to the crib....I peer into the pink abyss that is her bed. She pauses for a moment as she studies this new intrusion into her sight line....and then it happens.

The smile.

Her mouth widens, her eyes flicker with recognition, and the arms immediately go up. Her dad has come and it is time to get up and face the day. I relish the feeling of her weight in my arms and we make our way down the stairs to enjoy a quality breakfast of rice cereal and mashed bananas. Life doesn't get any better than this.....

So many of us want this same relationship with God. We want to cry out when we wake to the realization of being alone and we long to see God peering over the bars of our lives....a smile on His face. There is nothing worse than opening your eyes and being completely alone.....especially when the last time you closed them....there were people all around you.

This the life sequence of faith. There are ebbs and flows, peaks and valleys, good and bad days. There are moments where we close our eyes to the obvious and pursue that which makes us feel good.....but eventually the glow fades and our eyes open again to the world we actually live in. The world that we wish to live in and the reality of where our bodies lie can be very different. The question that arises is where does God reside? Does He go with us when our eyes close to the reality of His love? Does He accompany us down the dark roads of desire? Will we feel His presence when our thoughts turn to those things that take us farther from Him?

Would I leave my daughter in a time of need? Would I fail to fix a wound that my little girl receives? Would I leave my daughter to cry in fear? Would I sit and watch while she encountered a circumstance beyond her comprehension?

No.

God goes with you in whatever direction you go. Whether it be a descent into darkness or an ascension to opportunistic glory. He must go for He understands that we are just children trying to find our way in this crazy world. The roller coaster ride which is our faith journey dictates that we are in constant need of supervision. When our eyes are open to all that He is giving to us....He is there. When our eyes close to His love....He is there. When we awake....back from the nightmare of the failures of desire....He is there.

He will never leave......you may try......but you are in His grip.

Forever.

Are You Ready for the Day?

2007-10-24T10:02:00.000-07:00

When you wake up in the morning and look into the mirror:

Today is a new day...yesterday is done.
What are you going to do today that the person staring back would be proud of?
Are your eyes open to the possibility of change?
Is your mouth ready to speak in the defense of another?
Do you see potential?
Is today about Luck or about God?
Who are you going to support today?
Can you see what God has done?
Will you cheat the person staring back at you or give them a chance?
Be honest.....who is staring back at you: Reality or Dream?

Is it time to make the Dream a Reality? Will you allow God to work through you today? Will your eyes be open to those in trouble around you? Are you willing to step out of the mirror and into the world?

Good Luck?

No Luck.

Just God.

Now brush those teeth and get out there.......

Falling Down

2007-10-17T09:00:00.000-07:00

Today my daughter began her first lesson in Life.

I am sitting on the floor of my living room and my daughter is talking up a storm. I have no idea what she is saying but I know that it means a lot to her since her eyes betray the determination that she holds inside. She stops briefly, wobbles a little, and falls face first onto the floor. I catch my breath but resist the urge to pick her up....she must learn. Her little hands press down on the floor, her head slowly rises off the carpet, and her deep black eyes stare at me with curiosity.

Then she smiles. It's the most beautiful smile that I have ever seen and I give her a wink. She giggles. I laugh. She falls face first onto the floor again. I wait. She pushes herself up and we begin the routine again.

She falls and then picks herself up. She is learning about life and I get a first row seat.

Awesome.

There are two ways of looking at moments of uncertainty. We can embrace the fact that we have no idea what is going on or we can stress over the fact that tomorrow is hidden in the haze of today. There is always a fear that the next step we take is going to be the one which launches us into a terrifying free fall and we can only pray that there is a soft piece of carpet to cushion the fall. Will that next step be one of pure satisfaction or one of pure hell? Will we find peace or terror? Will we be happy or sent into a black hole of confusion? What will the decisions that we make today mean for our lives tomorrow?

Will God be there when we take that step? Will God be there when the bottom falls out? Will God be there when we fall?

It is easy to find God when we are successful. When all is right in the world it is very easy to make the connection between what is good and the work of God. When that prayer is answered and life seems to be moving along with ease and certainty....we have no problem putting God at the center of it. It is when we are faced with an uncertain future and when a good life becomes a confusing one....it is then that we wonder where God has gone.

The basic fact of decision making is that there is always the chance that the decision made will lead you down a road that you didn't necessarily want to take. There is always the possibility that you might fall and it might hurt. We can also make a choice that turns out to be great and our lives are turned into something that is so much better than we ever dreamed.

Either way....God will be there.

We are going to fall down. We are going to stand.

This is Life.

There is a reason that I won't pick my daughter up when she falls. She has to learn that one must push themselves back up and dust themselves off. She has to learn that giving up is not an option and when life knocks you down there is only one option available.......Get Up.

The key to the whole process is where I place myself when she does fall. The first thing that she sees when she lifts her head up off the floor is my face. I am always there and my words of encouragement resonate within her head. She studies my face to see if all is okay and when she sees that I am confident that she will recover.....she smiles.... for my confidence becomes her confidence.

Will you fall in Life?

Yes.

Will God be there?

Yes.....just look for the smiling face.

Being Different is Being the Same

2007-10-03T12:05:00.001-07:00

In our interaction with each other there sometimes needs to be a reminder that we are all in this together. There are so many circumstances in which we look at each other as being completely different....so here are five ways in which we are all the same.

The air that I breathe is the same air that you breathe. The air was created by God...therefore we all partake in the "breath" of God.
When I bleed the color is red, when you bleed the color is red, when Jesus bled the color was red.
When the sun shines we all have the same predetermined amount of time in which to use that light.....the question is how will you use it?
We all have muscles with which to smile.....it just depends on if you work those muscles which makes the result different.
God loves you and God loves me.

We concentrate so much on those things that make us different. Whether it be skin color, income, schools we attend, people we love, the church we go to......the list is endless.

Why?

By pointing at someone and claiming that they are different....you are also pointing at yourself and saying that you are different as well.

Relish the fact that you are who God made you. Enjoy the fact that there are quirks about you that give you that individual touch. Don't worry about being "in line". Find the things that God has given you and use them to promote the differences in all of us. I don't want to be you and you should not want to be me. We should desire the ability to be ourselves. Let the breath of God enter you, let the blood of Christ invigorate you, give your best effort when the sun is high, and give those face muscles a work out.

We are all loved by God, but it is the recognizing of the unique which enables us to stand on our own two feet.

We can be different for God made us the same.

Will He Give Up?

2007-09-26T05:48:00.000-07:00

What do you do when the various paths that God has laid out for you seem to blend together?

You have every intention of doing the things that God wants you to do, but there are choices which constantly bombard you....and you are afraid that if you make the wrong one....God will simply give up.

Does God ever throw His hands up and decide that you are a lost cause?

Yes?

No?

I have had the pleasure of meeting many different people in my life and the one constant that always seems to run through all of them is the desire to do good. I have met people in hospitals, prisons, flight decks of airplanes, school grounds, university classrooms, restaurants half-way around the world, church sanctuaries...and that is just the beginning of the list. In each circumstance it is evident that being human gives us the ability to do good and to try and better our lives each day. The trick is that some of us are really good at it and others seem to struggle mightily just to get through each day without hurting someone else. It is this diverse mix of humanity that makes up the world that God watches over and which He cares for.

Within this group resides those people who are scared that if they get out of the line that they view God has put them in......then God will get them. This is usually because of some type of tragedy that has befallen that individual in the past. They went through hell and then found God in the process, thus turning their lives over to God and promising to follow the path laid out for them. Their lives continue and they quickly learn that trying to figure out what God has in store for you is quite difficult. The choices which can be made are numerous and they try to pick through the various options and pick the one that God wants them to choose. These people are very picky for they feel that their lives hang in the balance.....make the wrong choice and tragedy may strike again. God knows how to keep them in line and the thought of going through hell again is just to frightening.

This is a rough way to go through life and the paralyzing fear can wreak havoc on the lives of those hanging onto the notion of not wanting to choose the wrong path.

I don't believe that God is out to get us. I don't believe that God sits up on His throne with His finger on the red button of tragedy, ready to push it if we take a path that doesn't coincide with His plan. I sincerely believe that all God truly wants is to go with us while we travel on our roads of life. God doesn't cause tragedy in order to bring us back to Him.....that would be like beating your dog everyday and then opening the door and inviting the animal to come sleep in your bed. No....God wants to be a part of whatever choice we make. He wants to be involved in the conversation, He wants to be included in the dream, He wants His love to have a place at the table of whatever meal we choose to eat.

God does not give up on us............ever.

We may frustrate Him, we may sadden Him, we may do things that cause Him to shake His head in disbelief, but there is nothing that we can do which will cause His hand to be withdrawn from our life. Like any good parent there is an understanding that children are going to make mistakes and even though it may seem as if the mistakes are never ending.......the parent loves their child irregardless.

The great thing about including God in the conversation is that His strong moral stance will drive us to make the appropriate decision. If we listen to the love of God and make sure that we transfer that voice into our everyday view, then how can we go wrong?

Go ahead and make the choice.

Just take God with you.

Which Came First?

2007-09-12T12:29:00.000-07:00

What comes first.

Sunday or Monday?

I had this thought while having a discussion for a Masters class that I am taking. We were discussing the importance of the Sabbath and in the midst of the discussion it was mentioned that since Sunday was the first day of the week that it should be treated with more importance than the others.

Sunday is first?!

I thought Monday was first!

I know that this might seem to be a trivial comment and many of you may be shaking your heads wondering if I have lost my mind. I assure you that I haven't and I actually am perplexed by this new notion.

I have always viewed Sunday as the seventh day. At the end of a long week we can come together for a day of rest and get rejuvenated for the days to come. We go to church, enjoy the weather, watch some football, and generally do the things we need to accomplish in order for the new week to kick off the next day. Sunday has been the clean up day....the last day to take a breath and head out into the world the next morning.

Monday has always been the first day of the week. All of the issues that we left on Friday are anxiously waiting for us when we walk in the door. That paper that was due, the project which needs to be accomplished, the meetings that need to be held, the phone calls that have to be made. All of these items that we quickly jump into so that we can get our week started on the right foot. The thought of Saturday and Sunday seem like far off goals that we must work to reach.

What if we put Sunday first? Is it appropriate that the one day we are supposed to leave for God we save for last? Shouldn't we promote God to the front of the line and make His day our number one priority?

This doesn't mean that we need to change what we do on Sunday. We should get up, spend time with family, attend church, eat a meal together, watch some football, go for a walk.....basically get ready for what the week is going to bring. We should do this with the knowledge that God goes with us when we board that bus, poke along in traffic, and drop our children off at daycare. If we wait to the end of the week and then ask God to give us peace from the week that we just had....we are closing the barn door after the horse has already left!

If we ask God for peace and guidance in the week that is coming....now we are giving ourselves a little reassurance that no matter what we encounter in the next six days....God will be there with us.

So let's start the week on Sunday! Give God the first day.......not the last.

Just Dance

2007-09-05T06:40:00.000-07:00

There is a dance that we all partake in and it tends to last a lifetime.

I have been dancing for 33 years and hope to continue for years to come. I enjoy the dance and even though there have been times when I have stood in the middle of the floor and wondered where everyone has gone.....I have never stopped dancing.

There are times when the room has been filled with people and the music has been blaring with my favorite tunes. I have moved with great feeling and my body has felt alive. The faces of my past shoot by me in a whirl of smiles and shouts. We dance together and for a period of time my life is seemingly perfect.

Then the music slows and the energy wanes. The faces slow and soon I am keenly aware of being alone. I stare off into the shadows and notice that there is a darkness into which I cannot penetrate. I am not allowed to leave the room and so I dance. I dance to the music and allow the sadness to control my movements. The sound of my scuffling feet and gentle sobs are all that echo across the walls. The dance continues and I move to the music of life.

Then the melody begins to change and the rhythm picks up. The lights shine and I glance around waiting for the party to begin again. The faces are back and we enjoy the feeling of the pulsating beat coursing through our bodies. We move again and there is laughter where there was once a sob. I throw my arms out and relish the moment for it is fleeting....I know that the music will slow again but I must enjoy the moment....it is a gift given to me.

And so it goes.......I dance.......over and over.........I dance.

There will come a day when the music will gently slow and then stop. The lights will come up and the door to my room will open, beckoning me to leave. I don't know what is on the other side of that door but I am fairly certain that the music of angels awaits me.

So my friends the only option we have in this life is to dance. No matter what the mood or beat might be......we must dance. Tap your feet......move your arms.....bob your head.......

Just dance.....

Dance to the rhythm of Life.

Gone To See About a Girl

2007-07-06T08:58:00.001-07:00

The house is quiet.

Not for long............. : )

We left as two.

We'll be back as three.

See all of you soon!!

My Girls

2007-06-27T06:46:00.000-07:00

I sit quietly on my patio and ponder.....

My life is very strange.

I begin to say a prayer for my wife who is away on business in Milwaukee, then I segway into a prayer for my new daughter who is in China, and then I finish up with a prayer of thanks for the life of my other daughter who resides in heaven.

I am in Kentucky and my girls are in Milwaukee, China, and Heaven.

My life is very strange.

This is not how I would have pictured my life to look like ten years ago. My family spread out across the universe and me sitting on a patio reading a golf magazine....weird. It is actually so strange that one needs to chuckle a little....in fact we can move that emotion into outright laughter. If we aren't able to smile at the curve balls that life throws at us then we will never truly gain happiness.

We all carry ideas of how our lives are supposed to look and as we move through our years it is hard to watch as our plans get rearranged and turned around. When we are young the world seems so large and the possibilities are endless. People ask you what kind of life you want to live and you fill the answer with grand pictures of success, children, perfect spouses, large homes, fast cars, powerful jobs, and numerous other "dreams". We head out from our adolescent lives and begin to work towards what we are certain will be a life filled with all of the "fruits" that life has to offer. It seems like it should come easy since every time we turn on the TV it is evident that the rest of America seems to be living the life we want to have....our turn will surely come.

Then things start to happen that we didn't expect. That perfect spouse doesn't materialize when they are supposed to, jobs don't pay enough, children come to soon or not at all, illness grabs ahold of you, addiction rears its ugly head, and that large home seems so far away. We start to get bogged down in the quick sand of life and yet we push on determined to accomplish all of the goals that were set when we were young. We begin to pull out the credit cards, settle for loans that bite us later on, chase jobs in search of satisfaction, and desperately grab onto partners that may not make us happy but will provide the mirror of a satisfied life. We judge our happiness on whether or not we meet the levels of success set by the media and those in the entertainment industry. We begin to move faster and faster hoping to beat the ticking clock which is our inevitable death.....days begin to blur.....years accelerate.....we must gain the goals that were set....our life flies by.

Somebody take a breath......please......just pause for one second.

I don't know much but I have learned one important lesson in this crazy life called "Todd". It is that God will provide what you need when you need it. This fascination with living the life that is falsely depicted on our TV screens will ultimately destroy you if allowed. In the pause of a moment look at what is around you and who has been provided for your journey through this short stay on Earth. It is very easy to get so caught up in the marathon of greed that we miss opportunities to interact with those around us. It is not hard to get buried by the weight of grief and not be able to see those who are offering hands of assistance. When the chasing of what we want overshadows the granting of what we need than it is time to re-evaluate.

I always wanted to be successful, have a wonderful wife, two children, and a house in the suburbs.

I work for God, have an unbelievable wife away on business in Milwaukee, a new 5 mos old child in China, an angel of a daughter in Heaven, and I sit on my patio in a suburb of Cincinnati.

God does give you what you need......it just may not be how you thought it would look. Get out of your tunnel vision.....your goals are closer than you think.

I sit quietly on my patio and chuckle.....life is strange.....

Good night Milwaukee, good night China, good night Heaven.

Sleep tight girls.

Imprints of Choice

2007-06-20T05:14:00.000-07:00

We hear so many times about coming to a fork in the road and not knowing which way to go. We peer to the right and then back to the left.....each direction has their positives and negatives. We stand back and scratch our heads wondering and trying to see into the future. We weigh all of the different possibilities...what friends can we possibly lose or gain and will it be monetarily beneficial to our life in the long run.

Maybe while we sit and think there are other people running by who seemingly have no problem choosing what direction they need to go. We politely wave and watch as their confident forms disappear down the path of their choice. It seems so easy for them and yet the frustration mounts as our own inability to choose a direction grows to enormous proportions.

Then we get a shot of courage and take a couple of steps down a path.......but then we look behind us and the fear of being wrong over takes us. Back to the fork we go....confident that as long we don't make the decision then we can't make the wrong one. The imprint of our footprints grows deep as each passing moment takes us closer to nothing but the present.

There are so many of us out there who are stuck. We started out with energy and enthusiasm, but then life started to fight back with its usual tenacity. We began to feel bogged down and the battle became a war. The days started to run together and before we knew it the decision to just get out of bed became the focal point of our existence. A life that was once full of promise and optimism became a 45 minute drive in rush hour traffic, a cup of coffee, and an inventive dinner in front of our favorite news personality. We have moments of movement but they are confined to the steep walls in which our existence takes place.

The imprints of our footprints grow deeper.

The fear of making the wrong decision sometimes is the very choice that will kill you.

The beauty of the world that God has provided for us is that we are able to make choices! If we look at how this world is set up it becomes evident that it is a world of constant movement and flux. It is filled with people who make decisions and then head out with the knowledge of having made a choice that will make them feel at peace with the world. The trick is to understand that every choice has the ability to change your life but it is how you make the choice which will determine the ultimate destination.

There are no guarantees that a choice will reap fruit but if done correctly you will be guaranteed protection from the fear of failure. What many people don't realize is that while standing at the fork in the road they are not alone. They will spin around in circles trying to find someone who will make the decision for them but all they tend to find are people who have only their personal interests in mind.

Look within yourself....

God resides in each of us and we in Him. We are often afraid to engage God in conversation since sometimes the advice may not be what we want to hear, but deep in our heart we know it to be true. As we look down the two paths it will become apparent which one to choose by what the "tug" of our heart tells us. It is in the pull of what we know to be true that our purest decisions are made and it is there where God resides. The choices of life are hard but they are given to us in order that we may not only impact our existence but others as well.

The fork in the road may pose a daunting task but a road is not meant to be looked at....no....it is meant to be travelled.

Say a prayer, feel the tug, and take a step.

The road awaits......let's see where it goes.

Perfection Has Been Attained

2007-06-13T07:26:00.000-07:00

What a face.....

When I started this blog over a year ago I started off with an explanation into how the idea of perfection and the striving towards its ideals were a waste of time. I told of how the pursuit of such a value was impossible and that we should understand that perfection did not exist here on earth.

I stand corrected.

There is a little girl named Wei Lu who is currently sleeping in an orphanage about 8,000 miles to the west of me and I would have to say that she is "perfect". Her eyes are the deepest black, her cheeks hold a twinge of red, her mouth is a shade of ruby, and I am fairly certain that she is a fighter just like her new mom and dad. I have searched for many a year to find exactly what God might look like and I believe I have my answer.

She sleeps and I dream.....this is how it should be.

I am still in the frame of mind that "perfection-is-overrated" and truly believe that the world's fascination with being good at everything is very detrimental to our future. I am changing my tune though when it comes to the idea that God would never strive for perfection within His own children. I continue to look at my new daughter's face and can't help but think along the lines of how "perfect" she looks. I can find no flaw and if God created her.....than perfection has been achieved. I am a "newbie" to this whole parent realm and won't even hold my daughter for the first time for another six weeks! I wonder if other parents ever take a moment and truly look at their children as a gift from God and what an impact they have on these beautiful packages.

If you are a parent I want to ask all of you a question and please answer it honestly.

Do you love your child?

Okay.....here is the second question.

Do they know that you love them? Have you reminded them of your feelings?

Go back to the first time you laid eyes on your children. Remember the overwhelming feelings, the smiles, the tears, the promises of endless love. Before the strep throats, temper tantrums, report cards, sport teams, and piano lessons.......before life got complicated.

Remember?

There are defining moments in everyone's life and often they get lost in the fog of the world's pursuit of making sure that we conform to normalcy. The defining moment that we all have in common is that when we were born our lives began and from that point the world changed forever. What was normal yesterday suddenly ceased to exist because of the insertion of another child into this vast world. We as parents have this unbelievable responsibility to care for this gift from God. We don't know what is in store for our children but I will guarantee that there is a plan and we must remember who put these children into the world and whose image they are designed after.

For one moment put aside the anxiety of parenthood and take a good look at your child's face.....remember the first time you laid eyes on this gift from God. Take yourself back to the feeling of utter devotion and recognize that this is still the same child, the same one you held close to your chest, the same one who you sang to late at night.......go back and get lost again.

I have held perfection before and had to say goodbye before I was ready. I have seen perfection again and as she closes her eyes tonight......her father sits a world away awash in the rays of a new day.

She sleeps and I dream...........the way it should be.

God has struck again........perfection has been attained.

**Thank you to Kim for the inspiration.

Don't Be Afraid

2007-06-06T07:24:00.000-07:00

My Grandfather passed away over the weekend and he leaves behind a woman he was married to for over 60 years. They were an inseparable couple.....this has got to be one of the hardest things that my Grandmother has ever had to do.

I could sit here and talk about the many attributes of my grandfather and then move on to the various ways that he has had a positive influence on my life. I am choosing to keep those thoughts private at this time and allow myself to enjoy and relish what a wonderful man he was and continues to be.

There is one gift that my grandfather gave me which I would like to share with all of you. It is actually a quote lifted from a letter that was sent to me while in flight school.

"Don't Be Afraid."

That was it. A simple quote that has engrained itself into my memory. It came in a letter that was primarily written by my grandmother stating how proud they were of what I was doing and that they hoped all was well down in Florida. As was his custom my grandfather would always sign his own name at the bottom and then add a little comment. This time the comment was:

"Don't Be Afraid."

It has stuck with me all of these years because it can be used in many different situations. I have called upon this comment while trying to land a plane that was on fire, dealing with the death of my daughter, choosing whether or not to change jobs, and now coming to terms with my grandfather's death. It is so simple and yet transcends over many different emotional and figurative levels.

All of us deal with fear every day. It can be paralyzing in some instances and other times it can drive us to be successful. There are moments where we look out into the future and shudder with fright at what might be out there. There are other moments that because of what has happened in the past the strong grip of fear reaches up and prevents us from moving forward. There are small fears, big fears, wide fears, narrow fears and a bunch of fears that lie in between.

Fear can control our lives and without the ability to see past our own inhibitions than we will never maximize who we are truly supposed to be.

My grandfather understood that.

He used to tell the story of standing on a troop transport ship hundreds of miles off the coast of Japan during World War II. He was part of a massive invasion force that was going to attack mainland Japan in an attempt to end the war. He told of knowing that his death was nearly imminent since the predictions were dire for those making the initial attack and that even though he was afraid that he was prepared to die if needed. There was pride in his voice whenever he told that story and I remember from a very young age understanding the idea behind sacrifice and death.

"Don't Be Afraid."

This was not a quote telling me to never have fear in my life. This was a quote telling me to acknowledge when you are afraid and then move past it. This is a quote telling all of us that when we are staring fear in the face that we have two decisions:

1. Allow fear to drive us in the direction that it wants us to go
or
2. Recognize that fear is merely an emotion that is rooted within our own minds and move forward towards what we know to be true.

My grandfather was a great man and my grandmother is a great woman. They took this world by storm and have never allowed it to dictate who they must be. When I look in the mirror I am beginning to see that many of my attributes are a direct result of who my grandfather was and I carry a great deal of pride with that.

To my grandmother: "Don't Be Afraid"
To my mother: "Don't Be Afraid"
To my uncles: "Don't Be Afraid"
To the world: "Don't Be Afraid"

To my grandfather: Fear not......God has come to take you home.

I'll see you again......take care of my little one and let her know I love her.......

Love,
Tex

Stand Alone

2007-05-30T05:07:00.001-07:00

There are moments in life where one must stand alone.

It takes guts.

It takes vision.

It takes a belief that when all is said and done that what you have stood for will make this world a better place and the loneliness of the battle can finally fade away. It is not an easy task and many times the reaction to your decision will be hurtful......

I remember in a History class during college that the professor asked a question that I knew I had the answer for. I was a freshman and the class was a Senior level course full of people who were much better prepared to enter into a discussion with the articulate professor. Various other students began to answer the question and I sat there with my eyes looking at the desk while trying to decide whether or not to actually raise my hand or not. I listened while the professor politely dismissed each answer as being a good attempt but not what he was looking for. Finally, the room fell silent and all eyes were focused on the professor.....except mine. The professor asked if there were any more attempts and I sadly kept my head down....to afraid to answer.

I would have been right.

I also would have received 20 points of extra credit on my next exam.

I was not happy.

There is a problem occurring in our society today in which the ability to make a decision has become hindered by the uncertainty of what life will be like tomorrow. We are bombarded each day with so many images of death and destruction that we soon become fearful to leave the confines of what we know to be safe. Like cattle we wake up each morning and travel the same roads, eat the same food, talk to the same people and generally avoid venturing out of what our routine has dictated. When a change is proposed we balk at the idea of having do something different and steer clear of what we don't know.

What if the change is for the better? What if the change is something that you have been looking for? What if the change will make your life have meaning?

There are many times that we see something that we know to be good, but those around us lack the ability to open their eyes to the possibility. We hate the idea of departing on a new road without the companionship of our friends and family, but there are times when your departure may actually benefit those you love in the long run.

When God presents a new direction don't be afraid to look at your fears. The fearful part is normal but the lack of movement is not. We were not put here to just sit inside our ten mile comfort zone and wait to die. Listen for the opportunities and even though it may feel as if you are standing alone....understand that you are rooted in the love of God.

The question from the Professor?

"What one entity has influenced the shape and structure of the world throughout history?"

The answer?

"God."

I knew the answer. I was just to afraid to share it. Sometimes one must stand alone and share what they know to be true.

How can you go wrong when the answer is God?

Thoughts

2007-05-23T11:16:00.000-07:00

When did God become a weapon?

When did leaders decide that the right decision was less important than the correct decision?

When did looking to the future become a chore?

Who took the past away from the rear view window?

Where did the quiet thinker retire to?

What happened to listening and caring?

If we must take care of the strong and the weak............how are we ever going to survive?

Who decided that text messaging was the best way to deal with problems? What happened to honesty and a handshake?

If the old are wise and the young are learning..........shouldn't somebody be teaching the other?

If we all live by our own mission statements............won't we all just run into each other?

Jesus didn't have the New Testament...........

Love your neighbor..........hardest thing you will ever do.

When did it become okay to ignore the new? Weren't we all new once?

When did it become okay to push aside the old? Won't we all be old soon?

We don't know what happens in 5 seconds......

There are people who will love you one moment and then hate you the next........oh well.

When people reach out to you.....take their hands.....they just might see something that you don't.

God loves you. God loves me. God forgives you. God forgives me. I forgive you.......God said I should.

As They Prepare to Leave

2007-05-15T11:57:00.000-07:00

There are so many different ways that one can choose to go in life. The paths of our lives are constantly intersecting and every now and then we plow into somebody. It is that chance encounter at the grocery store, the bump while walking down the street, the slamming of the brakes at a stop sign….the list is endless. If you think of all that has to happen for any one of us to literally bump into each other, it will make your brain hurt. If you really wanted to get hypothetical you could trace it back to your birth. If you had been born a minute or two later….think of all the people you never would have met….think of how different your life would be. Who would you never have known? What experiences would never have happened? Who would you be?

I believe that each individual has the power to change the course of another. Whether that change be for good or evil is completely up to the person being acted on. I don’t know who is out there today that I will either help or hinder in the future. I don’t know whose future I will change due to an action or statement. What I do know is that I have a responsibility to live a life in which “opportunity” should be a verb. I need to look for those moments in which I can help, promote, or change someone’s life. In turn I want others to look at my life and do the same for me. I want my “collisions” with other humans to mean something. I want my chance encounters to be earth shattering and my polite conversations to start something. I want to understand what it is I am supposed to do while I am here.

This is the time of year when I have to get ready to say good-bye to my Seniors. They are already to starting to get that look in their eye and I know that soon they will depart for various parts of the country. It is a strange moment for a youth minister for the opportunity to teach is slowly slipping away and there is a pressure to make sure that they understand. I can only imagine what it must feel like for the parents! I have watched them grow in maturity and stature, but there is always the worry that I have not done enough. So I am going to give a quick synopsis of what I think they should know.

I want them to be leaders of their lives.

I want them to have a strong faith foundation. I understand that they will go through varying degrees of faith, but I hope that the foundation is good enough to weather those moments of uncertainty.

They need to be able to look at opportunity and seize it. This world is filled with those who would much rather sit back and allow others to dictate how things are supposed to work. If you can step forward and say, “follow me!” than everything gets a little easier.

I want them to believe in compassion. This world will try and tell you that you can be better than everybody else. What the world doesn’t tell you is that the only way to the top is on the arms of others. Treat others with respect and they will lift you……treat others poorly and they will drop you. So simple….yet so hard to grasp.

Above all I want them to know how much God truly does love them. There will be happy times and there will be sad times, but the one constant is God’s unwavering Love. It is always there.

There are moments when I wonder if I have done enough for these fine young people. I will have a conversation or overhear a comment and a sadness envelopes me as I pray that they have understood what the last two years have been about. I know that they have listened and that friendships have been strengthened……but life can get rough out there. I want them to be prepared.

They must never give up. Ever. In the face of adversity they must prevail, in the face of uncertainty they must listen to their hearts, in the face of sadness they must open their mouths to God.

Our lives are constantly intersecting and I was lucky enough to bump into these teenagers during my travels. They have shaped my life through their actions, kind words, and knowing glances and I can only hope that God has touched them in the same way.

I believe that each individual has the power to alter the life of another. You never know who is going to cross your path, but when they do make sure to take a moment and say hello.

The foundation has been laid and now it is time to build.

You Can't Go Back

2007-05-08T05:18:00.000-07:00

"Hello?"

The young man peered into the darkness and tried to allow the shadows to take shape.

"Hello.....is anybody there?"

The silence answered in the expected manner and the young man took a tentative step through the doorway. He was immediately enveloped with a sense of fear and he began to back out of the room only to find that the door had disappeared.

"You can't go back." A voice whispered through the abyss

The man whirled around, desperately trying to see who was in the room with him.

"Who said that!" He yelled.

"You know." The voice whispered back.

The voice did sound familiar and the man searched back through his memories.....and then it came to him.

"Destiny......is that you?" The man asked quietly.

"Yes."

"I haven't heard from you in years.....why show up now?"

"I thought that you might need some help considering your situation."

"Situation?" The man furrowed his brow in confusion.

"You know.....that day."

"Oh......." The man's voice trailed off as he tried to fight off the memories.

"Listen. I just wanted to make sure that you understood that there is a purpose for your life and thought you might want to have a little reassurance."

"Thanks....." The man stood quietly in the void waiting for the conversation to continue.....it didn't.

"Destiny?"

"Yes." The voice whispered back.

"It is really dark in here....any chance we can get some light? I would love to see you face to face."

"You know you aren't allowed to see me. It doesn't work like that."

"It would be a lot easier to interact with you if I could at least look at you."

"Trust me....if you saw me then your life would just get more complicated. It is better if you just follow me."

"What if I don't want to follow you? What if I decide to just stay where I am?"

"I stay as well....I only move if you move."

"Great..."

"So....are you going to take a step?" Destiny asked with a bit of irritation.

"Maybe....where are you taking me?"

"To Him."

"Him?"

"Him."

The young man gathered his thoughts and tried to will his feet to step forward but it was just to difficult.

"I can't move....I'm scared." He said with a quiet voice.

"Put your hand down by your side."

"What? What is that going to do?" the young man asked.

"Go ahead and do it. I have somebody who will help guide you."

The man slowly ran his hand down his shirt and rested it gently on his pant leg.

"Okay.....now what?"

He heard a rustling down by his feet and then sucked his breath in when he felt the small fingers of a child grasp onto one of his fingers. He smiled as he heard the little giggle that he knew so well.

"Hello Angel." He said with a gentle whisper.

"Hi Daddy." The little one responded back with a tiny laugh.

"So.......are you ready to take the next step?" Destiny asked again.

The young man peered into the darkness and felt the small squeeze of his daughter's finger at his side. He took a deep breath.....

"Yes."

Destiny let out a little sigh and then gave the order.

"Just follow my voice......it is a long journey. He is waiting for you.....in fact He is the one who sent me."

The young man began to walk and then he heard Destiny begin to sing in the most beautiful voice.....

"Amazing Grace.....how sweet the sound.....that saved a wretch like me......"

He felt a slight tug on his hand and he heard his daughter say...

"Just follow the voice Dad......just follow the voice."

Success?

2007-05-01T18:25:00.000-07:00

It is in my genetic make-up to try and be the best at everything I do. I very rarely succeed at truly becoming great at something but I will die trying. There have been times in my life when that drive has blinded me from various paths that I may have taken. This desire has caused me great joy, but it has also brought pain and sadness. I have seen amazing sights on this journey but I have also spent many a night gripped in the arms of darkness. It seems as if success can be as painful as it can be exciting.

Is it possible to be truly successful?

What is success to you? There are a myriad of different scenarios in which one can portray themselves as successful. For some it is the acquiring of material wealth, for others it is the raising of a family. Some people view success in the beauty of living, while a select few look at success through the eyes of death. Sometimes people may feel successful in one thing but then failures in another. A corner office position is successful, but that child support check signals failure. The unemployment line brings you down, but the smiling baby waiting at home is what makes you live. The track marks on your arm speak of past defeats but the spouse sleeping next to you brings a sparkle to your eye.

Defeat can be the catalyst for success.

Success can be the cause of defeat.

Have you ever sat in your room and just cried? Have you ever taken an inventory of your life and wondered what happened? Have you ever looked up into the heavens and wondered what to do next?

We are driven by our society to be successful. If we don't have the right jobs, possessions, homes than we are told that our lives don't amount to much. We are asked what our next step is going to be? How will we capitalize on the next big venture? Are we going to risk it all or play it safe? How are we going to succeed in the life that we have been given?

So we look around at the life we live and start to categorize everything.

Car: Not big enough

House: Wrong neighborhood

Friends: Not popular enough

Children: Not smart enough

We disregard those things that we do have and longingly look across the street wondering how to acquire their life. Our children tug at our pants and we gently move them away while peering through the curtains at the people we would like to be. Life swirls around us and we just sit wondering how we will make it to the top.

What if success was not measured by the material, but by the emotional output? What if we were able to determine the quality of someones life based on the amount of people they helped? Rather than looking across the street and wondering how to acquire the wealth of our neighbors, what if we tried to figure out a way to better their lives. What if that list that we made changed?

Car: Does someone need a ride?

House: Who needs shelter?

Friends: How can I help?

Children: I love you. No matter what.

The thing that many of us forget is that we all tend to spend our time staring out the windows of our lives at each other. It is the old adage, "the grass is always greener on the other side". The fact is that the grass may look green but without nutrients it will end up dying. The nutrients don't reside in the silver paint of the latest vehicle, but in the gifts of our Father. Use the gifts that are given to you and watch for those in need.......it is in the moment of giving that true success can be found.

Stop staring at each other.....walk across the street and lend a hand.

From the Halls of Kentucky V

2007-04-26T06:21:00.000-07:00

Hello all! Today we continue our youth series titled "From the Halls of Kentucky". I am lucky to have some great writing talent among the teenagers that I work with and I wanted to share some of their insight with you. Today's devotion is from a young man named Randall. It deals with the realization of what this life truly means and gives some insight in how to live it. Enjoy.

Realization

Some people may say that I am the typical teen living the typical life of an eighteen year old. I get up every morning and go about my normal routine of getting ready for school. I go outside, start my car, and crank the heat up hoping that it will disintegrate all of the icy matter that has built up over the past few hours. Then I am off to start another day of my life in this crazy world. I find myself constantly on the run trying to live my life so I have something to look back on. I guess I am just now realizing that you need to slow down and take life step by step. I try to point myself more towards God but I still manage to let that part of life slip away.

Romans 12: 18 talks about living in peace with everyone. I find myself starting to look at life as a race. A race to see who can find themselves at the finish line and then be able to take a step back and say that they have officially accomplished life. I feel that this verse is trying to say that even though people in this world have different opinions we need to accept that and treat them as if they were your own blood. It would take more time out of our crazy lives to be someone’s enemy then simply just their friend. It shouldn’t matter what color, race, or gender the other person is, we just need to remember that we are all human and will make mistakes; in order to better ourselves, we need to move on and accept life.

Randall

Tomato Juice

2007-04-24T06:45:00.000-07:00

I am someone who is constantly trying to figure out what is coming around the bend. I am not a fan of surprises and the fact that I don’t know what is going to happen tomorrow drives me nuts. I have a back-up plan for everything, and then another back-up for the back-up. The positive of that way of thinking is that I tend to stay calm when everything falls apart; the negative is that I am always waiting for the world to fail. The optimists of the world will tell me that I need to relax and just enjoy the ride while the pessimists will ask for my autograph and make me the poster child of the Failsafe Movement.

I find it funny that two people can look at the exact same situation and feel two completely different emotions. It is the age old “Glass is half empty, Glass is half full” scenario. My question has always been, “What happened to the other half?”

Did somebody drink it? Did it spill? What kind of liquid are we talking about? Would I want to finish what is in the glass or just give it to the dog? Is it a big glass or a small cup?

Do you see my dilemma?

Life’s beauty is in the details and when those details are over looked we are left with empty clichés that carry little weight. By arguing over whether or not the glass has a certain amount of liquid in it we completely ignore the commonalities of what is in the glass.

Let me explain this in simpler terms. If I look at a glass and see tomato juice there is a good chance that if you were to look at the same glass you would see tomato juice. We can now both agree that we are looking at tomato juice and that if we drink said juice we will be nourished with a healthy drink. If we were to sit there and argue over how much tomato juice was in the glass than we would never get to the good part…..the drinking of the liquid.

Let’s go a little further and take buildings in which people go to in order to worship God. They basically look the same and have the same set up inside. If I were to take a cross-section of these buildings I would find rows of places to sit, a large area upfront with some sort of wooden table, a cross of some sort, and musical instruments in various shapes and sizes. This place of worship is replicated all over the world and it comes in all shapes and sizes.

Now if we were to stand outside of these buildings and argue who has more “God” or “Jesus” than the other we would never get to the good part…..the nourishment that waits inside. Just like in the “glass is half empty/half full” scenario….the healthy part is not the glass but what has been poured into it.

We all look at this world through lenses that have been shaped by what our life’s experiences have been. The important thing to remember is that we are all still looking at the same world. Whether you are an optimist or pessimist, a Baptist or Lutheran, a Methodist or Catholic…..the issue is not whether our glasses are different but whether or not God has filled them with the nourishment of life.

Let us not argue over the trivial but come together with the substance.

Half Empty.

Half Full.

Who cares….as long as we can get something to drink.

From the Halls of Kentucky IV

2007-04-19T06:26:00.000-07:00

Hello all! Today we continue our youth series titled "From the Halls of Kentucky". I am lucky to have some great writing talent among the teenagers that I work with and I wanted to share some of their insight with you. Today's devotion is from a young man named Jeb. It deals with a very popular children's song and how we can all apply it to our everyday lives. Enjoy!

Faith by Candle Light

“This little light of mine, I’m gonna let it shine...” is belted out by young children in Christian churches across America. At that age those words had little meaning, but today these words have reenergized my former dwindling flame.

In High school my candle (my faith) has been caught up in many gusts of wind and often blown out but at other point shined at its brightest potential. When my light was out I felt lost and was blindly walking down a road that should have not been traveled. It was in these days that I attended a music festival which would unexpectedly ignite a flame inside me that I could no longer “…hide it under a bushel…” but to let it shine.

Looking back to that 2002 music festival I realized it is what was around me that created the spark for my candle. In everyone’s life they will hit rock bottom and one’s faith will dwindle away or go out. They may not realize but God is using other people’s light around them to guide them back into the light where they are able to reignite or discover their lights strength for the first time.

In addition to looking for the light and finding it in other people I have found God has given everybody a way to relay his message across to others. Such as the musician Jeremy Camp who showed it to me. This is why the same ink scripting the quote will fill my candle light with music notes. This is the most important part of the candle the radiating light. In my case I have been given the talent to write and play music where as others do it through there actions such as preaching or giving there time to help a community service project.

Therefore, when you come across your God given talent you should use it to help others who might be at a very low point in there life and our need of a helping hand. By doing even the small things God has allowed you to do you could be reaching out to someone lost in the darkness and show them the light that sparks there faith.

Jeb

There are Those

2007-04-16T20:40:00.000-07:00

To the faculty, student-body, residents, and parents of Virginia Tech.....May God enter your hearts in this turbulent time....our prayers are with you.

My children I cannot tell you why the bad is done, but I will hold you close until the battle is won

There are those of you who live and wonder what is means to die

There are those of you who die because one chooses not to live

There are those of you who watch and wonder "Why not me?"

There are those of you who die and are silenced for the day

There are those of you who weep and pull your children near

There are those of you who cry at the emptiness you now feel

There are those of you who wonder how the pain will ever leave

There are those in this world who don't know how to live with love

....sigh....

I give you all I have and yet the sadness tends to grow

To the mothers and the fathers who feel this new found pain

Your children are safe and here they now belong......

The stains of death are gone and a new life they now embark

My children I cannot tell you why the bad is done, but I will hold you close until the battle is won.

To the families and people of Virginia Tech....God is there. Let Him hold you......sometimes it's the only thing that will keep you standing.

From the Halls of Kentucky III

2007-04-12T06:23:00.000-07:00

Hello all!! This continues our series titled "From the Halls of Kentucky". These are blogs written by some of my youth here in Florence, KY. I have some very talented writers in my group and feel that they should be featured every now and then. This one today is a wonderful piece written by a young woman named Sterling. It deals directly with the idea of equality and I love her frankness and insight. Enjoy!

EQUALITY

“After the game,the king and the pawn go into the same box...”

This has to be one of my favorite quotes. I don’t know if it has any other meaning to you or anyone else but to me its saying we should all should be treated with the same kindness and equality because believe it or not we have a lot in common... we all have the good times and the bad times with our family and friends. We’ve all felt as if we were on top of the world, and we have all felt as if we were in the pit of it. We all have reasons for living, and we all go through the happiness and joys, and the troubles and hectic situations that life brings to our front door. We laugh, we cry, we all experience feelings of jealousy, dislike, happiness and excitement. Yet, I've seen that not all of us are treated equality, some are shunned because of the clothes they wear or the people they hang out with, or how much money that their family has in the bank, people are even thought of as lower because of their likes and dislikes, if people believe something is different or strange they quickly try to get away from it or shun it because they don’t like it, or are even be scared of it. Unfortunately, this problem is not just towards the younger people, older people have this problem as well.

IT NEEDS TO STOP! People should embrace the differences between each other, because in the end I think we will all learn and get something out of it.

“After the game,the king and the pawn go into the same box...”

~*sterling*~

The Light Deep Within

2007-04-10T06:08:00.000-07:00

I can’t see the bright side of the moon tonight. The light was there last week and tonight it is gone. I walked out into the backyard and tried to find it, but it had disappeared. I had so wanted the light to be there, but for tonight it is not to be.

We all have these timelines in our heads that dictate the when and how’s of our lives. Starting in our childhood we are told that we need to have a plan and are bombarded with questions about the future and our place in it. We start to formulate our life map and set goals for ourselves. We imagine that we will have a job by 23, be married by 28, children by 32….the list is endless.

What’s the point?

You can try to control your life with all your might, and you will still wake up one morning with the monkey wrench of Life smacking you up side the head. I wanted children by age 28 and as I approach 33 there is still a deafening silence whenever the lights go out in my home. I don’t like it….in fact I hate it. I have tried to control this problem in every conceivable way. The only thing that I have to show for all of my efforts is a gravesite and a stronger relationship with my wife (and I treasure both with all my heart). The temptation to run out into the street and scream obscenities at God is overwhelming at times. I am tired, worn out, and would love for this merry go round to stop spinning for a little while. I look out at the world and see all of these people and wonder why it is so hard to have a child when it seems to so easy for everyone else.

When is it my turn? Will it ever be my turn?

The funny part is that most people try to tell me that this is God’s plan. That God must have a direction for me and that is why I have been denied the pleasure of raising a child. I am told that I must be patient and that I should enjoy each day for what it is: a gift from God.

I’ll be honest…if this is God’s plan then I don’t know if I really like this God very much. If God’s plan is to fill my heart with sadness, to keep my life in limbo, to constantly throw roadblocks in my way, and to deny my wife and I the joy of being parents……it doesn’t sound like much of a plan.

We’ve all been there haven’t we? We look out of our windows and wonder how the neighbors can afford such a nice car. We walk out of a building after being laid off and wonder how we are going to survive. We pay our bills and then stare at the checkbook wondering how we are going to feed the children. We sit down with friends and listen to their glorious stories of vacations, top-notch schools, corporate perks and stare meekly at our reflections wondering why it can’t be us. We see mothers out for nice walks and wonder why we must work while they get to spend time with their children. We sit outside and ponder the question of why the life we lead now is so vastly different than the one we dreamed of earlier.

We work hard, live a Christian life, love our families, support the community, and are only asking for a bone to be thrown our way now and then. We want to know if the good is going to stay and just how horrible the bad is going to be. We plead for God to allow the positives to become true and for the bad to stay away. We are living our lives for Him and in the back of our minds that means that we should get something in return.

The bottom line is that we don’t know. I cannot tell you why I must struggle to have a child. I can try to rationalize all of the different ways that I can change the progress of my life, but when it comes down to it…..

What’s the point.

I can try and help you to see why you are unemployed, in an unhappy relationship, constantly sick, battling depression, and a myriad of other afflictions. We can sit together and pore over the history of our lives and pinpoint the moments in which all went wrong. I can sit at a computer and put into words the confusion that wracks my brain, but in the end….

What’s the point.

The only thing that we can use to figure all of this out is: Faith. It is very easy to just throw our hands up in despair and give up…sometimes that seems to be the best way to solve all of the issues. I would like nothing more than to throw in the towel and walk away from all of this….there are times when it just hurts too much. The problem is that I have a belief in God and that belief inspires me to think that tomorrow must be different. That love for God puts me in a position of wanting to see what the plan is and why I’m in the place that I am. I can be filled with sorrow but underneath that pain lies a glimmer of hope. It is that hope that we must hang onto during the dark times of our lives. It is in that Hope that our dreams take root, our love manifests, and our friends congregate. That light must continue to shine and when we can’t seem to find our way home, we must use it to comfort our fears.

What’s the point?

The point is that our lives are all intertwined and things happen in our lives that are beyond our control. We can blame God for these things and maybe there is some truth in the accusation, but the light that burns deep inside all of us must never go out. We need that light for survival and many times it will be the only thing we have.

I can’t see the bright side of the moon tonight. The light was there last week and tonight it is gone. I walked out into the backyard and tried to find it, but it had disappeared. I had so wanted the light to be there but for tonight it is not to be.

I smile. For I know that even though I may not be able to see the light tonight, I know that the moon is still there. Like the love of my Father…..it will never leave.

Good night my angel……sleep tight.

Maybe in Three Days

2007-04-05T06:24:00.000-07:00

Can you imagine?

She was chosen. The birth was hard and done in a place that many wouldn't even dare to walk in. She was frightened by the words of murder and adultery. She endured the stares and the shaking of heads. She held her child close to her chest and fled from the threat of death and destruction. She returned years later and watched her son grow in ability and stature. She watched with proud trepidation as he began to change the world and taught about the One who chose her. She watched fearfully as the government began to gather on the outside circles, inching closer to her child. She cried as she watched her child's beaten body hang on the cross and cringed when the spear sunk deep into his skin. She wept when the last words were said.

Can you imagine?

He had a job. It was a job that many could not understand. He entered this world by way of a manger and immediately faced death. He buried his face in his mother’s garments and listened to the murmured conversations of fear that came from his parents. He spent his first years in hiding, always having to look over his shoulder, dealing with parents that wouldn't let him out of their sight. He knew the time was coming and when it did he walked head first into the river and encountered his Father. He loved to teach and enjoyed watching the eyes of those in the crowds. They always started off with a look of confusion, but by the end they carried away the look of love and faith. He loved that. He watched as the government began to circle and knew that it wouldn't be long. He saw the soldiers arrive and allowed the kiss of death to be given to him by his trusted friend. He endured the whip, took on the fists, and breathed deeply when the thorns pierced his skull. He screamed when the nails went in and struggled to breathe as he hung there on that dark afternoon. He tried in vain to smile at his mother; who watched with loud sobs echoing across the hillside. He breathed in and took the weight of the world upon his shoulders...and died.

Can you imagine?

He was the Creator. He loved this world so much that it pained Him to see all of the pain and suffering that was an integral part of each day. He struggled with how to solve this insurmountable problem and decided that He had no choice. He would send His son into the world and give a new commandment to His children. It was a gamble, but He had no other choice. His children had turned away from the purpose of this world and it was time to turn them back around. He chose a young woman that carried the strength and character needed for this mission and introduced Himself into the landscape. The spark was immediate and He watched with admiration and love as His son began to change the mindset. He chuckled when the people began to understand and smiled as the crowds grew. His children were listening and it made Him happy. He watched with sadness as the government began to circle and knew that the time was quickly approaching when He would have to sacrifice His own son. He shook his head when the betrayal occurred. He winced with every whip, stone, and fist. He cried out when the nails buried themselves into the skin and wept as the blood began to flow. He debated stopping the whole thing when He heard the cry, but the gentle hands of the angels kept Him at bay.

Can you imagine?

He looked out over the world and hoped that they understood...His child was dead...for them. Their sins were now forgiven.........all they have to do is believe.

He turned away and wondered aloud

“Will they understand?”

"Maybe in three days they will.............maybe in three days.” The angels responded.

From the Halls of Kentucky II

2007-04-03T06:43:00.000-07:00

I am continuing the featuring of some of the blog entries written by some of my youth. This one is from a young man named Justin and it deals with the idea that we all must compete in the "Beauty pageant of Life". It has some very poignant thoughts and should hit home for many people. It has been edited for some content.

LIFE

"You give them what they love. That's how it is everyday all over the world." -The Green Mile

This is a quote from the movie The Green Mile, and when I heard it, it really made me think and it hit home for me in a way. I thought it was very profound and truly relates to anyone and everyone.

Everyone, and I mean everyone, has done what this quote talks about before. Some may do it more than others, but everyone is guilty of it to an extent. If you are sitting there shaking your head and thinking to yourself that you've never done something just to please some one else, then you might as well just stop reading this.

It's the truth. It doesn't matter how often you do it. A lot of people do it just because it's in their nature. The types of people that do it simply to please others are nothing more that "people-pleasers". It’s not that it is a bad thing to be that type of person, but but if you spend your whole life trying to please everyone else, then you're going to end up miserable and unhappy. It is impossible to make everyone happy, so don't try so hard and do something for yourself every now and again. That is the only way to truly be happy.

The other group of people who are constantly trying to please others are doing it to gain acceptance from others, and if I can give these types of people any advice, it is to stop trying. You can't make everyone like you just by going along with what they say, and even if you could, what would be the point? If the people that you're trying to please do eventually accept "you", would you want them to? I put you in quotation marks because those people aren't really accepting the true you. They're accepting what they want you to be.
I just watched the movie Little Miss Sunshine today, and there's something in the movie that one of the character says that I totally agree with it....... (edited for language)

"Ya know what, forget the beauty contest. Life is one beauty contest after another. School, then college, then work; Forget that. And forget the Air Force Academy. If I wanna fly then I'll find a way to fly. You do what ya love, and Forget the rest." -Little Miss Sunshine

When I was watching this movie, and this character said that quote.. I fell in love with it. For me, that quote says it all. When it says that life is one big beauty contest, I couldn't agree with it more. Because life truly is a beauty pageant in a way. If you aren't like by people.. then you generally fail the beauty pageant known as life. But honestly what can anyone do to change that. That is how society has been from the beginning of time and that's how it will always be.
I also really love the last line of the above quote. That is one of the truest things I've heard in a long time. You have to do what you love, you have to. otherwise you might as well just give up on life. Because life is there for you to have fun. So do whatever you want every now and again and just block out all the other stuff, at least for a little bit. Because you can’t just turn your back on all the garbage in your life.. you will have to deal with it eventually, but every so often just take a break from it all.

So quit trying to impress other people so much, and just do what you love. And when life gets to heavy to deal with, then just take a break.

-Justin

The Stove

2007-03-28T21:27:00.001-07:00

“Ouch!”

The little boy jumped back shaking his hand in protest. He stared at the hot stove wondering why it had caused his hand to hurt. His head cocked to one side as he felt the pain sear through his palm. He glanced down and saw the redness begin to envelop his hand…and decided that it was time to call in reinforcements.

A blood-curdling scream erupted from his mouth and it echoed through the house. The tears came easily and the scream continued to increase in its intensity and duration. The boy threw himself to the ground and assumed the fetal positioned. He cried and waited for the footsteps to come running.

But nothing happened.

His hand was now in tremendous pain and the tears were running down his shirt like tiny streams. He began to convulse as he tried to catch his breath from the loud screams. He opened his eyes and waited for the comforting sight of his mother to come bounding into his sight.

But she never came.

“Mom!”

Nothing.

“Mommy!”

Silence.

“Mommy…help!!”

The house sucked up the cries like a sponge.

“Mommy…………are you here?” He whispered pleadingly.

He was hurt, alone, and he didn’t know what to do. The pain was tremendous and he was to young to understand……….he was……..helpless.

“Mommy…………”
_______________________________________________________

It is a common occurrence in our lives. We touch something that we think is safe and the next thing we know our bodies are wracked with pain. We stare incredulously at the source and try to comprehend why this part of life would hurt us so bad. The pain begins to spread and it knocks us to our knees and eventually we end up curled up in a ball wishing for the nightmare to end.

We cry out for help and assume that the people who have professed their loyalty to us will come running to our aid. We wait for their arrival and are shocked when the realization hits that they have turned the other way. All of those good days and now when the bad one hits we are left to fend for ourselves. We wipe the tears from our eyes and scream out into the abyss hoping that someone hears our anguish…..and all we get back is the echo of our own sadness.

Your life took a turn and everyone else just kept going straight.

There is nothing worse than the silence of the expected. We bank our choices in life based on the knowledge that there is a support system underneath us. When that support disappears we feel alone, scared, and unable to move forward. Like a child wanting his mother we cry out for help and wait for the pain to subside.

“Come to me, all you that are weary and are carrying heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me; for I am gentle and humble in heart and you will find rest for your souls.” Matthew 11: 28 – 29

This verse is one of my favorites. My wife introduced it to me and I have used it many times during my lifetime. It tells of a God that is willing to take the weight of grief, anger, and tension off of our shoulders and help us continue on in our life. When we are burned by life and feel as if everyone has left the building it is comforting to know that we have a God who will always come running.

You are never alone and even though you may not hear His footsteps if you look close enough you can see His presence everywhere.

Even in the silence.

A treat...

2007-03-27T15:46:00.000-07:00

I enjoy writing.

It enables me to get out my thoughts and also to try and help others. I am very lucky to be surrounded by a bunch of talented youth who possess the ability to write and inspire as well. I am going to start featuring their writings in between the ones written by me so that all of you may draw from their experiences. This first one is by a girl named Sammy and she is very gifted in her delivery as well as in her ability to paint a picture with words. Enjoy.

Growing Up

"There is nothing like returning to a place that remains unchanged to find the ways in which you yourself have altered" ~ Nelson Mandela

I walked into my middle school the other day and took a deep breath. The scent of the halls was familiar and strangely comforting. As I pulled my hand through my wind-blown hair, I walked into the newly arranged cafeteria. Other than the disappearance of a few tables, it hadn't changed at all. My sneakers squeaked beneath me; they were getting annoying. Everything seemed ..... little. The lockers, the length of the hallways....everything. The banners, signs, and bulletin boards all seemed so juvenile. My annoying sneakers teased me for returning back to my old school as I walked down the hallway towards my favorite science teacher's classroom. I walked through the door, and he glanced up from his computer. He looked for a second, assessing me as if he was confused, and then the same old grin appeared. "Sammy!" he said as he untucked his freakishly long legs from under the computer desk. Nope, he hadn't changed. Still the same funny guy that loved to listen to me talk. Before leaving his room, he gave me a hug and smiled, saying, "You certainly have changed".

It's an amazing feeling, because you get a new understanding for yourself beyond just the obvious physical changes you've gone through (which includes several hair color changes for me). You get those memories of good (and bad) past times and feelings. You get to thinking about how you viewed certain things, and how you think about them now. All in all, you really get to see yourself through the looking glass.

Don't be afraid to go back. Going back is the best way to understand how you got where you are.

Sammy

Moments

2007-03-21T20:31:00.000-07:00

There are very few moments in life that will define who and what we are. Most of our time is spent just trying to get from one great moment to the next. We have one good day and then spend the rest of our life trying to recreate that moment. There are moments of happiness and unfortunately those moments of joy are joined with moments of despair....that is life.

We are alive and therefore we must live.

For the moment......because the next moment may be our last.

Moments.

Each day we wake up and look at our reflections. The person staring back at us carries the weight of our decisions and tends to hide the tension behind a mask of frailty. We tell ourselves that we will not make the same mistakes as the day before and open the door determined to leave the moments of the past behind. The door closes and we are thrust into the world, like a skydiver we hope that we've packed our parachute correctly, for we know that a moment is coming in which we are going to need it. We know this because our minds don't let us forget the last time we needed to pull the cord and float to safety.

Why can't we forget the moments?

We all have them. Those experiences in which we either did or said something that was wrong and hurtful. They can range from the trivial side comment to that tragic decision that sent our lives spiraling out of control. They cause us so much pain that we try desperately to bury them in our subconscious only letting them out when something triggers the memory. These moments in our lives control our actions, limit our decision making, shape our thoughts, and dictate our relationships. That one day, that brief conversation, that quick decision....that moment....it makes us who we are.

Moments.

People will tell you that the appropriate way to get your life back is to turn these moments over to God. They will tell you that all one needs to do is say a serious prayer and ask for the pain to be taken from you. They will quote scripture and point out that true Christians give their troubles to God and then are able to lead a life free of pain.

The problem is that our brains tend to not believe in what we cannot see. How many times have you tried to rid your life of those moments? The prayer is said and you head out into the world convinced that your life will be different and then it happens........

The moment starts to creep back in. It starts out in a subtle manner, like the beginning of a migraine. The thoughts start entering your mind again, the video spools up and the pictures begin to flash, the sounds and smells gently swing back into place. You shake your head and try to get rid of the cancer, but the moment is too strong.

So you give up. The moment has won and you wonder whether God actually heard your prayer. We try to rationalize our pain as being given to us by God in order to remind us of the mistakes we have made. We have sinned and our personal hell has been set. These moments will never leave and we better get used to them.

I refuse. I don't want to get used to it. I don't want my pain staring at me in the face each day. I lived long enough with those thoughts and it is time for them to leave. This personal hell has grown old and I want out. I want someone to answer my prayers!

I want some new moments.

The problem does not lie in the arms of God, and the issue is not whether or not God has heard our prayers. The problem lies within our hearts. The issue is about whether or not we have the capacity to believe that God would actually forgive our darkest sins.

It doesn't make sense that one could go out and sin to the degrees that all of us do and then have those sins erased with a simple prayer. That isn't how we live down here on earth and we can't readily wrap our arms around the idea that God would do that for us. Even though we ask for forgiveness we don't truly believe that our sins are erased.....so we hang on to them. We try to give them away but then put them back in our pockets at the last minute. These moments which have shaped our lives have become a crutch and we need them to hold us up.

Want to know a secret?

God has already wiped the slate clean. He heard the prayer and like the loving Father that He is...He forgave us. There was no dramatic entrance, no clap of thunder, no flickering of the lights, and no great speech. He just forgave us...no questions asked. That is the beauty of our relationship with God. It is a parental set up in which mistakes are made, admissions noted, corrections started, and do-overs are allowed. He is a loving God who will do whatever needs to be done to help and support. We just have to believe.

Do not underestimate the gift of Jesus Christ and the present that was given to us on the cross. When it is said that Jesus Christ was sent to die for our sins.....believe it. He was sent to die for you and that is a gift that just keeps on giving.

Have faith my friends. Give those moments of pain to God and do so with the knowledge that He has taken them from you.

Let go of the moments so you can live for the moment.

Amen.

The Text Message

2007-03-19T22:30:00.000-07:00

I wrote this piece for Faithwriters Magazine and it will be appearing in their April issue. It deals with a teenage issue but we can all substitute something from our own lives into the story. The bottom line is that we are going to make mistakes and no matter how big or how small....we are forgiven.....this is an important reminder as we draw closer to Easter. Enjoy.

"I can't believe I did that."

She sat on the side of her bed staring at the clock which glowed a green "1am."

"Why in the world did I not just walk away."

She ran her hands absent-mindedly over the bedspread and allowed the familiar texture to calm her rattled nerves.

"I'm dead. My friends are going to have a field day with this one and if my parents ever find out......well I guess college was never that important anyway."

She closed her eyes and the memories of the evening came flooding back. It started off as an invitation to a party, which then turned into the opportunity for a chance meeting with Matt, which then gave way to that stupid red drink that everyone was drinking, and then came the cigarettes.....

She glanced around her room and saw the pictures, posters, stuffed animals, and all of the other things that described who she was. The dance recital ribbon from when she was five, the tickets from that great concert last year, her Nancy Drew collection that her grandmother had given her, the picture of Matt and her at last years picnic......

Matt....

She took a deep breath and slowly got up and walked over to the mirror. She stared intently at the person looking back at her and noticed that there was a tear falling from her left eye. She watched it slowly caress her cheek, ease over the line of her jaw, and then fall with a silent protest onto the dresser below. She knew that it was the first of many tears she would shed over this experience and she was strangely awed at having seen the emergence of her grief.

She knew that the drinking was wrong, and she knew that the smoking had been a mistake, but it was the time she spent with Matt afterwards that was killing her. They both just got caught up in the moment and before she knew it they were in a bedroom........everything happened so fast......and then it was gone.......forever.

The tears were falling faster now and they created two streams down the sides of her cheeks. Her shoulders began to heave and she felt her stomach twist into a knot. She grabbed the trashcan in case she got sick and just let the sadness envelope her. This had not been part of the plan and the idea that she would never have that moment back was too much for her.

Matt had driven her home from the party and they had barely spoken. She noticed that he looked upset and when he kissed her goodnight there had been tears in his eyes. They had known each other for years and this was something completely out of character for both of them. He tried to force a smile as she got out of the car but it just came out like an awkward frown. As he pulled away she noticed him wipe his eyes with his right hand. They had both lost something that night and the shame was overwhelming....

She turned back towards her bed and leaned against the dresser with a sigh. Her eyes landed on a dress, which was wrapped in the familiar dry cleaner plastic. She cocked her head to one side as she tried to remember why that dress had been put out. She walked over to it and saw that it was the Easter dress they had bought the weekend before........

Easter....

Her knees buckled as the realization of what this day was hit her. She glared at the clock and saw the green "1:15 am" and right below it was the date "04/08/2007". She sank to the floor with the weight of grief, shame, sadness, and embarrassment pushing her down. In a couple of hours she was going to have to put on the dress, accompany her family to church, and celebrate one of the holiest holidays with the knowledge of last night fresh on her mind. What was worse is that Matt would probably be there as well....how would she look at him?

"pray.....pray....pray....pray...."

The voice started out quietly but it quickly filled her head.

"pray.....pray.....pray.....pray....."

She stood up, whirled around, and looked in the mirror. Her cheeks were stained and her eyes were puffy from crying.

"pray.....pray.....pray.....pray....."

She backed up slowly and eased her way back to the ground. Her knees touched the
carpet and she felt her eyes close and her hands intertwine....

"pray.....pray.....pray......pray....."

She began to talk to God. She told Him about the evening, her sadness, her embarrassment, her confusion, her nerves......it all just came pouring out. She prayed for Matt and asked that God enter his life and give him the knowledge and comfort that was needed. She then paused and asked with a quivering voice for His forgiveness and to please lead her and guide her through this emotional time. She asked for His love and thanked Him for all that He has given and done for her.

She slowly opened her eyes and raised her body from the prone position that she found herself in. The room was quiet......as if the walls were giving her a moment to herself. She just sat there on the floor and allowed the peace and quiet to wash over her and begin the healing process.

The distant hum of her cell phone startled her and she quickly retrieved it from her purse. It was a text message from Matt...

"Happy Easter."

She stared at the small screen, not sure how to respond. Then a small smile creeped across her face and she began to type...

"He is risen."

She hit the send button and waited for the response. A minute later the phone buzzed in her hand and she looked down...

"He is risen indeed.....hallelujah!"

Her face broke into a huge smile and suddenly the phone buzzed again...

"PS...thanks for the prayer"

When the Dreams Stop

2007-03-15T06:26:00.000-07:00

Have you ever woken up one morning and looked around at your surroundings and wondered how in the world you got there? The bed is yours, the room looks familiar, the sounds are the same, but yet it looks artificial. These are the moments in which we tend to look inward at our own lives and take inventory at what they have become. Our lives tend to accelerate at such a fast pace that it is all we can do to just hang on. We get jobs, pay bills, have relationships, give birth, go on vacations....and the list goes on.

When we are children we are always asked, "What do you want to be when you grow up?".
We look back at the well-meaning adults and give them what our hearts desire...whatever it might be. The adults nod their heads in approvement and say with great authority, "Follow your dreams and never give up!" The children run away with the new found knowledge that this world is theirs for the taking and as long as they dream they'll be fine.

What happens when we stop dreaming?

What do we do when our lives become so hectic and crazy that we cease dreaming of what could be and settle for what has been? How do we compensate for a world that is in a constant state of movement and that has taken away the component of thinking outside the box? Where do we turn when everything that we look at is ushering us to keep moving, don't stop, run, go....go!!

What has happened to the word "Could".

There comes a point in all of our lives in which we cease striving for the future and become content on dealing with the past. We find ourselves locked inside our little boxes, where the pursuance of a dream becomes impossible and the idea of changing becomes frightening. Our desires are superseded by those of the outside world and we settle into the normalcy of living. The dreams of yesterday fade into the reality of today.

What if you were given the opportunity to dream again? What if there was a way to take those thoughts of the past and thrust them into the future? What if there was a key which would unlock that box you are in and set you free?

Let me introduce you to "Faith".

It is a word that we hear often and one that we use little. It is a powerful word that if used right can deliver a myriad of wonderful scenarios to your life. Without it we are relegated to a world of pessimism and ignorance.

One of the most powerful tools we have is the ability to dream and seek the goals of tomorrow. The hard part is including God in those dreams. We are taught that God is too busy to hear our frivolous ideas and we should just keep them to ourselves. I don't believe that. I believe that God loves us so much that there is nothing that He would love more than to hear what we desire to achieve. I think He is thrilled when we look to Him for guidance and support. I believe that dreams are a direct link to the wonderful world that God has provided for us. He is not content with watching His children live a life of static and boredom. He has given us the capacity to think, move, challenge, excite, and change. Those thoughts in your brain are there for a reason and if they can make this world a better place do we not owe it to God to try?

We must have Faith in what God wants us to do.

If the life you lead is beginning to look artificial and your dreams have been relegated to the back room of your brain......it is time to change. This life is a gift and we have only so much time here. Unpack those dreams, pray for guidance, and let's see whether or not you have something that just might make all of our lives a little easier. God gave you talents.....make sure that you use them.

Go with God.

Have Faith in God.

Dream with God.

A Request

2007-03-13T08:02:00.000-07:00

I don't normally do this, but I had a request to put this specific devotion back on the front page. This is one that seems to get a lot of attention and many people and websites have used it. I am a believer in timing.....so maybe there are some of you out there that need this today. Enjoy.

Get Out Into the Wilderness

"Why do we insist on making sure that we are never alone?

Why do we break up with someone that we know is bad for us and then go right back to them just so we can feel "together"? Why do people settle for "good" when if they were patient, "great" would surely come along? It isn't a bad thing to go back to "comfortable", but why settle for it? Why do we hate being alone?

I think it is because we are human. I think from the beginning of time we have been wired to want to be with other people. We are a social bunch and there is nothing that we like more than being around other people that compliment our strengths and weaknesses. When you ask people what their biggest fear is, many will answer "being alone" or "dying alone". That deep rooted fear drives many of our actions in the relationship department. When I counsel women and men in regards to relationships I am always amazed that they are more than willing to stay with people that they know are not good for them....for the sole purpose of not being alone. That is a pretty strong statement when you think about it. We would rather have less of a life and be with someone, than be alone for a little while and most likely have a better quality of life.

Loneliness is a powerful emotion isn't it? Let's look at this from another direction though. What if we need to be lonely in order to figure out what we truly want. What if the time we spend with ourselves is vital to the finding of that person who is going to make us truly happy. How can we as humans know what we want from other people if we don't even understand who we are? If I don't know my own strengths, weaknesses, desires, and fears......how am I going to be able to find a person who compliments me?

Look at what God did to Jesus. He sends him out to the wilderness for 40 days and basically throws everything but the kitchen sink at him. When we read the story there is a quick acknowledgement that 40 days is a long time and it must have been hard for Jesus to stay focused. Think about it for a moment. 40 days would be starting on October 1st and then being alone with no human contact until November 9th. I personally think it would be very hard to do. I find it interesting that God sends Jesus out on this assignment early on in his ministry...and it was done to teach and help Jesus grow as a person. Being alone for a while is not a bad thing. In fact, it can actually benefit you in the long run.

I know that there are some of you out there who are terrified of being lonely. I know that there are some of you that think that the person you are with is the only person who will ever actually love you. I know that there are those of you who are convinced that love is not something that truly exists so you better just hang on to what you got.

Don't settle for second best. Don't go through life afraid to see what God has in store for you. Don't be afraid to be alone for a little while. Enjoy the moments that you have with yourself and figure out what type of person God wants you to be. There are people out there who are just waiting to have you walk into their lives.

Get out into the wilderness and see what you are made of.....you just might be surprised at who is wandering through the woods with you.

Sometimes you need to be alone in order to end up together."

The Joy of a Child

2007-03-08T05:38:00.000-08:00

The joy of being a child.

This is my niece Celly and I had the opportunity to visit with her not to long ago. She is an outstanding individual who has a demeanor of love, happiness, and awe. This is a direct tribute to her parents and the wonderful job that they are doing. During this last visit I brought our camera and spent a lot of the visit taking various pictures of Celly just being herself. She has a free spirit about her and an imagination that runs rampant. There are moments when you can literally see her looking at the world through a filter of joy and wonder. It is fun to watch and there are times when one can become jealous of this period of her life.

In this picture Celly was pretending to fly. She was running around in circles, flapping her arms, with a huge smile and a little travel purse at her side. She just kept going and going oblivious to her surroundings. It is a picture that I love and it tells volumes of the joyous nature that a child has when she is loved unconditionally.

What you don't get a sense of is the fact that there were six adults all seated in a comfortable but protective circle around her. She was free to do as she pleased, but if she were to fall, get hurt, start to cry, or become scared we were all there to provide comfort or a soothing voice. I believe the knowledge that she had a support system around her allowed her to let go of any inhibitions and to explore whatever her mind threw at her.

It is a wonderful way to live.

We have the same deal available to us. When we enter into a strong, faithful relationship with God we are given the same gifts. As our love for God grows and we become believers in this world that we live in, our eyes are opened. When we are able to see God for the true Father that He is, than we become increasingly aware of His presence in our lives. We begin to see that He is always present and not an entity that swings in from the heavens only when we call. We begin to feel His love in everything that we do and the realization that it will never go away is life changing.

We all have the capacity to open our arms and try to fly. We all have the ability to get out into the world and try things that maybe scare us. This life is not about being confined to a box and trying to not screw up. There is much more to our existence than what we see outside the window.

We should all strive to be like Celly. With God's love and support surrounding us we should all put on our travel purses and begin to flap our arms. Where do we want to go? What do we want to do? How do we want to get there? What is out there that we are supposed to see?

Flap away my friends....God will always pick you up if you fall....so flap and see where this world takes you.

Thanks Celly.

Welcome to the Crossroad

2007-03-05T20:12:00.000-08:00

What was your moment?

We have all been faced with hard decisions. Choices that will forever shape our future and we know it. We stand at the proverbial crossroad and look to the left and then over to the right. We know that this is something that will affect us for the rest of our lives and we are afraid of making a mistake.

So we freeze.

The decision has to be made, but we are so paralyzed by the fear of the unknown that it is easier to just ignore the pressing problem and save it for tomorrow. Maybe we know someone who has been at these crossroads in the past and it didn't end well for them. The knowledge that failure is a possibility creeps into our hearts and urges us to not make any rash decisions.

So you sit.

Maybe there is a conflict. Maybe you want to go to the right but your partner wants to go to the left. Maybe there have been arguments, fights, and tears in regards to what direction needs to be taken. Maybe.....maybe this decision is about the other person and they don't even know it.

So you wait.

Does this decision involve a disease, a drug, a drink, or an addictive situation? Is the demon in one direction and the answer to the other? Does the demon look more inviting? Does the voice in your head override the one talking to you from your heart? Does this whole thing make you want to scream? The choice is there but you are incapable of making the right one?

So you cry.

Maybe you are tired of having to make choices? Maybe you wish that someone would just make it for you and relieve you of having to be accountable for whatever may happen? Maybe you feel that no matter what decision you make it will be the wrong one? Maybe you have been burned so many times that the crossroad has become a barrier rather than an opportunity?

So you turn your back.

Is this decision one of life and death? Are you looking to the left and seeing the relief of darkness and looking to the right and seeing the horror of living? Has this life become so dismal that you have arrived at the final crossroad and are ready to throw in the towel? Has this life beaten you? Is this it?

So you give up.

Please listen to me and understand that we have all been there. Have you ever looked deep into someone's eyes and saw the pain that lies behind the lens? We are all very good at walking through this world as if we all have a strong grip on this thing called life. If you ask us how our lives are we will inevitably answer with words like: "Fine!", "Great!", "Couldn't be better!". The reality is that we all carry baggage and it can get heavy sometimes. Those decisions that affect our lives become extra pieces of luggage and sometimes it just becomes to much to carry. We stand at the crossroad, alone, sad, and hunched over with the weight of our lives on our backs. We glance to the left and then back to the right. We want so badly to make the right choice that tears well up in our eyes.

So we pray.

We pray that God would take this weight from our shoulders and wipe away the stress from our hearts. We pray that we choose the direction that will bring us closer to our Father. We pray for a guiding hand and a soothing voice. We pray that this Life becomes something filled with meaning and truth. We pray for forgiveness and the ability to enter the hearts of the ones we love. We pray for help. We pray for life.

What was your moment? What was the moment in which God entered your life and told you that all would be okay? When was the time in which your heart nearly burst with the love and compassion that can only be given to us by our Father?

Welcome to the crossroad. Say a prayer and make a choice.....

Amen.

Upon Your Arms

2007-02-28T20:50:00.000-08:00

The Cross

When my shoulders are heavy

When my eyes are wet

When the anger wells

When the hope is lost

When my sins overtake me

When the darkness overcomes me

When my heart breaks

When I am weak

When I can't seem to find the answer

When I can't find my way Home

I am reminded of the gift that was given upon your arms

The Cross

Take Off the Blinders

2007-02-26T21:34:00.000-08:00

There are times when we just don't want to be happy.

It is one of the profound dangers in writing bi-weekly devotions. In your heart you feel that you should always provide an uplifting message and make people feel as if this world isn't as bad as they think it might be. What do you do when that belief is shaken and the only thing you feel is anger and disappointment? Do you sit at the computer and write lies or do you venture out and give the truth?

I choose truth.

There are people in this world that just don't get it. They live with their heads either buried in the sand or floating up in the clouds. There is no reality in their lives, only an imagined world in which money is free flowing, food is abounding, and illness is merely a cold or a headache. They get up in the morning with blinders on and move through their life only looking at those people who come into their immediate sight line. There is a complete disconnect on what is actually going on around them, and as long as they aren't directly affected then their lives are "perfect".

How does this happen? When did we become so cold to our surroundings that we choose to do nothing rather than something? I am being honest when I say that I am sick of being out in public and having to watch people completely ignore those who are in need. I am talking about the subtle pieces of human kindness and how we seem to have forgotten what it means to care. I am tired of seeing people walk by others who have fallen or need help getting through a door. I am frustrated about the number of individuals who find it necessary to carry on cell phone conversations at noise decibels louder than that of an airplane. I long for the words "please" and "thank you" or "hello" and "how are you?". I would give anything for a kind smile, a small wave, a wink of the eye, and a pat on the shoulder. Why are we so scared of allowing others into our personal bubbles? When did we become an isolationist society that would rather have a text conversation rather than a long talk over a cup of coffee or a cold beer?

Will somebody please stand up and say something?

I know that there are those of you who will make the argument that this is typical of an evolving society. That as technology grows so does the human interactive function. The argument will be made that due to these great advancements in communication (which I take full of advantage of) we are actually able to shrink this world into a manageable entity and one that respects and honors each other.

I cannot argue with those stances and in many ways they are right, but I am still concerned about the group. We tend to spend more time by ourselves because of how much communication can be done from the palms of our hands. The longer we spend by ourselves the easier it is to apply those blinders and block out the large society from our vision. If they are not part of our "network" than why bother with them at all?

If your sister called and said that they needed to talk to you right away...would you? If your sibling fell off a curve and began to cry...would you offer assistance? If your brother was standing on the side of the road and begging for food...would you feed him? What would have to happen in order for you to sacrifice your own wealth for that of someone else's?

This is not our world. It does not belong to us and we do not hold majority ownership of it. We are guests here and even more important is the fact that we are also a family. I am your brother and you are my sister or brother as well. God has given us a wonderful opportunity in which we have the ability to live in a world filled with people who all have the same Father. With that thought in mind let's try this paragraph again:

"If your sister called and said that they needed to talk to you right away...would you? If your sibling fell off a curve and began to cry...would you offer assistance? If your brother was standing on the side of the road and begging for food...would you feed him? What would have to happen in order for you to sacrifice your own wealth for that of someone else's?"

Folks, it is time to take off the blinders. It is time to expand our networks, increase our "friend" count, and make additions to our "contact" numbers. It is time for all of us to begin to look at this world in the manner of, "What can I do for someonelse?" rather than "What can I do for myself". Make this world worth the sacrifice that Jesus made when he died upon the cross and enjoy the world with the same smile that you have when Easter Sunday rolls around.

This is God's world and therefore we should treat others just like we would treat our siblings:

With Love.

The Fingers of Humanity

2007-02-21T20:09:00.000-08:00

“Guilty!”

The fingers of human kind are an active bunch. We love pointing out the mistakes of others and then hiding our own. We turn on the news and sit with a sense of awe as we hear the mistakes of our fellow humans play out in front of us. We shake our heads and comment on how stupid this world is. We stare in disbelief as the world implodes with acts of violence, robbery, sexual crimes, and a laundry list of other problems. We grab our children and run, as this world becomes a zone of danger rather than a home of peace.

We go to church and listen to pastors preach about the need to repent, forgive, and treat each other as we would want to be treated. It sounds like a simple plan but when put into motion it quickly becomes apparent that this is not an easy task. There is too much anger, to much hatred, to much sadness….how can we even make a dent into the quagmire that has become the human race.

Maybe we should change the direction of our fingers.

We spend so much time pointing out the mistakes of others that we often forget that we ourselves are sinners. As a human race we love to categorize the sins that we commit and as long as we don’t touch the ones that society has deemed to be unacceptable we are fine. We separate ourselves into “good Christians” and “bad Christians”. We look around the world and associate ourselves with the people on the right side of the fence and then look with disdain on those who fall onto the wrong side. We beam with pride at our life of so called perfection and turn our backs on those whose lives have taken a turn for the worse. We unwittingly contribute to the pain of this world by ignoring the plight of others and banishing those who have done wrong. We are no better than the people who have made mistakes….for we all make them.

The season of Lent has begun and I urge all of us to change the direction of our accusations.

We all are guilty. We all are sinners. We all do not measure up. We all need help.

Unlike in a court of law…being guilty in God’s world does not banish you to a life of steel bars and darkness. We have a God that loves us so much that He actually sent His son to earth and then did the unthinkable…..

He took all of our sins and put them on a cross….and died…..and then rose….taking those imperfections to heaven. We are loved….truly I tell you….we are loved.

We are guilty…………We are forgiven…….

Welcome to the Lenten season.

Wham!

2007-02-19T20:21:00.000-08:00

"Get up!"

I didn't move.

"I said....GET UP!"

I carefully moved all of my limbs and made sure that nothing was hurt. The scrapes on my elbows would heal, but I was on the verge of having my ego severely damaged.

"GET UP! WE ARE GOING TO END THIS NOW!" The 7 foot giant screamed.

I looked up at this man I had unwittingly made angry and then glanced around at my fellow athletes. They just stared at me...I wasn't going to get any help with this one. I slowly stood up and turned to face my adversary.

WHAM! Back to the ground I went with the imprint of a very large fist on the side of my face. I landed on my back this time and decided that I would stay there for a little while.

"GET UP!"

I thought that maybe I could reason with the man from my safe position on the ground. There was no way I was going to be able to get a punch in and to be honest I was seeing two of him at this point and probably would miss if I tried.

"I didn't mean to foul you that hard (there was my first lie)...it was a mistake (there's the second one)...I am truly sorry (three for three)."

"GET UP!"

I once again looked at all of my teammates and they had decided that this was highly amusing. Here was a 25 year old man being pummeled by a 4o year old giant on a playground basketball court. I had intentionally fouled the man because he had shoved me earlier in the game. I would have gone and told the recess teacher but she had left about fifteen years earlier. It felt good when I fouled.....mugged.....him, but I was now paying for my immaturity.

"Listen...I'm sorry...it was a stupid move." I said this while trying to figure out the best route to the emergency room and trying to recall if I truly had clean underwear on.

"I don't care...get up." The man said with a tone of defiance.

I slowly got back to my feet and prepared to have my nose take up a new residence on the back of my head. I raised my eyes to his and saw a look of anger. He stared back at me with his fists clenched and for a brief moment I thought that I should try and take a swing but then thought better of it.

We just stared at each other in silence and as we did I saw the look of anger slowly subside. His eyes softened and I glanced down to see his fists unclench with a quick flick of the wrist. He slowly shook his head and then turned and walked away. He grabbed a water bottle, sat down, and slowly drank the life giving liquid. After a long pause he got back up and trotted out to the court where the rest of his team had gathered. My teammates came over to me and gave me some choice words many of which I can't repeat here. I rubbed my face and made sure that all of the bones were still intact and then headed back down the court.

I went and stood next to the 7 ft giant and prepared to guard him. There was no talking but as the ball was thrown into play I saw his hand come out in a welcoming gesture. I grasped it and with a quick squeeze all was forgiven, the game went on and we all enjoyed ourselves for a moment.

There are so many battles that are fought each day in this world. They range from local squabbles to world wide wars. There are instigators and there are victims. There are the angry and there are the sad. There are those who will fight and there are those who will sit on the ground and try to talk it out. These battles damage families, friendships, countries, and a host of other entities. People want to believe that they are in the right but if we don't recognize that being in the right is not the same as being in the know.......we are all in trouble.

What conflicts are you in right now? Are there battles that are being waged in your life? Are there people who you have banished because of a disagreement or an argument? Are there old friends that no longer have your trust? Have you offered a gentle hand or do you only give the cold shoulder?

Let the conflict be a source of education and offer the hand of forgiveness. God offers it to you and we should learn from our Father and do the same for others.

Involve God and life gets a little simpler......

The Mirror

2007-02-14T22:58:00.000-08:00

To the man in the mirror

You look tired.....try sleeping.
I am sorry that I have not done everything that you asked me to do....I'll try harder....I promise.
Remember the day that I told you that the spiked hair cut looked good? I lied.
I love your wife.......is that wrong?
All of the times that I have just stared at you for no reason....thank you for looking back.
I know that the grey hair may look weird...but they tell some great stories.
When she died...those tears were mine to.
That day when I kept telling you to ask her...who would have thought we would be together 14 years later.
I think God did a good job.
You're not perfect.
You should try smiling more...really.
Thank you for putting up with all of the gel and hairspray....especially during the 80's.
When I spent that one night wondering if God was real...thank you for showing me that He was.
Sorry about the parachute pants.
When you cry....it makes me cry.
I know that the Motley Crue month was bad, but thanks for dancing with me.
Thank you for showing me what it means to be humble and how to live a life that has meaning.
God? Are you there?
You should try smiling more...really.

To the man in the mirror. God created you and has given you all that is needed to survive. Don't spend so much time looking at me! Get out into the world and show others who is in their mirror, they just might be surprised who is looking back at them.

Who is in your mirror? Do you know who is staring back at you?

God does.

The Voice in His Head

2007-02-13T07:18:00.000-08:00

There once was a man who never believed.

The world was simple in his eyes and he moved through his life without a care.

He saw births, deaths, arguments, and discussions. He kissed the woman of his dreams and held his son close to his chest. He spoke at funerals, hugged at weddings, and smiled at birthdays. The earth was his playground and he saw many different places around this planet. His friends toasted him, his employees loved him, and his bosses raved about him. He had everything and that made him happy.

He stepped outside one Sunday and decided that his life was perfect. He glanced at his house, three cars, perfect lawn, tree lined street.....and smiled. He heard a beep and saw his neighbors pulling out of the driveway on their way to church. He politely waved and then shook his head in disbelief after they were out of view. The idea of going to church just didn't seem to make any sense. He had never gone a day in his life and look at what he had! He had the American dream, people envied him, he was what success should be. This wasn't because of God...no...he had worked hard with his own two hands. God had nothing to do with it...because there was no God. There was no higher power...there was just him and this world that he wanted to conquer.

Except for the voice. He could never shake the voice.

This voice had been with him ever since he could remember. It would tell him what things were bad, what things were good, who needed help, and who needed to be comforted. It had kept him out of trouble and had also given him advice when a difficult decision had to be made. He had come to rely on this voice and felt that it was an important part of why he had become so successful. It always seemed to be level-headed and never shouted in anger. There were even times when he swore that he heard it say things like, "I love you", "You're forgiven", and "Good job". He loved this voice and figured that it was just a stream of his conscience and that it was there to keep him honest.

He turned to go back inside and said out loud, "What a great day to be alive!".

The voice in his head replied, "You're welcome".

There once was a man who never believed in God, but there is a God who will always believe in him.

--------------------------------------------------

Listen to the Voice.

A Saturday Well Spent

2007-02-07T20:55:00.000-08:00

This past Saturday I spent the morning speaking with students from Wittenburg University about a variety of topics. I had a great time and was thoroughly impressed with their kindness, theological insight, and ability to care for one another. It was refreshing to see people from all different walks of life gather together and study the various ways that we all come to the conclusion that God does indeed love us.

I am always amazed at the vast diversity that our Father's world has. The numerous talents, abilities, temperaments, and personalities create this amazing web of love and understanding. In this one circle of college students we had funny people, serious people, shy people, athletic people, young people and old people. There were those who had experienced great heartache and others that still held the look of innocence in their eyes. I saw smiles, tears, frowns, wrinkles, crinkles, and heard a lot of laughter. I listened to stories about saltine crackers, firemen outfits, boyfriends, girlfriends, back surgeries, parents dying, and a great story about a little girl and her horse.

Each person had the same quality of kindness but each had their own unique smile.

This is not by accident. God did not just sprinkle the world with various people and then lean back to watch with amusement as we struggle to figure out the various relationships that we become entangled in. God knows what He is doing and is very deliberate into where His people are sent in their lives.

We are created in God's image and yet we all look different? How is that possible? How am I to sit in a circle of intelligent college students and prove that we all indeed "look" like God?

The answer?

Sit in a circle of college students and look around.

God is the shy one, the happy one, the sad one, the funny one, and the serious one. He can tell a great story and at the same time be serene to the point of boredom. He loves a night of sledding and then has no problem sitting in an easy chair and reading all night. He loves a good party and then has no problem going for a quiet walk before sunset. We are created in God's image and therefore our talents are God's talents.

We all spend so much time trying to "find" Go,d when in reality He spends a lot of time right under our noses. He is not an enigma who conceals himself with a cloak of secrecy...no...He is right out in the open. He is real.

When you go out into the world look for those who God has sent to be with you. When you clap your hands in appreciation for a job well done, when you shake someone's hand in thanks, when a shoulder is given for a good cry, and when laughter fills your head after a long night of anxiety. When a wink is given, a smile is flashed, and a good story is told.......

Make sure to say hello to God.

He's there.

The Touch of a Father

2007-02-05T20:39:00.000-08:00

What is it about this world that we live in? What makes us cry, what comforts us, what makes us smile? When we get up in the morning....where are we going? The children are screaming, the clock is ticking, the world is spinning, and we try desperately to survive to the next day. The demands on us are huge. We must provide for families, pay bills, buy food, fill the gas tank, exercise, eat, sleep...and that is only the morning! It is so easy to get so wrapped up into our own lives that we forget that we are not alone. Look out your window on any given morning and you will see mirror images of your life. We are a species built for survival and each day we attempt to succeed once again.

I was driving to the church the other morning and decided that I would look into the cars of all of those traveling with me. I saw a man singing, a woman sleeping, a child smiling, a teenager crying, and a dog enjoying the fresh air. I observed people talking, fighting, eating, and some doing nothing at all. I don't know where they were going but we all woke up that morning, put on our clothes, and decided to try and survive one more time.

There are times when the last thing we want to do is open the door and try again. It is very easy to turn back to the warmth of your home and decide that it is just safer not to move any more. It is quite common to think that our lives have become a comedy of errors and we are sick of being the laughing stock of this fickle world. I know the feeling of looking into the mirror and wondering why this world doesn't just get easier for a little bit. We peer out into the streets and see all of these people enjoying life and savoring the experiences that we want to partake in. We run back to the mirror and scream, "When is it my turn!". We fall silent and wait for the answer....and are greeted with the silence of the confused.

Yes....this world can be a cruel place and each day we battle to survive.

I know the tears, I understand the anxiety, I can feel the anger that wells up inside. When we are born this is a simple place and it seems to grow complicated with each passing hour. How we would love to go back to the time of warm hugs, wet grandmother kisses, loving glances, and a story before bed. It would be so nice.....

On the same morning that I looked into all of those cars we had a baptism at our morning service. The little girl was not happy about being taken from her parents and she let the congregation know that this was not her cup of tea. The Sr. Pastor tried mightily to calm the child down but to no avail. The parents seemed very calm though and with a knowing smile the father reached out to his crying daughter and seemingly touched her face and gave her a pacifier. The little one ceased crying immediately and the parents gave their little one a glance as if to say that all would be okay. She didn't cry the rest of the ceremony and another child was entered into the Kingdom.

We are like that little girl. Every morning we are thrust out from the warmth of our homes and forced to try and fight through another day. It can be a scary experience and some days it would be much easier to throw the covers over our heads and hide from our fears. It is at that moment, in the midst of all of our sadness, that the hand of God reaches out and gently caresses our cheek. In a slow motion His hand moves slowly over the wrinkles, smooths our hair, and wipes away our tears. His touch is a familiar one and with His Love our sobs slow to gentle breathing. We slowly turn our heads and with a knowing glance He lets us know that all will be okay.

You are okay. You are not alone. You are loved. You will survive.

Whatever is happening in your life, whatever is ailing you, whatever frightens you...give it to God. Just let it go and allow His healing touch to carry you through whatever obstacles are in the way. We can't go back to the way life was when we were young, but we are still children of God and He will always be there to tuck us in and get us ready to start a new day.

We are loved and therefore we will survive.

Thank you God.....for everything.

Yield to the New

2007-02-01T05:46:00.000-08:00

When do you let go?

There are many instances in life where people enter your world and stay for various amounts of time. Some will stay for many years and become confidants and advisers, others will be present for a brief moment and gently nudge you in the direction that life is taking you. Each day we are presented with new people that can either influence us positively or can send us spiraling into a sea of chaos. I have had many friends in my life and my biggest challenge has been when to let go of a friend. What do you do when the friendship has run its course and it is obviously time to move on.

I had this friend in flight school who was basically my brother. We did everything together. A day didn't go by when we weren't either studying, flying, or partying together. If there was an airplane that needed to be flown we would do it, if there was an exam that needed to be passed we would ace it, if there was a party that was being thrown we were there. In environments such as flying it is important to have people that you trust and someone who can make you relax when the stress level gets to high. We were that for each other and it seemed as if we would be friends forever........that is until life got in the way.

It happens all the time doesn't it? Life changes for one person and the other is left holding the remnants of what the life used to be. In this situation, I lost a daughter, changed careers, and started the process of adopting a child......all in a two month period! The life that I knew was gone and all of a sudden a friendship built on one house was being forced into another.

There are times when all of that forcing does more damage than good.

This world that we live in is very strange in the sense that there are so many people that live on this spinning rock and yet we know so few. God always gives us who we need and what we can handle. He will provide us with the right people at the right time and therefore we are never alone....we just need to open our eyes to those being put into our life. Look into your life and try and find those people that were there at times when you needed them. We all have them....and sometimes those people fall away as our experiences pull us in different directions.

I always like the analogy of each of us travelling on our highways of Life. People get on the highway with us and may drive until the next exit or they may stay for hundreds of miles. At some point they come to the exit that they need to get off at and they gently put on their blinker and slide off to the exit ramp and continue on their way. We may hear from them again through phone calls, letters, emails.....but their time with us is done. They served a purpose for us and we for them....maybe they will get back on our highway further on down the road and maybe they won't....God only knows.

I still think about my friend from flight school and hope that his life is filled with happiness and joy. He is a good man and someone that will go very far in life. Our highways may cross again and when they do I will greet him with a smile and a hug, but right now God needs us at different places and who am I to challenge that.

Cherish your friends for they are gifts given to you by our Father. They are in your life for a reason and you never know when they will be called to a different job. This world is filled with so many people and we can only hope to meet a fraction of those who are out there. When somebody new enters your life make sure to treat them well for they play a vital role in the direction your life is supposed to go. Listen to where God is sending you and open your heart to those who are His voice.

Enjoy the drive......use your blinker.......and yield to those entering from the right.......you never know who they might be.

New Paths

2007-01-29T20:57:00.000-08:00

There is that one-day that seems to change everything. It is the day when you are going in one direction and all of a sudden you are thrust down another road that you didn't even know was there. It is a scary road that bears no resemblance to the comfortable highway you are used to traveling. Maybe the road has a lot of potholes, maybe it is covered in black ice, maybe it is only lit by the moon light in the sky above. You step gingerly wondering where this new path is going to take you and the fear of the unknown grips mightily at your heart. There are blind curves, overhanging trees, strange noises in the distance, and you feel alone. We stand in the middle of this new world and wonder why God has put us here.....why now?

This is Life at its best.

That is a strange comment considering the picture that was painted in the above paragraph but look deeper and the answer is revealed. There are two ways to live in this world: eyes open or eyes closed tight. The fact that you ended up on this new path and are able to recognize the details of the road you are on means that your eyes are open, which means they are available to see the direction that God is sending you on. When we close our eyes to the possibility that God is trying to work within us then we miss the moments when God reveals himself to us. God stands right in front of our faces but because we blind ourselves with doubt we miss our moments of clarity.

What is your moment of change? When was the moment that God revealed Himself to you?

Was it a birth, a death, a marriage, or a divorce? Was it a drink, a meeting, a drug, or a needle? Was it a prison stay, a hospital visit, a job loss, or a job gain? Was it a rape, a young pregnancy, an abusive spouse, or were you the abuser?

When was the day that God got your attention?It is at that precise moment where we are plucked out of our routines and put onto the path towards salvation. It is a path that is filled with new people, different experiences, good times and dark times. There may be times when we won’t see what is coming around the bend but if we can remember that it was God who put us on this path then we should not fear the unknown.

So we walk...we walk down these paths that have been laid out for us. We take small steps and trust that the One who put us here will deliver us to where we need to be. There will be days of tears, days of laughter, days of smiles, and days of frowns. This is God's path and it only makes sense that we should feel the full extent of the Love that is given to us by our Father. Go ahead and cry your tears, make sure that you enjoy your smiles, do a good job of furrowing your brow when the frowns appear.....

Just don't forget that we know what a smile is because of our experiences with tears. We can frown because at one point we have laughed....we cannot have one without the other.

When you drive in your car is it the car that takes you to your destination or is it the road?

Without the road the car has nowhere to go...........without God we become like a car that has no path to follow.

Welcome to your Life.....enjoy the ride.

What Do You Need?

2007-01-24T21:43:00.000-08:00

There is nothing worse than waiting for something that seems to be out of reach. It is the pinnacle of frustration when you can feel the change coming, but yet your arms aren't able to wrap around the very thing that will eventually change you.

I want a child. It can be a daughter or a son.....red, black, white.....blue eyes, brown eyes, purple eyes....I don't care. I just want to hold someone in my arms and begin the journey. It is a piece of my life that I cannot control and it is also a part of my life that I want to have happen. If I could speed up the process I would do so, but that is not something that I am able to do. I think about this child often and I don't even know who she is. I can see the parts of my life that have been missing and they are filled with happiness, but when will this become reality? I have spent many an hour talking to God, pleading to God, yelling at God....and the result has been the realization that this will happen on His time...not mine.

There is a verse from the song "Fix You" by Coldplay that I believe sums up what many of us go through each day.

"When you get what you want, but not what you need."

How many of us can sit back in our homes and look around at a room filled with the "wants" of our lives. From my vantage point I can see TV's, furniture, computers, playstations and numerous other desires that have passed through my doors. I have a house full of wants and yet there are things that I need.

I need the laughter of a child, the warm embrace of a little one, a house that is messy because of use, a companion that eats off the kids menu...the list is endless.

I need to be a father. Why is it taking so long?

All of us have deep seated desires that we keep close to our hearts. It can be something small or something grandeur. It can be something that we had briefly or it can be something that we can see but aren't able to touch. We may look around and think that everyone else has it or it may be something that everyone wants but no one is able to actually hang onto. We all have things that we need and wonder why it takes so long for those needs to come to fruition.

I have been on this earth for over 32 years now and have been lucky enough to see sunrises over the Atlantic and sunsets over the Pacific. I have brought people back to life and watched as people died. I have hit rock bottom and have been to the top. I have cheated death and gained life. I have been present at my daughters birth and cried at her death. I have loved God and I have witnessed a life without faith. I have lived with the wants of life and have watched while my needs are never forgotten. I have sinned and I have been forgiven.

The one constant in all of my life has been the unwavering love of God. It has always been there and even when I turned my back, God never turned His. God understands that I need to be a father and I am confident that I will become one at the right moment. I can selfishly protest to Him and state how unfair this life is, but what does that accomplish? We are not in charge and the sooner we realize that the better off we will be.

Let God work. Let God handle your needs.

It may not happen tomorrow, but when God does deliver...will you be ready?

I think I'll go build a nursery.

Just a Thought...

2007-01-22T22:12:00.000-08:00

Today's devotion is a thought. Read the thought, think about the thought, discuss the thought.......in a sense.....give some thought to this thought:

Why did God put you here? Why are you sitting in the spot that you are in? What is your purpose? What qualities do you have that are supposed to be shared with others? Are you living in the eyes of God or are you constantly trying to stay out of sight? Would God be proud of what you are doing? Are you pushing the envelope or merely watching others move on? What is your dream? What is your area of expertise? What does God need you to do?

Find a quiet spot and look into your heart....what is there? Where does God want you to go? How are you going to get there?

Chase the dreams....not normalcy.

Just a thought.

Image vs God

2007-01-17T21:57:00.000-08:00

"A man was flying from Seattle to San Francisco . Unexpectedly, the plane was diverted to Sacramento along the way. The flight attendant explained that there would be a delay, and if the passengers wanted to get off the aircraft the plane would re-board in 50 minutes.Everybody got off the plane except one lady who was blind. The man had noticed her as he walked by and could tell the lady was blind because her Seeing Eye dog lay quietly underneath the seats in front0f her throughout the entire flight.He could also tell she had flown this very flight before because the pilot approached her, and calling her by name, said, "Kathy, we are in Sacramento for almost an hour. Would you like to get off and stretch your legs?" The blind lady replied, "No thanks, but maybe my dog would like to stretch his legs."

Picture this: All the people in the gate area came to a complete standstill when they looked up and saw the pilot walk off the plane with a Seeing Eye dog!The pilot was even wearing sunglasses. People scattered. They not only tried to change planes, but they were trying to change airlines!

True story..... Have a great day and remember...THINGS AREN'T ALWAYS AS THEY APPEAR." (This was given to me by Heather Volland a member of my congregation).

What a great story! It is one of those that makes you laugh, but at the same time makes you pause for a second. What would you have done if you were in that airport? Would you have taken things at face value and ran? Would you have cocked your head to the side and walked up to the pilot to see whether or not he was really blind? Would you have just shrugged your shoulders with indifference and boarded the plane anyway? What is your reaction to the world when the abnormal becomes the mainstream?

How many times have you heard the saying "Image is everything"? It is a statement that has transcended time and continues to be a powerful teaching tool in any type of retail or corporate setting. The belief is that if you look the part than you may just get chosen for the best jobs, the most money, the right family. The sad part is that in our society that tends to be true. I get up each morning and make sure that the pants are creased, the shirt ironed, the hair brushed, and the proper amount of cologne applied. I have a young man who is working with me here at the church and when he started the very first thing I told him was what I expected him to look like when he came to work. I didn't mention to bring his Bible, to say a prayer before he left home....nope....I was more worried about whether or not his shirt was going to be tucked in. I wanted him to be respected and that was the first lesson that I thought he should learn.

Image vs God. It should be a simple battle that is solved in a matter of minutes. Instead we are thrust each day into a furious war that pits societies desires against the teachings of God. The problem is that there are times when I am confused as to which side I am on.

Can you imagine if God imposed such shallow requirements on all of us? What if God stated that only those with the current trends would be allowed to worship and receive His gifts? What if God stated that the leaders of the church must drive the best vehicles, enjoy the finest foods, and dress in the most expensive threads? Can you imagine what the world would look like.........imagine.........

Please listen to me when I say this. This gift given to us from God is not something that is reserved for the affluent...it is for everyone. The homeless man that greets you when you pull off the exit ramp, the woman who pays with food stamps at the grocery store, the child who wears the same clothes each day.....they all "qualify" as children of God and therefore receive the same gifts that we get. It doesn't matter what is on their backs or in their stomachs....what God wants is in their hearts.

Maybe we should try opening ours.

We all come in different shapes, sizes, and colors. We all have different talents, convictions, and moral visions. We all live in different counties, states, and countries. When I look at you I can't tell what pain you hide inside. When I laugh at your jokes, when I shake your hands, when I pat your shoulder I am not privy to the secrets lying within. All I can do is smile and say "May the Peace of the Lord be with you" and pray that God is active within your soul.

Things aren't always as they appear....

Where is God? Can you feel Him?

He's there with you.

Hi.

Nice Clubs...

2007-01-16T07:02:00.000-08:00

I love gifts.

When people give me things I get excited! Especially if they are wrapped. There is nothing more invigorating than unwrapping a present and seeing something that you have always wanted. Your heart rate quickens, a smile jumps across your face, and the eyes tend to sparkle. Yes, gifts can make anybody happy.

What is the best gift that you have ever received?

I would have to go with the golf clubs my wife got for me when I turned 30. They are the kind that make a man feel good when he is out on the golf course. I can walk by people and they make comments like,

"Those are some nice clubs" or "I've always wanted a set of those....how do they play?"

I always give a cool smile and act like I'm really good at golf (which I'm not). I like asking if they would like to swing the clubs and see how they feel. I watch with pride as they try out my gift and then I gently take them back because I don't want them to get to attached to my clubs. This gift given to me by my wife makes me feel good and raises my confidence when I am out in public.

Yep. Thirteen rods made of titanium and steel make me feel like I'm "cool", like I'm "somebody", like "I matter" in the eyes of others.........

Pretty shallow isn't it?

We all do it. We all have those material items that we show off in order to make others think that we are important or that we fit in. There is a laundry list of items: cars, bikes, clothing, hairstyles, bags, ipods, video games, boats, fishing gear, hunting rifles, cell phones, TVs, homes....the list is endless. We are a society built on impressions and the unconscious effort made by all of us to fit into the different molds of our lives is exhausting.

What if we all had the same gift? What if we all had the same priority? What if the gift that I held was the same gift that you had? What if life ceased to be a competition and instead became a group effort?

What if the gift was already here? What if the gift was free?

There is a present that we all have in our possession. It is a gift that was given to us by God for the sole purpose of being able to live with each other in peace and harmony. We all have the capacity to use this gift; it is merely up to us whether or not we decide to incorporate it into our lives.

It is the gift of Love.

What a powerful gift this is! It is a gift that comes in many forms and can be used in a myriad of ways. There are people that use it very effectively and there are others who decide that the gift is one that they will ignore. There are people who use it in their personal lives but then fail to continue to use it out in public. There are those of us who use it in the work environment but then ignore the need to open it while at home. We all have the capacity to love, but it is up to us to decide the method.

How are you using this gift? Do you carry this gift with you or is it left on the coffee table when you walk out the door? Do you share it with others? Do you allow the gift to grow or do you stunt its growth with disuse? Do you abuse the gift and use it to control others? Are your children aware that you carry this gift and do you allow them to exhibit their gift as well? Is Love an important aspect of your life or merely a by-product?

God gave us the gift of Love and He is hoping that it becomes a gift that we use over and over. Make this gift count and allow others to use this gift in your presence.

I like my golf clubs, but I Love my God.

Thank you for the gift.....

Look Up! Take Notice!

2007-01-10T23:48:00.000-08:00

Where do we go from here?

I stood at a crossroads and looked to the left and peered back to the right. The pavement was smooth on both sides and I noticed that the sky was clear all around. Life was calling and I couldn't figure out from what direction the voice was coming from. I looked behind and was surprised to see the road had vanished. The world had stopped to watch the decision that I would make and with great authority I took my first step…

Who have you talked to today? What person have you reconnected with? Is there unfinished business that weighs upon your heart? Are there people who you carry in your soul that need to be reached? When does the time become right to reach out and make amends?

What direction will you choose to walk?

I have met many people in my travels and each one tends to leave an imprint on my heart. There are those people whom I spent a short time with, but can recall vivid details about. Other people have been a part of my life for years and yet I can only give you superficial information about them. Each day people walk in and out of my world with intentions of staying for a while or sometimes they merely pass by with a nod and a smile. I try to remember all of them.....

Many times in our lives we want to isolate ourselves and pretend that this world is very small. It is easier to avoid the risk of friendship than to attempt a relationship that may not pan out in the end. We walk out of our homes and put our eyes to the pavement, not willing to see who is passing in and out of our lives.

It is time to look up and take notice.

We all secretly hope that someday we might get the honored privilege of seeing God in the flesh. In those prayers late at night we send requests of spiritual signs, angels with glowing white wings, and voices that rain down from heaven. In times of trouble there is an outpouring of prayers that request the direct presence of God and the comfort that goes with it. These people sit back and wait for the "miracle" to occur and then walk away disappointed when nothing is perceived to have happened. They walk out their front doors and lower their eyes to the ground…and walk.

If we won't raise our eyes to see who is passing in and out of our lives how will we know when God sends us help or advice? God is always present and tries hard to put people in our path who are going to help us survive. The issue is not whether or not God is helping us…no…the question is whether or not we are aware of the people that God is giving us. How many times in your life has something occurred directly because of someone being inserted into your world? How many times have you been left shaking your head in disbelief when somebody appears out of the blue that seems to have the exact answer you have been looking for? How many times have you seen the work of God first hand?

I stood at a crossroads and looked to the left and peered back to the right. The pavement was smooth on both sides and I noticed that the sky was clear all around. Life was calling and I couldn't figure out from what direction the voice was coming from. I looked behind and was surprised to see the road had vanished. I turned back to the front and saw a man walk by heading to the right. He turned and gestured for me to follow him. I took my first step and the road vanished beneath my feet.

To those people who helped shape me. Thank you.

To those people I never saw pass through my life. I'm sorry.

I'll keep my eyes open next time.

They Are Everywhere

2007-01-08T21:26:00.000-08:00

Children.

We all have been a child at some point in our lives. There is no way to escape the process and therefore we all must pass through the halls of youth to reach the classroom which is Life. I sat down and tried to list some of the great memories of my childhood:

Running for no apparent reason
Popsicles (green was my favorite)
My imaginary friend John Make-up
Sharing a room with my brother for 14 years
Riding my bike to the general store for gum and a Dr. Pepper
More popsicles
Days that seemed to last forever
Nights that went by quickly
Golfing on Sunday afternoons with my Dad
Smiling a lot
Winning the Super Bowl 20 times in one year (with John Make-up playing quarterback)
Sunshine
Sunday School
Knowing that God loved me
Death was an entity unknown to me
Singing "Jesus Loves Me" at the drop of a hat

I often long for the simple innocence that was my life as a child. There was little pressure, bountiful love, good food, and friends that would play with you until the sun went down. I could get up in the morning with the knowledge that everything was going to be taken care of and that life was going to be okay. I realize that I was one of the lucky ones and that many children do not have the luxury that I was given and that saddens me.

In the bible there are numerous references to children and how important a role they play in God's world. This is a reality that transcends into our everyday lives. I believe that there are many times that we forget that there are huge numbers of children that walk this earth with us everyday. They are observant and watch all of the different things that we do.

They see the wars, racism, name calling, violence, and pettiness that accompany all of our lives. They hear the anger in our voices or see the tears falling down our faces. They notice the coldness in our eyes, the wringing of our hands, and pounding of our fists. They are there when we yell at our neighbors and present when we swear under our breath.

They are everywhere.

These children will eventually become adults and their worldview will be dictated by what we show them today. The future lies within them and their education is our responsibility. Take a moment and look around at your surroundings. These young people are watching and what they learn today is going to shape our tomorrow.

Teach them well.

Through the Open Floor

2007-01-03T22:36:00.000-08:00

The child woke up and looked around her room. It was unfamiliar to her and the usual comforting feeling wasn't present. She felt...different...and didn't know what else to think. She thought that she better call out for her mother and make sure that everything was okay.

"Mom!"

There was no answer.

"Mom!"

There was still no answer and she realized that the door to the hallway was closed.......that door is never closed!

"MOM!!"

"She's not here....."

The little girl jumped from her bed and looked frantically around the room.

"Who said that?!"

The crack under the door erupted into a white light and then it slowly opened to reveal the silhouette of man standing in the doorway.

"Don't be afraid...it is me...Grandpa J."

The little girl peered into the light and saw that it was indeed her Grandfather! How could this be? He had died one year earlier!

"Grandpa....I don't understand....how are you here?"

He walked slowly into the room and knelt down next to his granddaughter.

"My love...you are actually the one who is here. Let me show you."

He held out his hand and the little girl intertwined her small fingers with his. They walked to the bedroom door and opened it slowly. The white light was blinding as they stepped out into the hallway. All of a sudden, the little girl sucked her breath in quickly.

The floor was gone!

She quickly grabbed onto her grandfather and waited for them to start falling. She felt a strong hand gently pat her on the head and she glanced down with great hesitation.

"What happened to the floor?" she asked innocently.

"We don't need it here." Her grandfather responded "Look down. Do you see where we are?".

The little girl peered down and saw a small bed with what appeared to be a doll lying in it. There were two adults sitting next to the bed and they appeared to be crying. The adult woman was holding onto the man next to her and the shoulders of both seemed to be heaving.

"Why are they so sad?" she asked.

"Their little girl is sick." He responded with a heavy voice.

"Oh...that must really hurt." and with that the little girl again peered down at the drama unfolding beneath her. She felt a tear drop onto her head and she looked up to see her grandfather crying.

"Why are you sad?"

"Because that woman crying is my daughter."

The little girl quickly turned back to the room below and felt her chest tighten with fear.

"Mom.........Dad........." she said in barely a whisper.

The little girl watched as her parents held each other tightly...they seemed so sad. Her eyes kept being drawn back to the doll in the bed...it looked so familiar. She squinted with great effort and tried to bring everything into better focus.

Then it hit her. That wasn't a doll, that was her! She wheeled around and yelled,

"How can I still be in bed and here at the same time? Why are my parents so sad!"

Her grandfather kneeled down next to her and kissed her gently on the forehead and then the memories started to flow.

At first she remembered the pain, the needles, the monitors, and the scary machines that made her sick. She recalled seeing her hair fall out, more monitors, ambulances, faceless doctors, and teenagers delivering gifts during Christmas. She remembered sitting on her mothers lap staring out the hospital window watching the world go through its seasons. She could feel the ball hitting her hand while playing catch with her dad in the corridor of the children's wing. The biggest thing that kept coming into her memory was the unbelievable amounts of pain. Pain in the morning, pain in the afternoon, and pain in the evening. She hated the pain.

"I'm dead aren't I?" she asked to no one in particular.

"No...God told me to come get you...there was to much pain." Her grandfather said gently.

"I'm still dead."

"Move your arms and legs" her grandfather urged.

She began to twist her arms and swing her legs back and forth. It felt different than it ever had before...but why? Then she realized....

There was no pain. The pain was gone.

She looked up at her grandfather and he gave her a wink.

"God loves you and is always with you. Teach the world about Him and enable others to see His love. Live your life as God would intend."

The white light grew brighter and everything became blurry once again.

----------------------------------------------------

Her eyes slowly opened and she saw her mother and father quietly crying at the side of her bed. She moved her arms and legs just to make sure that it had not been a dream. She smiled as they moved freely and without pain.

"Mom.....Dad....." she whispered.

They composed themselves and looked down at their daughter.

"Yes, honey."

"Grandpa says hi."

-----------------------------------------------------

At that time Jesus said, "I praise you, Father, Lord of heaven and earth, because you have hidden these things from the wise and learned, and revealed them to little children. Yes, Father, for this was your good pleasure."

Matthew 11: 25 - 26

Turn. Stand. Fight.

2007-01-01T22:26:00.000-08:00

The year began 9 hours ago and so far it seems to be going pretty well. I have maintained my health, my marriage is strong, I enjoy where I work, and I don't see any fires on the horizon.

Life is good. 2007 is good.

So far.

There is something scary about the 1st of January. All we have to do is look back on the following year and see all of the things that happened that we never could have expected. There were good moments and bad moments, happy times and sad times, births and deaths, job gains and job losses. We stood and fought the hours of time, but the clock always seemed to win. The hour hand hit midnight and we sent 2006 into the history books and turned our eyes towards 2007 and all that it might hold. I drained my glass of champagne with a sense of success and walked to the car with a sense of trepidation. I know that tomorrow is coming and yet when I try to focus on the future it always comes out looking like a black curtain. The new year is here and I want someone to assure me that it won't bite.

I'm scared...

It is a natural human reaction to the unknown and I assume that I'm not the only one who carries fear in my heart. There have been too many tragedies in all of our lives for us not to walk around wondering when the next shoe is going to drop. The funny part is that we all try and act tough when we are out in public. We walk around with these smiles on our faces and tell everyone we meet that life is good, life is sweet, life smells like roses.

Here's a little secret; there are times when Life smells like.........well you get the picture.

That might be a little shocking, but it's reality. Life is never perfect and there are times when it gets hard...really hard. There was never a promise made to the human race that life would be easy and therefore we might as well learn to deal with the ups and downs. The question is not why does Life have to be so hard...no...the question is how do we deal with Life when it gets difficult?

What is your plan? What is your course of action?

When the pungent smell of Life gone bad circles into your house, how do you handle it? Do you bury your head in the pillows hoping that it will go away or do you stand and fight? Do you turn and run or do you crouch and attack?

This is your Life! This is a precious gift given to you by God! Do not let an outside influence take it away from you! The only one who can have the privilege of living your life is you...and that means you are supposed to fight for it! Do not let the world and all of its anger tear you away from the most important possession that you have.

Turn. Stand. Fight.

This is a battle that you cannot lose. The giver of Life is God and He will fight along side of you for as long the battle might take. Your life is important to Him and He doesn't want this gift to be taken away...ever. When you look back at 2006 and then turn your eyes towards 2007 understand that there is one constant that has not changed with the turning of the calendar.

God's unconditional love and presence.

Do not fear the future and never allow this world to dictate the direction your life will go. God knows the way home...follow Him and allow the battles to come.

The year began 10 hours ago and so far it seems to be going pretty well. I have maintained my health, my marriage is strong, I enjoy where I work, and I don't see any fires on the horizon. Life is good.

Thank you God.

My Top Ten Favorites...

2006-12-27T21:24:00.000-08:00

New Years Eve is quickly approaching and I thought it would be a good idea to leave all of you with ten key quotes from some of my past blogs. These were quotes pulled from my various writings that I think can add substance to people's lives and also provide some thought provoking moments. Have fun and share them with your friends if you think that they can help.

"Enjoy today.....it's the only one you have."

"Figure out where God is sending you and the clarity that you are looking for will reveal itself."

"This was a gift given to all. We are the recipients of the greatest present ever made. We are loved."

"My friends do not fear what we cannot see. Revel in the mystery and enjoy the life we are given. This is only part of the journey and the best is yet to come. Love this life and prepare for the next."

"Let the past go. Allow the future to come. Enjoy the present…it is truly a gift…"

"Bravery is a one time thing...Courage is a lifetime."

"We are all different, but with God's love we become the same."

"We all will be dealt cards that we don't want, but we have to include God in the darkness of tragedy. God is not just a giver of success.... He is the comforter of Life."

"Life without color is a life absent of one of the most important emotions known to humankind. Love."

"The answer to all of your questions lies on the cross. Look there for the ability to see what the past, present and future will be."

May all of you have a Happy New Year and remember that God is with you everyday...even when you don't think you "need" Him.

Thank you for making this blog so much fun to write and also supporting this growing ministry. See you next year!! : )

Todd Tribble

Does God Play Favorites?

2006-12-26T09:03:00.000-08:00

"Jesus loves you, but I'm his favorite."

My sister-in-law Katherine shared this bumper sticker with me last night. We were in the middle of a deep discussion about faith and how you figure out the meaning of life. She told me this with a mischievous look in her eye and the smile of someone who knows that they are kidding but also with the longing for it to be true. Her insightful comment offers up a very interesting question:

Does God play favorites?

Are there those of us who are considered "more important" to God and therefore get the prize lives while others are cast as supporting players and are relegated to the back of the bus? Is God playing a dangerous game of "pick and choose" and therefore we all better be on our best behavior less we are put into the "average" category with the rest of humanity? Are we valuable to God or merely pawns that are helping someone else ascend to the head of the class?

There are times I look around the world and wonder if God even sees me. I am being honest when I say that there are times I open my mouth in prayer and all I hear is crickets. The silence is deafening and I peek out from my folded hands hoping to see something that will indicate that God actually heard my heartfelt words. Had my prayers been acknowledged or is God to busy with more important people? Are my prayers in the proverbial "To Do" box and will be looked at in due time? Did I not meet the criteria for a meaningful exchange? Where do I fall on the list of influential people?

There is only one answer that can cure the fear that God may not always hear what we say:

Jesus Christ.

It is important to remember that Jesus could have been born into royalty, he could have had a nice bed, warm baths, servants, and bountiful food. Jesus could have fought back, he could have chosen the social elite for his disciples, he could have used the fact that his father was God to dominate the landscape, and above all...he could have lived.

God inserted himself into the world via a poor family who represented the very people that He needed to reach. He was deliberate in making sure that His son would be exposed to the world as a whole. This was done for the simple fact that Jesus would eventually die in order to forgive the sins of the people of earth. It was a risky decision, but one that would change everything and eventually cause the world to take pause and realize who God really is.

God did not sent His son to die just for the socially powerful, the rich, the religious leaders, the upper crust, or well paid. No...He sent his son to die for all of us...no matter what type of life we lead. It is important to remember that Jesus died for you and that automatically puts your name at the top of any list that God might have.

So I want to add something to the bumper sticker that Katherine shared with me. I think it should read:

"Jesus loves you...but I'm his favorite...and so are you."

Amen, and may God bless your family during this Christmas season.

Jason and Lisa

2006-12-20T23:05:00.000-08:00

Jason woke up one morning and felt that this day was going to be big. He couldn’t tell what was going to happen, but knew it was going to be life changing. He got out of bed and went through his daily routine of getting ready for work. The water felt good upon his skin and the coffee was just the right mix of bitterness and cream. He kissed his wife, patted the dog on the head, and climbed into his car. The kids on the corner waved goodbye and he drove off towards the city…the day had begun.

Lisa woke up one morning and felt that this day was going to be her last. She didn’t know how it was going to happen, but knew that it would be life ending. She got out of bed and went through the daily routine of getting ready for work. The water burned her skin and the coffee tasted like mud upon her lips. She lived alone and patted the picture of her late husband on the way out the door. Nobody noticed her leaving and she climbed aboard the empty bus headed downtown…the day had begun.

Jason pulled into the parking garage and positioned the car in a reserved spot on the third floor. He walked into the office with a smile on his face and a jump in his step. His co-workers all greeted him and he responded with a nod and a courteous handshake. The sun was streaming through the office window and Jason settled into his chair to begin his work. He felt that this was going to be a big day and was anxious to find out why.

Lisa tried to take a nap on the bus but the bumps kept waking her up. She gazed longingly at her ring finger wishing that the love of her life was still here. The bus stopped and she got off and began the half-mile trek to the restaurant. The people on the street ignored her and she drew the collar of her jacket close to her neck to avoid the chill that was beginning to seep in. The restaurant was still locked up and she waited outside for the manager to show up. She knew that this was going to be her last day but was anxious to see how it would end.

Jason received a phone call from his boss and was asked to meet the regional managers at lunch. He enjoyed getting together with other people and a lunch date was scheduled for that day. He continued to work, but every now and then he would glance out the window to see the sun sneak across the sky. He was being drawn to something, but couldn’t figure out what.

Lisa paced back and forth outside of the restaurant. Her cell phone rang and she listened to her manager tell her that he was running late and to just use the spare key. She hated when she had to open the building by herself and the idea of just leaving entered her mind. The sun had moved the shadows and she decided that it was time to walk away. This job was not worth the aggravation and besides today was the end…who cares.

Jason headed out around noontime to meet up with the managers at a local restaurant. He was running a little late and picked up his pace in order to make it to the meeting on time.
The streets were packed with people and he found it hard to maneuver through the throng of humanity. He knew that today was going to be a good one…but how?

Lisa turned up the street and headed in the direction of her favorite pub. She didn’t have any time constraints and slowly made her way through the massive amount of people. If she was going to end this failure of a life than she would need some help…the pub was only five minutes away.

Jason looked down at his watch and began to jog a little. He didn’t want to be late and if he could run the last couple blocks then he would make it. His cell phone rang again and he answered it while continuing to run. The empty crosswalk should have been a clue…

Lisa looked up at the bank clock and decided that she would stay at the pub for three hours and then figure out where to end this crazy life. She heard a cell phone ring and turned to see an impeccably dressed man answer the silver contraption. She stopped at the curb in order to wait for the light to turn green. She watched in horror as the man ran out into the street…

Jason was startled by the blaring horn and looked up to see his approaching death. His brain told him to move but his legs were frozen in place. He opened his mouth to scream but it was silenced by a violent push that sent him sprawling across the cold asphalt.

Lisa heard the taxi’s horn and saw that the well-dressed man was about to be hit. Her adrenaline surged and she lunged in the direction of the man…tackling him to the street. She felt a rush of air as the taxi missed her by inches and then her hands collided with the ground with a dramatic clap.

Jason rolled over and ended up face to face with a young woman. Her eyes were sad, lips turned down, and it was evident that her life had taken a turn for the worst. She just stared at him with little emotion emanating from her scarred face. He reached out his hand and introduced himself,

“Hello, I’m Jason”.

She took the hand hesitantly and responded,

“Lisa…my name is Lisa”.

Jason looked at her and noticed that she wore a silver cross around her neck. He smiled and thanked her for saving his life.

Lisa looked at him and noticed that he wore a silver cross around his neck. She frowned as she realized that today could not be her last…it must be her first. She looked Jason in the eyes and thanked him for saving her life as well.

God looked down at Jason and Lisa and smiled.

His children were safe again.

The Monkey Bars of Life

2006-12-18T20:40:00.000-08:00

"Because I know you're struggling. You may not even know it, but eventually you'll realize...there's that one thing. That one thing holding you back, keeping you in a cage. It's eating at you slowly...don't let it kill you. And no matter how much your grip weakens,Just hold on." Sammy Longtin Dec./2006

This quote was written as part of a blog entry by one of my youth here in Kentucky. I have been staring at it for the last week and have allowed the power of the words to wash over me. There is a lot of truth in this quote and the fact that a 15 year old had the maturity to put it down onto paper is even more inspiring. Let's jump in and see where this will take us...

What is holding you back?

I remember as a young child staring at the world out of a car window. It was a gigantic place that was filled with possibility and intrigue. There were so many people that I didn't know and I can distinctly recall wanting to meet them all. It was the pipe dream of a 5 year old and yet at the time it seemed plausible. I never stood at the screen door of my house and wondered what was out there...no...I flung open the door and burst into the world ready to encounter the new and exciting. I wanted to know about the world and was willing to explore to find my answers.

That all changes at some point. The world doesn't seem as big anymore and when the door is opened I don't have the same excitement flowing through my veins. I look out into the world and see evil, anger, hate and a myriad of other famous entities. I look over my shoulder and see bad decisions, mistakes, regrets and many other residents that have moved in over the years. I have lost the power to explore and it has been replaced with a debilitating fear. What has happened to me?

What has happened to you?

When Mr. Opportunity comes knocking at your door are you able to open it? What is holding you back? What is causing the bile to rise up in your chest? What is allowing the indecision's to come out? What is standing in your way? What is blocking your view? What has grabbed a hold of your mind and refuses to let go?

Is it fear of failure? Is it an addiction that has been kept secret from everyone? Is it a regret from the past? Is it fear of the unknown? Is it loneliness? Is it the fact that nobody understands you and just once you wish somebody would notice that you exist?

So many questions and yet each one can dig deeper than a knife ever will. Sometimes these statements become overwhelming and it is then that we feel our grasp on reality begin to slip. The easy way out becomes enticing and the fact that all of this pain would just go away is a wonderful antidote. The fact that you could block out this world generates a feeling of contentment...because at least then you wouldn't have to keep answering the door. We feel our fingers begin to loosen and we close our eyes in preparation of the final fall.

"Just hang on."

Have you ever watched parents help their children with the monkey bars? Usually the younger children will insist that they can play on the equipment themselves. They hang onto the bars and begin to cross to the other side. At about the half way point they begin to panic. They don't want to give up but their muscles override their mind and the grip begins to loosen. It is at this time that an alert parent will swoop in and offer their support to the child. Typically, they allow the child to continue but they make sure to support the child and not allow them to fall.

This is how God works in our lives. We have no choice but to grab onto the bars of life and start to swing. As children, we swing with a purpose and each success is a moment of joy. Then we get older and begin to tire, our heart begins to lose hope, and our fingers begin to let go. It is at that moment that the loving arms of God is made known. He wraps us with His love and encourages us to continue with the journey. We may be tired from the tribulations of our life but with God's help we can swing again.

We just need to hold on. Read the passage once more and allow the pain to release and your grip on Life to strengthen again.

"Because I know you're struggling. You may not even know it, but eventually you'll realize...there's that one thing. That one thing holding you back, keeping you in a cage. It's eating at you slowly...don't let it kill you. And no matter how much your grip weakens, Just hold on." Sammy Longtin/Dec 2006

Today Has Arrived

2006-12-13T21:55:00.000-08:00

Enjoy today.....it's the only one you have.

I woke up this morning and realized that yesterday was gone. It had been here when I went to sleep but when I woke up...gone. I can't get it back and there is no way to change anything that happened. I categorized it as "normal" and part of me wishes that I had made it more exciting. I bid that day goodbye when I closed my eyes and it was gone before my dreams could overtake my tired mind.

Had I made a difference or had I settled for mediocrity? Was the world better off or had I just been a blip on the vast radar of life? Had I touched some one's heart? When people called on me did I help or had they survived in spite of me? What kind of day had it been? Had I made the air that I breathe worth the effort?

Had I lived the day in God's eyes or mine?

What about you?

Have you done your best? When people needed your assistance did you jump into the fray or turn your back? The co-worker who needed a smile, the waiter who needed that extra dollar, the child who needed a hug...were you there? When that moment of opportunity presented itself did you seize it or let it float by?

Would God be proud of your efforts?

This time of year ramps up the engine of life to insurmountable speeds. The blinders go on and we just try to survive the onslaught of needs and desires. We will step over those that need us in order to achieve a selfish goal. The bags get heavier, the lines get longer, and the smiles stretch into frowns. We slowly forget what it means to celebrate this wonderful time of year and replace our joy with the sneer of economics.

We need to help our friends and open our hearts to those who cannot. This whole season started in a manger and there are times we need to return to that stable to understand why. The shepherds and wisemen all took time out of their busy days to see what all of the fuss was about.

Maybe we should to.

I woke up this morning and realized that yesterday was gone and tomorrow was far away. I looked outside and saw that today had arrived.

I start now. This is the moment when I put aside the burden of gift bags and look for the eyes of the lost and the tears of the forgotten. Join me during this holiday season and hold up those who need your strong arms. Pray for those who cannot see what is inside the manger and allow the glory of God to work through you.

This all started in a stable and the story continues even today....

Keep reading...it just gets better.

When Did This Life Become a Job?

2006-12-11T21:19:00.000-08:00

I have always had a hard time with recognizing when to stop. I wake up in the morning and just start moving. I look at my watch and see that time seems to be going by much faster than I want it to. I tell myself that I have to slow down, take a break, and breathe for a second.

The problem is that...I can't.

Correct that...I don't want to.

There is a life that needs to be lived! There are people that need to be met, stories that need to be told, hands to shake, and meals to eat. I wake up and head out to encounter a world that is just waiting for me to jump in headfirst. I swing by my favorite coffee shop, grab some energy, and get down to the business of living. I wave to the same jogger, smile at the three year olds coming to school, pop open the computer and pour out my inner thoughts so that you might enter them into yours. I answer the phone and listen to the anguish of a parent. I cry with the broken hearted and celebrate with the excited. I pray with the sick and talk to the dying. I accomplish deadlines, print out fliers, lick the envelopes, answer the emails, and order the lesson plans.

I live.

The problem is that I can't help but feel as if something is missing.

Do you know what I'm talking about?

We get up each morning, put our faces on, and head out into the world. We have responsibilities and people that count on us. There are children that need to be fed, spouses that need to be supported, friends that need help, and parents that need guidance. We fly frantically through our lives trying to keep all of the balls up in the air...fearful that if one hits the floor...they all will. We stare at our reflections in the mirror and wonder where the fire went. We can't figure out why we feel empty when we have so much.

When did this life become a job? When did it cease being fun? When did the most important part of my day become the opening of a coffee cup?

I don't have an answer.

Good thing He does.

When you go to bed tonight I want all of you to try something. Find a quiet spot, turn off all the lights, and......listen.

What you will hear is the sound of silence and it is there where you will find God. It is in moments of calm that the voice of our Father is the most clear. Start a conversation and allow it to go where it needs to. Ask those questions that need to be answered, cry the tears that need to fall, smile at the memories that arrive, and allow Him to hold you for a couple of minutes.

He gave this life to us and when we lose sight of the answers it is back to Him we need to go. He is always available and the warmth of His embrace will heal many a wound. There are no boundaries to His love and it doesn't matter how old or young you are, we are all children in His eyes.

Enjoy the silence, revel in the love, and allow the feeling of peace to come over you. This life is crazy but when God is with us it becomes a manageable entity. This conversation is on going and the more we listen...the calmer we get. Figure out where God is sending you and the clarity that you are looking for will reveal itself.

Just listen.

Now go live.

Just Trying to Wake Up

2006-12-07T06:04:00.000-08:00

“I can’t move.”

Joe had been standing in the same spot for the last 30 years and all of a sudden God was telling him it was time to walk. This had become a very comfortable place and Joe had enjoyed his stay but there was no denying this push coming from above.

“I can’t move.”

It wasn’t that he didn’t want to take the next step. He just didn’t know how. His life path had been predictable, easy, a walk in the park. He had seen other people forced to move but he figured that it would never happen to him. He had everything that he needed and walking just didn’t seem to be a very smart move.

“I can’t move.”

He loved God and enjoyed all of the perks that come with being spiritual. He loved private moments of prayer, the singing of songs on a peaceful morning, and an invigorating religious class. He could look into a child’s eyes and see the pure joy of life. There had been great moments of joy and deep times of spirituality. He had grown up with the umbrella of God’s love and he had grown fond of the relationship.

“I can’t move.”

He looked around the room and wished that there was someone else who would move for him. It was empty. He looked down at his feet and began to cry. He cried for the loss of innocence, the loss of comfort, and the loss of simplicity. God had chosen him for the next chapter and there was nothing he could do about it.

“I have to move.”

The dreams had been to real…the voice of God too strong. He had woken up with sweat pouring off his body and the voices from his slumber had echoed in his brain. He had stood up and found his feet locked into place on the floor.

“I have to move.”

There was going to be a gift. There was going to be child. There was going to be a king. The voice had told him all of this. He wanted to believe but that would mean he would have to walk. He heard a shuffling of feet at the door.

“Joseph….are you alright?”

He looked down at his feet and wiped the tears away. He looked up at the beautiful face of his precious Mary and took a step towards her…

“I’m fine Mary…just trying to wake up.”

Get Out of the Box

2006-12-04T19:28:00.000-08:00

I sit.

I listen.

I wonder.

Why does God love us so much?

We don’t deserve the sentiment. We have done nothing to show God that the gifts that He bestows upon us are welcome. We live in His world as if we are the owners rather than invited guests. We are not good neighbors.

Just today I got angry at a fellow driver, swore under my breath at the road worker who told me to go “slow”, and avoided the eyes of a homeless man standing on a corner. I supposedly work for Him, but definitely don’t portray myself in a good light.

I sit down and turn on the TV and see lives destroyed every couple minutes. I go over to the religious channels seeking some refuge and am bombarded with information as to why one place is better than the other.

“Come to our church…we have a coffee bar!”

“Come to our church…our youth program is out of sight!”

“Come to our church…we have great music!”

“Come to our church…we are contemporary/traditional!”

“Come to our church…we’ve got it all!”

I always picture God just sitting with His head buried in His hands wondering aloud to the angels, “Are they ever going to get it?”.

It has to be comical to God sometimes. I wonder what it looks like on a Sunday morning when He watches His people start their daily pilgrimages. Here are all of these self-proclaimed Christians passing each other on the streets and sidewalks without even a nod hello. They quietly move to their respective buildings and then the mouths open in prayer and song. An hour later it is back into the cars and the process reverses itself. A world full of “in the box” Christians just making their way through life.

We are a family that has become disconnected. We are relatives that don’t even realize that they live in the same town. We are children who want to play but have forgotten how.

So what do we do?

We change.

Now.

When this happened before, God sent the world a gift that had the sole purpose of bringing His people together again. That gift is still present today. There was a baby born to a brave girl and this child was sent for all of humanity. He was born in a time of war, turmoil, and hatred. His parents were poor and worried about money. There was disease and natural disasters were a constant threat.

Their world looked like….our world.

This gift was not a onetime deal. This was a gift designed to stay for eternity. This little child would be raised to teach, love, heal, and die for humanity. He would save all of us from ourselves. We are not capable of living a life of perfection and so God sent us a child to give us peace. This child would eventually hang on a cross to forgive all of our sins.

That person that stands in line with you at the grocery store, the child who waits at the bus stop in front of your house, all of the churches that you pass on your way to worship?

He died for them.

My brothers and sisters in Christ it is time to change. We do not have the ability to determine which person is “right” in the eyes of God. I do not believe that God sits on a throne and decides with great authority who will enter and who will be shut out. I refuse to buy into the fact that one church is better than the other. We can attempt to put God in the box with us but He refuses to be confined.

So where is God?

God is in the manger. God is in the heart of a child born into a world whose main goal was to make sure that he died before he reached the age of two. God is in the voice of an angel that tells Mary that all will be okay. God is in the eyes of Joseph who was given the responsibility of raising a child who would change the world.

This was a gift given to all. We are the recipients of the greatest present ever made. We are loved.

The next time a mini-van of people passes you on a Sunday morning, give a little wave…they may be on the way to open the same gift that you are going to unwrap.

Merry Christmas.

Welcome Home

2006-11-29T21:44:00.000-08:00

"Shut up."

The man was not happy with the idea of being taken away from his home. He had lived there his whole life and it had become a haven of safety. The fact that someone was telling him that it was time to move...it was a bitter pill to swallow.

"I'm not leaving...so get out."

He had been a man of strong conviction, loyalty, and patience. The world had been a playground for him and the passport in his back pocket was filled with the stamps of the world. There were many people who called this man a friend and very few who named him an enemy.

"Get your hands off me! Leave me alone!"

The monitor next to the bed was showing flatline and the medical staff was moving quickly into position. He knew that the time had come and he wasn't ready...there was still to much to do...there was still a life to live...it wasn't time!

"I don't want to go! Let me live! Please!"

The hands on his chest began to pump and oxygen began to flow into his body. The room was filling with people and the noise levels started to rise with anxiety. The eyes staring at him had a sadness to them as if they knew where he was going.

"Just one more day...I beg you...one more..."

A surge of adrenaline pulsed through his body, but then it subsided with no effect. The needle pierced his skin again and he felt the faint feeling of life start to creep into his heart, but then it left as quickly as it came. The stares of sadness began to turn into eyes of cold acceptance.

"No.....not now......I'm.........scared........"

The pressure on his chest began to stop and the cold breath of oxygen ceased to enter his lungs. The noise began to die and the room emptied quietly. The eyes looked above his head and wrote down the time on an official looking pad of paper. A hand patted his shoulder and slowly retreated into the darkness...

"Help! God...please if you are there...come to me now...please...I am so frightened."

A form entered the room and walked slowly over to the bed. A warm feeling enveloped him and he turned his face in the direction of the visitor. A barely audible whisper came through the air and a light brighter than the sun began to creep up the walls. He tried to close his eyes and found that the light seemed to get brighter no matter how hard he attempted to avoid it. The whisper grew louder and he strained to hear it.

"welcome home...welcome home...welcome home..."

The room began to spin and he found himself launched into the air with great force. He panicked and tried to hold onto the bed and realized that it wasn't there anymore.

"welcome home...welcome home...welcome home..."

He began to fall and then realized that he was being supported by the arms of someone with great strength. He turned to see who was holding onto him and found himself staring into the most beautiful eyes that he had ever seen. They were kind and filled with the love only reserved for a child. The light began to move and the room disappeared into a haze of stars. He gazed into the face of this massive being and heard a deep voice rumble inside his head...

"Welcome home my child. Welcome home."

-----------------------------------------------------

My friends do not fear what we cannot see. Revel in the mystery and enjoy the life we are given. This is only part of the journey and the best is yet to come. Love this life and prepare for the next. God Bless.

I Don't Want To Go Back

2006-11-27T16:06:00.000-08:00

Are you a victim of opportunity?

Have you made decisions in your past that seemed like a great idea at the time, but now cast shadows on your life?

Yes?

Me to.

The world we live in is addicted to the word “opportunity”. We are told that things only happen once and if we don’t seize the moment…we ultimately will fail. I have a nasty habit of waking up in the morning and spending the day analyzing every individual that passes in and out of my life. I am constantly wondering if this might be a person that holds a key to what my next step is supposed to be. The phone rings, the email hums, and the fax machine clicks with possible avenues that may take me closer to my goals in life. I agonize over decisions because I don’t want to make the wrong one and delay whatever my destiny is going to be. I look around every corner…trying to see…

"Hey!"

Oh no.

“Yep.”

It’s you again…I forget that you can hear my thoughts.

“It’s a neat benefit that comes with being God. I like it.”

Well, I hope I didn’t make you angry. I am just trying to write a devotion for my blog and thought that this might be a neat topic.

“Do you consider yourself a victim of…how did you say it…opportunity?”

I guess. There are so many different decisions that we can make each day and sometimes I make the wrong one. I don’t mean to choose badly but it happens more than I would like. The hardest part for me is that I truly want to do the right thing. I want to serve you the way that people are supposed to. I want you to look at me and be proud. The problem is that I am scared.

“Scared?”

Yes.

“Of what?”

Of choosing the direction that puts me back into the hole that I climbed out of when you found me. I was in a horrible place and you pulled me out…I don’t want to regress. I love the life that you have given me and I am afraid that if I take a misstep I might lose all that has been set in front of me. I don’t want to go back…ever.

“That is not how it works. I am not a God who punishes people when they stray from the light. Let me explain it this way. Let’s use the imagery of shepherds and sheep, okay?”

Sure.

“Imagine what would happen if the shepherd went after the lost lamb and when he found it…he killed it.”

That would be awful!

“Exactly. That would be a decision that would insert long-term damage into the flock and trust in the shepherd would erode over time. Why would he kill a member of the flock when he can simply carry the lamb back to the group and allow the little one to live and learn.”

That makes sense, but how do you avoid making the wrong decision? I want to know how I can make the right one? I don’t want to wander away.

“That my son comes from experience and being able to listen to your heart. Involve me in the decision making, talk to me, pray with me, and ultimately listen to me. This is not something that happens overnight and there are many times where you will stray and not even realize it. All of a sudden you will look around and realize that the rest of the flock is gone and darkness has enveloped you…and then…”

I don’t want to stray…just tell me how to avoid wandering off.

“Let me finish…”

Sorry.

“I don’t expect any of you to be perfect and I certainly don’t get angry when you make a decision that takes you away from me. The important thing to understand is that I will always come after you. When you stray…and you will…I am right there to guide you back to the rest of the flock. Even if you go to the darkest corners of the forest, I will find you and lead you home.”

I just want you to be proud of me.

“I am always proud of you. You are my child and therefore my love for you is unwavering. I want you to succeed and to live your life to the potential that I have bestowed upon you.”

This life is hard. I don't want to go back to the way I was...I want to be with you.

“Have peace and let go of the pressure. Give your life to me, give your burdens to me, and allow me to lead you back to the light. Life can be easy if you allow me in it.”

Thank you…really...

“No problem...now get back to that blog…I want this one to be good.”

2 Questions...1 Answer

2006-11-20T21:31:00.000-08:00

When does the future begin?

This is a question that will keep you up at night. Here is a word that we use so frequently and yet no one can tell me when it actually starts. I walk around and tell people that they need to look to the future and learn from the past, but what good is that advice if I can’t tell them when it begins!

When does the past end?

There’s another one! I can look back over my 32 years and clearly see moments of the past. They stare back at me like the stuffed animals on my sister’s bed, they aren’t alive but they are still there. When does it end? When does the past cease to exist?

I believe that I have the answer and it is actually very simple. If you want to know where the past ends and the future begins…look at the present.

The here. The now. This moment.

The present.

There are three homes that one can live their life in. If they choose the past, their life tends to be filled with regrets and dreams of what could have been. If they choose the future, their lives trend towards looking for the next big thing and never being satisfied with what they have. If they are one of the few that chooses the present, then their lives tend to be filled with contentment, a respect for the past, and an excitement for what is to come.

To live in the present is a tricky proposition. It entails being able to take things as they are and not trying to control the life you have been given. There needs to be an ability to take the experiences from the past and mold them together with the dreams of the future. In the present, the word “regret” ceases to exist and the idea of wanting more takes a backseat to the love of what you have.

The problem with the present is that it is fleeting. The present moment is quickly filed away with the past and the future is always one step away. To live in the present is to walk a tightrope without the aid of a net. To effectively walk that line one needs to employ the idea of trust. The person who chooses this route must have the belief that God forgives the past and that He will lead them into the future. This individual has to give himself or herself completely to God and be able to step out into the world knowing that the path laid out for them is the right one.

They must have Faith.

When the cross was raised and Jesus took his last breath all of our pasts were erased. If you are one of those people living with the pain of what happened yesterday…have peace. Those things that happened are forgiven. They are erased. The slate that is your life has been wiped clean. Jesus died for you and by having Faith in this wonderful gift you can unlock the shackles of the past and leave them behind.

If you are one of those that is constantly looking for the next great moment of your life, I invite you to look around. This is that moment. God has given you the very breath that you just took and I urge you to take advantage of that which can be gone tomorrow. Those plans for ten years from now may or may not occur, but this moment is actually happening so do something with it. Let God worry about the future and just enjoy the day He has provided for you. This life we live goes quick…don’t waste it on tomorrow.

Let the past go.

Allow the future to come.

Enjoy the present…it is truly a gift…

Advice for the young...and old

2006-11-15T12:58:00.000-08:00

To the children,

God Loves You
Enjoy your moments of laughter and treasure the times of glee.
When you dream make sure that you take a moment and look around at who is there with you.
When you are told that you did a good job...believe it. When you are told that you did a bad job...listen.
When people put you down...smile. When people pump you up...smile. When a friend cries...shed a tear.
Write what you think and live what you say.
There is never a bad day...just a pause before the good one arrives.
There will come a time when your dreams will look you in the face...don't blink.
When everyone is running away...turn and look at what they fear...you may see it again.
When everyone is running forward...turn and look at what they forgot...you may need it someday.
When people tell you that God doesn't exist...look at the stars and try to explain how they got there.
There are many who will say yes, but only a select few have the guts to say no.
Adults don't have all the answers...listen to your heart.
If you want to change the world, breathe...speak...listen...pray.
Bravery is a one time thing...Courage is a lifetime.
When God calls you home...be ready.

To the adults,

Be like children.

The Spices of Life

2006-11-13T21:56:00.000-08:00

Every Monday I make my weekly trip to my favorite diner. It is situated in an old building that has been around for the last 100 years and the people there are pure Kentucky. The food is good, the coffee is hot, and the waitresses like to call me "sweetie".

I love it.

I was there this morning and happened to see an older woman sitting at the table next to me. She was there with her son and they seemed to be having a nice time. The son paid the bill and offered to help his mother put her jacket on. She stood up slowly and said the following statement out loud:

"Thank you for breakfast. The food just tastes better when you are able to share a meal with someone."

Her son gave a knowing smile and eased his mother out of the restaurant into the crisp morning air. I kept my head buried in my newspaper but the tears that welled up in my eyes were evident for all to see. The comment was so poignant. The only way that she makes that statement is if she has spent considerable time eating alone. I pictured her in this old house, eating oatmeal, and staring blindly out the window. I could see her eyes flickering as she strained to see down the path...hoping that this was the morning when someone would come and share a meal with her. I could see the sadness that clouds her face when she clears the table and sits down to watch her TV shows.

It just didn't taste good.

Loneliness is such a powerful emotion. It is a feeling that cuts like a knife and then spreads through the body like a fast moving cancer. It will make you cry, it will make you scream, it will control every thought that you have. People will try and tell you that it can be cured with a good book or a night out on the town, but it can't. Loneliness is an emotion that is caused by the brain looking around the room and realizing that nobody is going to come and say hello. It is caused by our eyes desperately looking for a recognizable smile, our ears listening for a soothing voice, our fingers searching for that squeeze of reassurance. We move around the confines of our life and peer into the dark corners of our minds hoping that we forgot a piece of the puzzle. We get down on the floor and pray that there is more to life than waiting for that special someone to walk through the door.

We want the food to taste better, but we lack the spices to do it.

The problem is that we tend to look inward to find those spices that are missing in our lives. We sit in our homes and think that surely we must be doing something wrong. It must be a childhood or relationship issue that has caused us to be all alone. We keep trying to change ourselves into people that we think others want to be with and then are amazed when the world turns its back on us once again. We lay down to go to sleep at night and wonder why there continues to be an empty spot staring back at us.

The trick is to be able to look in the mirror and understand that what you are looking at is a God given image. Loneliness is actually a cruel mirage given to us by the world we live in. This world is packed with people that walk in and out of our lives each day, but yet they remain faceless. God gives us people each day that can change our world into something unbelievable but we have to be able to open our eyes. If we can only look within ourselves to find the cure than we are missing the million other antibodies that God provides each day. Get out into the world and see who is out there! Don't worry about being the right kind of person, don't try and be "that guy" or "that girl". Just be. Shake the burden of always having to be a friend to a bank of superficial people. Instead, walk proudly through life and find the "spices" that make your existence mean something.

Make this meal called Life taste good. Allow the Master Chef to provide you with the spices needed to make the food melt in your mouth and your heart skip a beat. This is a wonderful world that we have been given and God is the great provider.

This journey does indeed taste better when we are able to share the meal with someone.

Invite God to sit with you and let your taste buds revel in the experience.

The Six

2006-11-09T06:08:00.000-08:00

The quiet rock. The time manager. The fearful leader. The energizer bunny. The mediator. The planner.

I call them "The Six".

I started at Hopeful in August of 2005 and it wasn't long before I noticed the special aspects of these six youth. They all brought something different to the table and yet they seemed to be drawn together by some invisible connection. I had been given the task of turning around a youth group that had gone through some rough times and these six were going to be the foundation of what was to come. Like a new coach I wanted to see what I was working with and off I went to try and see what these youth had inside of them. What I found was a myriad of talents and convictions that if mixed together with God's love was a powerful concoction that would spread like wildfire.

Patience. They all had this unbelievable ability to be patient with each other. They seemed to unconsciously realize that in order to work together as a group they were going to have to accept each other's idiosyncrasies. They didn't try and change each other into carbon copies of one another, instead they took each person and molded the group instead. They took individual personalities and put them together into a collage of one another.

Love. There are many different types of love present in this world we live in. The kind that was present in this group was what would you find in a close knit family. They honestly cared for what was going on in the other's life. If there was a success they celebrated, if there was a defeat they supported, and if there was a tragedy they grieved. They were excited to see each other and they knew that even on their worst day a smile would be presented to them if needed.

Understanding. This group was not perfect by any means. They fought sometimes and even threw some cruel comments at each other. This is a normal part of life and they recognized that forgiveness was a huge part of any group dynamic. They had an understanding that even during a bad moment that they were still a family and at the end of the day...they would still be together.

This group of young people is a great example of how we should all live our lives. Imagine if in your own family there was a degree of patience, love, and understanding. Imagine if you looked at your family as a team that was taking on the world with God at the forefront. What would happen if love was the biggest emotion present in your house? What battles would be dropped and what accomplishments would occur? Could your home life benefit from trying to understand where everyone is? If the term "I forgive you" became common...what would happen? Each family is filled with different personalities and convictions, but imagine if you could take those differences and glue them together into a powerful entity of love?

We are all different, but with God's love we become the same.

Lauren, Randall, Sammy, Jeb, Mike, Justin...........

The Six.

Could You Handle It?

2006-11-06T12:15:00.000-08:00

What if you were blind?

What if there was no way for you to see the world that you live in, and yet the whole world can see you?

Could you handle it?

Michelle can.

Michelle is a friend of mine who is blind, and she is one of those individuals who walks into a room and brings a smile to every one's face. She has a strong faith and will talk openly about the struggles and successes of her life. I have found myself listening intently to her stories for they are filled with hope and courage. She makes other people better and that is a talent that very few have.

We were in the middle of a group discussion when she made a contemplative comment:

"You know...I’m just blind. It's not that big a deal."

Then another woman who was sitting next to her, leaned over and said:

"You might be blind physically, but I'm just blind."

Wow.

That is such a profound statement on the nature of our faith. We can spend our whole lives loving God and then tragedy strikes. Suddenly, we throw the covers over our heads and shut out what we know to be true. It is easy to have faith when life is going well. It is easy to believe when the children are healthy, the jobs are good, the food is plentiful, the pain is gone, and the sky is blue when we wake up. We will shout it from the mountain tops that, "Our God is an awesome God!” when the job promotion comes through and the bank account begins to grow. We will gladly tell everyone we know that they should turn their life over to God, while standing at the gas station filling up our SUV's and Luxury cars.

What happens when Life gives you that swift uppercut? The one you don't see coming. The one that is given by that evil little guy who taps you on the shoulder in the middle of the night and gives you a sucker punch when you open your eyes. How does that Faith feel now? Is God still awesome? That person who pulls up next to you at the gas station, do you still want to tell them how good God is? How does that potluck at church taste now? Is God still the priority in your life?

"You might be blind physically...but I'm just blind"

I hate being sucker punched...especially by that little evil guy in the middle of the night. The biggest problem that I have is I can't stop it from happening. The act of taking a punch is a natural part of life and there is nothing I can do about it. There will always be death, disease, heartache, anger and hate...I'm sorry...but it's true. The big issue is whether or not we accept God as our Father even when the bad things of life happen.

The answer lies in how Michelle lives her life. She is blind, and lives her life in a completely different dimension than most of us. Yet, she lives her life just as we all do. She gets up in the morning, eats her breakfast, goes to the bus stop, gets on the bus and rides into downtown. She gets off the bus, enters her office and begins her day. She moves through God's world completely trusting in the senses that He gave her. Of course, she has a choice each day as to whether or not she actually heads out into the world. There is no one who would fault her for deciding on any given morning that she would rather stay in bed and give into the cards that life has dealt her. She could easily ask for the world to wait on her and coast through life.

Instead...she trusts.

She chooses to trust in the world that God has provided for her.

She gets up each day and allows God to lead her. She has told stories of standing at the bus stop and hearing arguments that are going on around her. She tells of being fearful that something would happen to her and she would be powerless to stop it. She does not run. She stands, trusts, and gets on the bus. She knows that she has the love of God in her heart and that trumps any fear that she might feel.

We lack faith. We do not allow ourselves to trust that God will take care of us in all situations. God is our Father. Do we honestly think that our Father will not stick by us when life gives us those nasty uppercuts? The bad things happen and we lose our minds! We run around trying to fix the problems and just sink farther into the mire of despair.

Michelle is teaching us every day what it means to have faith. We all will be dealt cards that we don't want, but we have to include God in the darkness of tragedy. God is not a giver of success.... He is the comforter of Life.

Michelle, you might be blind, but you see life better than I ever will.

I'm God and I Approve this Message

2006-11-03T07:15:00.000-08:00

I love you.

I forgive you.

I will always be there for you.

I cry with you.

I laugh with you.

I sit with you.

I work for you.

I made you.

I am making a home for you.

I died for you.

Vote for me......

I'm God and I approve this message.

The Lucky Lady

2006-11-02T05:38:00.000-08:00

When I was growing up there was this woman that lived in our neighborhood who we called "The Lucky Lady". She was an older woman that lived in a small home and from what we could tell she lived alone. I found her during a Halloween adventure when I was quite young. She opened the door and began to hand out the candy, my eyes widened as my young hands began to feel the weight of full size Snicker and Hershey bars fall into my bag. I can remember looking up at her smiling face and thinking that she just might be the greatest person on the face of this earth.

That Halloween night began a relationship which spanned over 15 years. Whenever I had to sell raffle tickets for football, candy for soccer, or wanted to increase the value of my Halloween stash I would make sure to knock on The Lucky Lady's door. I remember that the older I got the more I began to take note of her features and mannerisms. She had crinkly eyes, which made sense since she was a person that always had a big smile. She always seemed to be wearing a bathrobe, and the smell that came out of her house was a mix of freshly baked cookies and mothballs. I noticed that she would never actually come out of her house, but would stand behind her screen door and then open it just wide enough to give her treasure to my little hands. I loved this lady and she is fond memory from my childhood.

I don't know her name.

I don't know her real name. I don't know anything about her. I don't know where she is from, what she does for a living, who she loves, who she grieves for, what makes her laugh, what makes her cry. I do know that when I needed something she was the first door I knocked on and she gave willingly without question or remorse. The door opened, she would smile, I would ask for what I wanted, she would normally give me more than I would ask for, I would say thank you and go back to my life.

We tend to treat God the same way don't we? Life is this constant whirlwind of activity, conversations, successes, and tragedies. There is a permanent hum that seems to envelop this world and it stems from the energy that is given off by all of us moving at the same time, trying to survive this crazy place we live in. We don't spend a whole lot of time thinking about God as a constant presence in our life. We are much to busy to realize that He is with us every step that we take. We can't even comprehend that in the midst of all of the chaos, He is the glue that holds this whole puzzle together. We choose to look at the obvious and disregard the possible. God is something that we talk about, but don't allow to be a part of our every day life.

That is until we need something.

Then we run to grab our trusty bag, and we march off to see the person who will grant us the gifts that we want. We walk up to the door, knock a couple of times, and wait for The Lucky Lady to come and see us. The door opens and we are warmed by the smile that radiates down on us. We hold up our bag, ask for a gift, and watch with silent expectation as it falls into our life. A quick "thank you" escapes from our lips, and we turn and sprint back to the world, eager to jump back into the chaos with our new found present.

If you were to look back over your shoulder you would see The Lucky Lady give a little wave, shake her head in bemusement, and slowly close the door. She knows that you will be back, and maybe then you will stay a little longer. There is so much that she would like to tell you, so much she would like to share with you, and so much that she wants to give you. She answers the door each time with a smile and tries her hardest to help you, but the biggest thing she waits for are four simple words:

Can I come in?

He has so much to show you, so much He would like to tell you, and so much He would like to give you. He will always open the door when you knock, but I urge you to not just stand outside and ask for a handout. Take that next step and ask to come in. Walk through that door and see what is inside. It is a house that has the ability to save your life.

Knock....Knock....

Can I come in?

When love is lost...God is found

2006-10-30T14:31:00.000-08:00

It's dark.

There was a time when someone told you that being afraid of the dark was normal so you are okay with the darkness, but it is still dark. If someone asked you when the darkness started you would be hard pressed to give them an accurate answer. There were some specific moments leading up to the darkness, but the exact time when the lights went out is still up in the air. It is an odd feeling living a life without color, but it has been going on so long that you have just chalked it up as the life you were given. Every now and then you try to add some light to this existence, but the glow is as fleeting as a match. People have given all kinds of advice and they all sound great in theory, but the darkness is a powerful entity, which doesn't want to let go. What people don't understand is that in your life the only constant has been the darkness...friends have come and gone, jobs have been discovered and lost, hobbies started and left unfinished...but the darkness has always been there. It is a loyal companion that is there when you wake up and when you attempt to close your eyes at the end of the day. It has become.... dare I say.... your friend.

Life without color is a life absent of one of the most important emotions known to humankind.

Love.

There are all types and many different levels. There is physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, and that just names a few. The problem with love is that we simply don't know how to handle it. It is such a potent feeling that we sometimes feel like a five year old learning how to ride a bike, we just keep falling. It is one of the few words in our language that if uttered can turn lives upside down or right side up. It is one of the few words that if not uttered can ruin a life forever. If the right person says it to you.... the world becomes a colorful playground that has endless possibilities. If the right person denies you that emotion then a cloud that is darker than any storm envelops your life.

There are so many of us out there that have been denied this basic human emotion by parents, spouses, children, co-workers, teammates, boyfriends, girlfriends, fiancés...the list goes on. When love is denied we unconsciously start looking for other things that we can attach to. The next thing we know the bottle in our hands becomes a source of affection, the needle sliding into our arm fills us with a needed euphoria, the sight of our weight sliding into double digits fills us with hope, and the bed we lie in becomes a safe place to shut out the world from.

The problem with the above reactions is that they all produce artificial love. This is a type of love that doesn't come with the same benefits of true love. There is no energy and the colors of the world fail to appear. A veil of darkness is quickly dropped over the receiver's life and soon they retreat into an artificial world run by an artificial love.

I know the sadness one can feel when it seems as if life has dealt you a deck full of jokers. We all starve for love and some of us are lucky enough to have an abundance of it and then there are others who have given up hope.

If you are living a life of darkness or if any of you find yourself not being able to see your own hand in front of your face...please listen.

There is one individual who never runs, never takes a break, never decides that His love has run out, and above all is present in all aspects of your life. He sits in that dark room with you, He holds you while the tears run down your face, He attempts to remove the bottle from your grip, He hurts when the scale continues to drop, He winces when the needle pierces your skin, and He tries heartily to get you out of the bed each morning. He is always there.

We all want and need to hear the words "I love you". It is a natural human condition and we need those words in order to reach our fullest potential. It is a true statement that we may go through times in our lives where we feel as if "Love" has left us and that our life is helpless. In those dark times I urge you to take a moment and just listen. In amongst those feelings of despair I guarantee that you will hear the words you long for:

"I love you."

The world might be dark, but with those three simple words God can turn your life back to a world of color and light.

All we have to do is listen.

What if you already have it all?

2006-10-25T20:47:00.000-07:00

**This devotion has been published as the feature article in the November issue of Faithwriters Magazine. Please see my favorite links and click on Faithwritersmagazine.com to see the article starting on November 1st.

I want it all.

What does that comment mean anyway?

I want it all.

I have never quite understood why people let that comment fly. How do you know when you have it all? Is there a list that I am supposed to have in my possession which I can check off as I make my collections? Will alarms go off and balloons fall from the ceiling when I make that magical last purchase? Will the credit card companies stop sending me advertisements since it will be a fruitless pursuit? Will I sit back in my house and just relax for the rest of my life? How will I know that I truly have it all?

Will somebody please give me the answer to this age old question!

What if you already have it all?

Excuse me?

What if you already have it all?

Who is this?

God.

Oh. Sorry about that little rant earlier.

Don't worry about it. I do have a question though.

What is it?

I have given you everything that is needed to live and yet you want more. Why?

I like new cars....and of course new homes.....and don't forget....

Come on! I'm serious about this! Have I not provided you with a family that loves you? When times were bad did I not make sure that I carried you through the turmoil and pain? Have I not filled your brain with memories that will last a life time? Have I not put people in your life who support and care for you? When it is cold outside is there not shelter over your head? I held your hand while you cried and held my gut while you laughed. I have stood beside you while you buried your loved ones and watched with joy at the birth of your child. I have loved you unconditionally and all I get is the knowledge that you like cars. I want more...much more.

What is it that you want? I don't have a whole lot to give and to be honest I don't really understand what you actually want. Tell me what it is and I will try to give it to you.

I want your Faith.

Excuse me?

I want your faith! I want you to believe in your heart that I have the ability to lead you through your life. I want you to wake up in the morning without fear of anger or retribution. I want you to truly understand what Christmas is and why I cry every Good Friday. I want you to look at the cross and get shivers as the magnitude of the sacrifice which was made comes into view. I want you to love my son and understand that the pain he went through was real and done entirely for you. I want your faith, hope, and love. I want you.

I....I don't know how to give you all of that. I have always tried to live my life according to what you want, but sometimes it's hard. I just want a road map or written directions on how to get to where you need me to be.

I gave you that road map a long time ago, but many of you seem to have forgotten where it was put.

Would you mind pointing me in the right direction?

The answer to all of your questions lies on the cross. Look there for the ability to see what the past, present and future will be. I have given you everything that you need...it is up to you whether my gifts will be wasted or used.

I wanted it all.

I know. Give me your all and I will continue to give you mine. I love you.

I love you to. Thank you.....for everything.

Would you buy back the past?

2006-10-23T23:29:00.000-07:00

What if you were given the opportunity to buy one thing which would change your life forever?

What would it be?

I posed this question to a christian discussion group that I lead and was surprised at the inability of most to answer the question quickly. There was a lot of thought and I could tell that this was a question which did not have an easy conclusion. Then one of the women spoke:

"Can I buy back my past?"

I have to be honest that when I was preparing for the class this was not one of the answers which I was prepared to deal with. It sucked the breath out of me actually. Then I started to really think.....what if you could buy back your past.....how far back would you go? Is there a specific moment that pops up in your mind? Is there a period of time that you look back at and wish that you could do over again? If you could buy back that moment.....would you?

It is a fascinating question. We are all living our lives today based on decisions that we made years, months, days, hours and even seconds ago. Every step that I take sets the course for what the next step will be.

Every step that you take sets the course for what the next step will be.

I can think of various moments in my life that I would love to go back and re-do. I would have played football longer, not backed down to Kara Gleason, called Kevin Fann one last time, wrote more letters to MiMi and Pop T, and I am pretty sure that I would have actually kissed my Jr. Prom date. Those things I listed are child's play to some of the life changing events that I know some of you have. I am sure that you can pick exact moments or maybe even a specific moment in which your life took a new direction. Whether it be that first drink, first cigarette, first drug, first sexual experience, first time being hit, first time making yourself throw-up, first time cutting...and that is just scratching at the surface.

It would be nice to be able to "Buy Back" those moments that cause us great pain. Those moments that we don't tell anyone about because if they knew......well..... let's not even think about that.

So would you? If given the opportunity to buy back your past.....could you hand over the money?

Before you say yes.....think about this.

Where would you be? I can say with good certainty that you would not be sitting at your computer right now. I wonder if you would have those beautiful children, those great friends, that person who you helped the other day would never have met you......the list goes on. We like to think that if we could just go back and change the bad things in our life than we would be happier in our present time. We tend to forget important aspects to this whole process.

There is a constant threat of pain. The bad things of life will continue to happen. Love hurts.

We may want to change a certain piece of our past but that does not prevent life from hitting us with other types of pain and suffering. That is the eternal mystery of life: "Why do bad things happen?"

The reality is that as long as the human race has the power of choice then bad things will continue to happen. That means if you changed the direction of your life from one path and put it on another......there is still going to be pain. We will always have to deal with that aspect of life and the sooner we realize that the better off we will be.

I propose we look at this in another manner. God gave you a life that is filled with the power to choose. We make choices every day and some of them are good and some of them are bad. Those bad choices may lead to some very painful experiences, but don't forget to look for the good in everything. We are given the ability to make choices with the knowledge that God loves us no matter which way we go. That means when you are overloaded with grief due to a decision that you made.....God cries with you. When you look back at that pivotal moment and just want to scream.....God yells with you. When you sit at night and listen to the heat kick on and off because the sound is comforting.....God is right next to you. The choice may have been bad but we have a God with a short memory so shouldn't we practice that same talent?

One more thing. God has given us the power of choice. That means that we are able to take any bad situation and choose to make it a positive. Those drug years? Make them the catalyst of a life full of passion and energy. That first drink? Make it the reason why you desire to help people with the same affliction. Those children that maybe came a little earlier than expected? Make sure that they take the world by storm. The years of anorexia or overeating? Take the pain by the horns and make sure that others know that survival is possible.

Make your bad choices in life the ones that change the world. Parents always tell their children to learn from their mistakes. Let us all take it a little further and try to have others learn from our missteps. Each step we take (even the bad ones) sets the course for the next step we take.

The bottom line is that we can't go back and change our actions from the past. God gave us this life and maybe......just maybe......by living today we can turn the pain we suffered yesterday into the joy we experience tomorrow.

Make the choice.

The Book

2006-10-19T05:53:00.000-07:00

I was told last night that I am a private person and that I tend to do a lot of listening of other people's problems rather than sharing things about myself. I agreed with them and tried to share with these people why that is. It is very simple actually.....but the simplicity of it....confuses most people.

I'm just trying to get to heaven. My daughter is there and I want to see her.

That's it.

I made a decision after she passed that I had better do whatever it takes to make sure that I get to where her new home was. I literally fell to my knees in a hotel room in Grand Rapids and asked God to just take me in whatever direction He needed me to go. I gave up the fight and submitted myself to Him. A couple of weeks later I found myself interviewing for a youth minister job in Kentucky......I love the way that God works. I get up every morning determined to try and do what God wants me to do that day. Somedays I get it right and others I don't....but I try. I have decided that I am going to work my butt off until God tells me to stop.....when that happens I know I'll be able to see my daughter again.

Isn't that all we want? An all expense paid trip to heaven? In the back of our minds we hope that when our time here on earth ends that we go up rather than down. It is scary for some people and for others it is a point of joy. We all have sinned and we all will continue to sin throughout our lives.....and each time we wince and shake our heads in disgust. We hope that the sin we committed isn't the "final straw", the "final chance", and with one big swoop God erases our names from the Book of Good People.

Guess what? The Book of Good People is only a one page hardcover with one name in it: Jesus Christ. None of us are worthy to be entered into that book. We sin and no matter how hard we try to stop...we will always be "addicted" to that cruel drug.

I may get up everyday and work to see where God wants me to be, but I still sin. I don't like that I do it and there are times I get very frustrated with myself. I would like nothing more than to have a day in which I could successfully go to bed and feel as if I have been "pure".....still waiting for that day to happen. The question that then comes up is, "How can you be so sure that you will see your daughter again, especially since you are a proclaimed sinner?"

The answer? It is because I have a reserved slot in the best seller: The Book of Saved People (which by the way is the powerful sequel to The Book of Good People). I believe that God sent His only son to die for our sins. That belief is my one way ticket to my daughter. I may sin and I may have some really bad days in which I am sure that God is shaking His head in utter disbelief.....but I am human. The fact of being human means that I am not perfect and that I have a Father who understands and loves me for what I am. I am forgiven therefore I get a spot in the book. Which means that when I sign my name to my slot.....I know that my daughter will be right next to me and that makes me smile. A lot.

The cool thing is that all of us have a spot in the book.....we just have to decide if we believe in what the author is telling us.

Do you believe?

Change is good? Prove it.

2006-10-17T09:52:00.000-07:00

This weekend my wife and I had this great idea that we were going to change one of the rooms in our house. It had been used as a dining room and now we wanted to make it into an office. We got very excited and started to move furniture, take down pictures, hang new frames and we even added a small TV so we can watch our favorite shows while we "work". It was a fun day and at the end we just sat back and enjoyed what we had accomplished. We had successfully changed a piece of our life and had done it without a lot of pain or anguish.

Change is good when you can see it coming.

What about the change that you can't see coming?

The kind of change that sneaks up on you in the middle of the night and scares the daylights out of you. The kind of change that blindsides you when you are looking the other way or the change that happens in the blink of an eye. What about the change that happens without you even knowing it occurred?

Change is good? Prove it.

When change occurs we tend to want to fight it. We like normalcy, calmness and a sense of security in our lives and change brings upheaval, chaos, confusion and fear. We've all had to deal with change. Whether it be a lost job, death of a loved one, divorce, new child, marriage, new school......the list is endless. The question is not are we able to deal with the change but are we able to be patient with the change?

I truly believe that change poses an opportunity for all of us. I believe that many times God changes our lives in order to get us going in the direction that we need to be headed. We aren't able to see the future, and that scares us, but if we have faith in God than we should be able to trust that the future will take care of itself. Patience is what is needed when God throws us those curve balls.

When change occurs I tend to immediately start up a conversation with God. It is important for me to start that dialogue because when a dramatic change occurs it usually means that my life is about to change direction. It doesn't scare me, but it does put me on edge. The big changes in my life have always turned out to be positive, but it normally happened over a long period of time. The hardest part has always been to just wait for the change to run its course. My instinct is to jump into the fray and to try and fight my way out of any situation that may be affecting me. That has never worked.......ever. In fact, it usually made the change process harder and longer. If I just sit still for a second and let God do what He needs to do, my life has always been enriched in the end.

I hate to say this but change is a part of life. There is no way to combat change.....for just trying to fight against change is actually giving into the change process (think about that one for a second). If change is going to happen and there is nothing that we can do about it......then maybe we should learn to accept it.

When that change sneaks up on you in the middle of the night and scares you to death.....just be patient. It may be scary at first but once you turn the light on and get a good look at it....I bet you will actually be looking at a beautiful gift.

Change is a present from God that can last a lifetime.........sometimes it just takes a long time to open it.

Just keep walking..

2006-10-12T05:38:00.000-07:00

"Why won't you tell me that it's almost over?" (quote from "The War" by Angels and Airwaves)

Have you ever looked up into the heavens and wanted to just shout this at the top of your lungs?
I have.

We spend our lives trying to do right. We get up every morning, take our showers, brush our teeth and head out into the world thinking that maybe today will be different. We keep our heads focused on the ground making sure that we don't take any missteps. We sit in our offices, vehicles, restaurants, retail shops, schools and try to do our best. It is like we are all in one big kindergarten class and we have been promised an extra fifteen minutes of recess if we will just be good for a little bit.

Then we turn on the TV or open the newspaper and the reality of the world that we live in becomes very apparent. We hear stories of children being shot by adults, entire countries being shoved towards civil war, destructive weapons being developed, disease, famine and that is all in the first five minutes of the program.

When I played football I remember how if one of us made a mistake the entire team was forced to do laps around the field. It was suppose to build team unity...I just remember being really tired. It is very easy to feel as if our fellow teammates on this planet keep making mistakes that we all have to pay for. We walk out into the world each day and try to put our best foot forward and then a milkman decides that children are just targets...........all of a sudden our best foot doesn't seem to matter that much anymore. It is enough to make you want to run out into the street, look up into the heavens and just scream:

"Why won't you tell me that it's almost over!!!"

We are taught from the beginning that when God comes back to the world we will either be on the right side of the fence or the wrong one. There is a deep, unconscious fear that we will not be ready when that event happens. We try so hard to be good and the pressure can sometimes be just maddening!!

Peace my friends.......have peace.

I will not debate the fact that our world looks to be in a period of confusion and pain.....it is. What I can do is take you to a reference book that shares some great insight into this problem: The Bible.

"Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you might be overjoyed when his glory is revealed."
1 Peter 4: 12-13

Take a moment today and just look. Take a look around and really watch all of your teammates that play in this game with you. We all play so hard and want to succeed so bad. We don't want to disappoint our Father and there is this underlying fear that we will. So I will let you in on a little secret:

God loves you.

He is a parent who just wants His children to do their best and learn from their mistakes. This world maybe out of control but it has been that way since we decided that a piece of fruit looked tasty. Keep putting your best foot forward....because each step we take gets us closer to our goal.

Just keep walking and remember who walks with you.

Underwear and Socks

2006-10-10T06:18:00.000-07:00

I am going to admit something that many men out there will not talk about. I love the show "Grey's Anatomy". There it is.....I've said it. I will run home from a meeting or end conversations early to make sure that I am there when this crazy hospital in Seattle opens it's doors each week. I apologize to men everywhere for admitting this guilty pleasure but sometimes it is better to just give in.

This past week they centered the show around a little girl that had a disease which caused her to be able to endure great amounts of pain. She could take a couple of beatings with a baseball bat and not even bat an eye. Because of this disease she ends up having to go into surgery for massive internal bleeding and in the middle of the surgery one of the doctors says something along the lines of: "God gave us pain for a reason". Of course there is this profound silence as the other doctors take in this grand statement and then all of a sudden I am watching a commercial for some person running for some political office. Such is the life of a hospital drama.

"God gave us pain for a reason"

Really?

This great loving entity that we call God gave us a gift of pain? It doesn't seem like much of present to me. In fact it feels like I just raced down the stairs on Christmas morning only to find out that the really big package in the corner is a lifetime supply of underwear and socks.

Wait a minute.....that actually makes sense!! (I am having a Eureka moment!!)

Follow me for a second. Nobody wants underwear and socks for Christmas, let alone a lifetime supply of them!! The problem is that underwear and socks tend to be a necessity in our lives, which means that we should actually be overjoyed that someone would be smart enough and would love us enough to give us the ability to have it for the rest of eternity. That big box over in the corner may not be shiny, colorful and full of toys.......but we will probably use it more than any of the other gifts that we receive.

This parallels the gift of pain. Think about your life without pain. At first it sounds like a great idea but dig a little deeper and it quickly becomes apparent that life would be an empty shell without it. I love my wife. How do I know that? Because without her I would feel great pain. Having the knowledge that my life would be painful without her causes me to love her. That is what pain does for us. It is a cause and effect issue. The knowledge that pain exists directs us in most of our relationships and actions. Think about all of the things that you have gone through in your life....good and bad. How many of those things were determined by either the actual feeling of pain or the fear of pain? How many times have you done something "painful" just to remind yourself that you are alive? How many times have you broken down in the dark of night because you have been hiding pain? How many times has the "pain" been so great that the only option has been to fall to your knees and pray? How many times has life actually felt good because you know how you felt when the "pain" was present?

In order to truly love life......you have had to hate life. In order to feel true love.......you have to feel true pain.

Pain may hurt but it has the power to love. This was proven on that fateful day when a 33 yr old man hung on a cross, nails embedded in his flesh, pain wracking his body, and died. This man had a horrible death....but from the pain of that day came a Love that surpasses all understanding.

God not only knows pain.......He lived it.

It is a gift that we may not want but it is one that we must have. Don't be afraid of the box full of underwear and socks.....in fact open the gift and wear them proudly.

I may not be able to see your gifts of pain, but they are still there.

Just like underwear and socks.

Get out into the wilderness...

2006-10-05T06:27:00.000-07:00

Why do we insist on making sure that we are never alone? Why do we break up with someone that we know is bad for us and then go right back to them just so we can feel "together"? Why do people settle for "good" when if they were patient, "great" would surely come along? It isn't a bad thing to go back to "comfortable", but why settle for it?

Why do we hate being alone?

I think it is because we are human. I think from the beginning of time we have been wired to want to be with other people. We are a social bunch and there is nothing that we like more than being around other people that compliment our strengths and weaknesses. When you ask people what their biggest fear is, many will answer "being alone" or "dying alone". That deep rooted fear drives many of our actions in the relationship department. When I counsel women and men in regards to relationships I am always amazed that they are more than willing to stay with people that they know are not good for them....for the sole purpose of not being alone. That is a pretty strong statement when you think about it. We would rather have less of a life and be with someone, than be alone for a little while and most likely have a better quality of life. Loneliness is a powerful emotion isn't it?

Let's look at this from another direction though. What if we need to be lonely in order to figure out what we truly want. What if the time we spend with ourselves is vital to the finding of that person who is going to make us truly happy. How can we as humans know what we want from other people if we don't even understand who we are? If I don't know my own strengths, weaknesses, desires, and fears......how am I going to be able to find a person who compliments me?

Look at what God did to Jesus. He sends him out to the wilderness for 40 days and basically throws everything but the kitchen sink at him. When we read the story there is a quick acknowledgement that 40 days is a long time and it must have been hard for Jesus to stay focused. Think about it for a moment. 40 days would be starting on October 1st and then being alone with no human contact until November 9th. I personally think it would be very hard to do. I find it interesting that God sends Jesus out on this assignment early on in his ministry...and it was done to teach and help Jesus grow as a person.

Being alone for a while is not a bad thing. In fact, it can actually benefit you in the long run. I know that there are some of you out there who are terrified of being lonely. I know that there are some of you that think that the person you are with is the only person who will ever actually love you. I know that there are those of you who are convinced that love is not something that truly exists so you better just hang on to what you got.

Don't settle for second best. Don't go through life afraid to see what God has in store for you. Don't be afraid to be alone for a little while. Enjoy the moments that you have with yourself and figure out what type of person God wants you to be. There are people out there who are just waiting to have you walk into their lives. Get out into the wilderness and see what you are made of.....you just might be surprised at who is wandering through the woods with you.

Sometimes you need to be alone in order to end up together.

Think about it.

What if God doesn't have a back?

2006-10-03T06:29:00.000-07:00

"Many people want to serve God........as advisors."

That is such a great quote and it was given to me in an email by one of my parishoners. I think it speaks volumes for how many of us view our relationship with God. There is always this sneaking suspicion that God may not know what He is doing or that maybe He has forgotten us in what surely must be a busy work day.

How many times have you looked around at your surroundings and looked up to the heavens and thought:

"Uhhhh........God. This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I said that I wanted to turn my life over to you. I was thinking more along the lines of sunny Florida or maybe this credit card debt could disappear, or a bigger house? I mean don't get me wrong...I will work for you...I just want to be paid for it. So I'll have my people call your people......let's do lunch."

That is how it works here on Earth and so of course we expect God to follow the rules. There is always a trade of services. If you scratch my back.....I'll scratch yours.

One problem: What if God doesn't have a back?

We have this huge mountain that we don't seem to be able to get over: God is bigger than all of us. We like to think of God as this nine to fiver. He gets up, takes a shower, maybe stops for a cup of coffee at McDonalds, flips open the laptop and deals with the problems of the world. If something needs to get done....He wheels and deals....making sure that everyone is on the same page.

"God...Todd is on line 1....he is willing to put some extra hours in this week....but wants to be able to get that HiDef TV which is on sale at Best Buy."

Something tells me that this is not how the whole thing works. God is our creator....He made us. Therefore we don't have the right to dictate to Him how our lives are supposed to go. We don't get to make deals, we don't get to stand defiantly and make statements of anger, we don't get to walk around like we know how the world works and make people think that we control the destiny of others.

We do get the honor of having Him as our Father. We do get the ability to fall into His arms when life gets to hard, we get to sit in utter disbelief as children are born, we get to smile warmly while watching the colors of a rainbow light up the sky, sunsets and sunrises are daily gifts we get to have, we get to live in a place that is so rich with color that we know God must have an artistic side to Him. We are given the time honored tradition of stargazing, the ability to dream, the ability to choose, the ability to give love, receive love, and make love. We can cry and smile at the same time. We can screw up and be forgiven and then screw up again...and then be forgiven again.

We get to work for a Father who loves us so much that He sent his own son to this crazy place and then had him killed in order to show us how much He truly loves us.

With all that is given to us......do we really have the right to dictate to God how we want our life to go? Do we really have the ability to control a power as great as His love?

Faith my friends......have faith that He is leading you in the direction that must be taken. Give up the need to control your life and enjoy the ride......God knows the way.

He may not have a back......but He certainly will scratch yours till the end of eternity.

Toad Trouble

2006-09-28T05:53:00.000-07:00

When I was in second grade I had a nickname bestowed upon me: Toad.

I hated it. My classmates would wander around the classroom calling out:

"Toad Trouble! He likes flies!"

Of course I would get angry and say stupid things like:

"Oh yeah......your.....your mother dresses you funny" (I know it was very original).

My comments never seemed to do any damage, in fact it seemed to egg them on even more. I had a period of time where I dreaded going to school and I would sit at my desk with my head lowered...trying desperately to get away from my new name: Toad.

Then one day I came in from recess and there was a picture that someone had drawn sitting on my desk. It was a picture of stick figure with a long tongue sticking out of his mouth, at the end of the tongue was a fly. The title of the picture? (you guessed it!): Toad Trouble.

I just stared incredulously at the picture and I felt all of these little eyes boring into the back of my head. They were waiting for the reaction and I knew it. The tears welled up in my seven year old eyes, my tiny fists clenched in anger, and my mouth turned down in the deepest of pouts. I slowly turned to my fellow second graders and prepared to unleash a flurry of insults that surely would send me to detention for eternity.

I looked into their eyes and I saw that they were all on the verge of busting a gut! Then the weirdest thing happened: I smiled. I don't know why.....but I did. Then I began to laugh and lifted up the picture as if it was my trophy. I laughed like a crazy person and made it look like this insulting piece of paper was the greatest thing I ever had the priviledge of holding. My classmates just stared. A couple of them tried to poke fun at me but the moment was gone. I had taken away their thunder and now they were left with a crazy seven year old to deal with.

I was never called Toad Trouble again.

As we make our way through life there will always be those people who want to call you "Toad Trouble". Our initial reaction is to fight back, get angry, show them who's boss. It feels great at the outset, but in the long run it normally just gives people more ammunition to shoot back at you. Why do we as humans feel the constant need to one up each other? Why do we have to be set in a constant state of competition? Why is it when I get up in the morning I am making mental notes of how I am going to be better than the world today. Why do I sit at a coffee shop and size up every man and woman who walks in the door?

I don't even know you and I already have categorized, sorted, and placed you into a slot.

Everybody just stop for a second and listen. We are not in charge! Never have been and never will be. I may look different than you, talk different than you, eat different foods than you, but let's put all that aside and look at what we have in common.

A heart.

We each have one and it functions the same way in all of us. There is no southern heart, northern heart, female heart, arab heart, christian heart, british heart, american heart, chinese heart.........there is just a heart. We all are able to get up and move through our lives due to a common miracle that we each carry within us. Think of that.........this little muscle controls so much and yet we disregard its power each day.

So wake up world!! Stop calling people "Toad Trouble" and begin to recognize that we are all here on this crazy, spinning rock together. Walk out of your house, apartment, dorm room and take a good look at the people you share this world with. We all have hearts given to us by God....let's not spend so much time trying to tear them out of each other.

God loves you.....always has.....always will.

Signed,
Todd aka "Toad"

Sometimes all you can do is breathe.....

2006-09-26T05:31:00.000-07:00

Breathe in.........Breathe out.........Breathe in..........Breathe out........

You are alive. Today.....right now.....you are alive. I can't tell you what is going to happen tomorrow....in fact I can't tell you what is going to happen five minutes from now. I can tell you that right now......you are alive.

I walked out of the hospital into the morning air and took a breath. The crisp air filled my lungs and it felt good. I could still hear the screaming of the mother and her children in my head....it had been a heartbreaking night. The wife had woken up and found her husband face first on the floor, she tried for a pulse and couldn't find one, 911 was called and that is when I entered their life.

The alarms shook me out of a deep sleep and I moved quickly to the truck, the rest of my crew all moving in that synchronized dance that experienced teams have. The red lights and siren were turned on and we the angels of mercy raced through the empty streets to the crying woman.

We ran into the house and continued the dance of life.....the only problem was her husband didn't want to dance that morning. We tried everything that we knew and yet he refused to cooperate. He was gone. We put him into the ambulance and with great futility tried one more time to bring him back to his wife and children, but it was not to be. The hospital doors swung open and we raced in with me doing my best "ER" impression, calling out orders, pumping his chest......but it was only for show. The doctor's eyes locked onto mine and I just shook my head. We closed the Trauma Room 1 doors and unhooked all of the machines. I walked over to the man's face as the doctor called the time of death. He looked peaceful and I patted him on the shoulder as if to say good luck....his time here was over.....I wondered where he was now?

I followed the doctor out of the room and turned left....he turned right. I walked down the hallway and waited for the screams.....it didn't take long. They were long and soulful....almost primal. I glanced over my shoulder to see the 12 year old boy holding his mom just like his father probably would...it's funny how instinct takes over during tragedy. The doors swung open and I walked out into the morning air......

We have no way of knowing what is going to happen tomorrow or even what is going to happen five minutes from now. Have you said "I love you" to your parents? Did you hug your children? That friend who betrayed you....have you forgiven them? Have you lived today or are you coasting? Does your spouse know how you feel? That dream of yours...has it been accomplished? Have you and God gotten together and made things right?

Don't wait....do it now....not tomorrow....not next week....now.

Breathe in.......Breathe out.......Breathe in........Breathe out........

You are alive.

Today....right now...

You are alive.

Where did the Hate go?

2006-09-21T06:09:00.000-07:00

I had a fascinating discussion last night with the Sr. High youth group about the idea of forgiveness. Through the different ideas we came across this question: "What happens to hate when we get to heaven?"

Think about that for a moment. It is a question that I had never thought about and it is a great topic for discussion. The immediate answer is "there is no hate in heaven" and that very well may be true but I am going to give you a scenario that may challenge that notion.

Let's say that someone kills your spouse, child, relative...a loved one. It is a violent death and the anger that wells up inside of you is overwhelming: you hate the person that committed this crime. It is a hard crime to get by and you find it impossible to ever forgive this person for what they did to your family member....it just is not going to happen. I, as a member of the religious community, comes to your house and leads you in discussions that are supposed to direct you in the direction of forgiveness....and they don't work. The words "I forgive you" will never be uttered from your mouth to the horrible criminal that murdered a member of your family.

That does not mean that the criminal who you "hate" so much will not be forgiven. We often forget that God supersedes all of us and He very much wants to forgive the mistakes that we make. If the criminal turns his life over to God and then asks for the forgiveness of his sins.....guess what.....he is forgiven. Which means that when you walk through the pearly gates of heaven there is a good chance that the very person you "hate", the very person who caused you such grief and heartache, will be standing there with you.

So let's ask the question again. "What happens to hate when we get to heaven?" There you are standing in glowing white light of heaven and staring back at you is the very person who you vowed would never receive your forgiveness........where is your hate now?

Now this is very much a philosophical question and I don't pretend to have the correct answer, but one of my youth (who will remain nameless for privacy) gave a pretty good statement on this issue. She started out by saying that to her hate is something that each of us posses in our hearts. It is a personal feeling that defines who we are. I may hate one thing and you may hate something else...which then dictates how we live our life and who we interact with. I had never thought of "hate" in this manner, but it makes sense to me. Many of the things that we all do in our life does indeed come from the fact that we either like or dislike something. Think about that for a second...."hate" literally shapes all that we do and say. Crazy.

This insightful teenager then said that since "hate" is a possession and that the Bible states that we essentially lose our possessions when we get to heaven.....it is conceivable that we actually lose the idea of "hate" once we walk through those gates.

I know...it boggles the mind...but it makes sense.

So there you stand staring at the person who caused you such pain in your earthly life and all you feel is.......Love?

What a surreal and unbelievable situation that would be....and to add more to the confusion....your loved one who was murdered....is standing there also. Whoa!! It makes you realize that many times we do not have a firm grasp on how God's love works. We tend to put our own belief systems into the mind of God, when in reality we should be allowing God's beliefs to enter into ours.

If you still want proof of the idea that God will forgive on an unbiased scale all you have to do is listen to the words of Jesus as he hung on the cross:

"Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." Luke 23: 34

He said this to the very people who were trying to kill him on that fateful but glorious day. I am very certain that when those people walked through the gates of heaven, Jesus was standing there with his arms open wide.

Hate is a strong word and one that does tend to dictate how we live our daily lives. If we are going to lose hate when we get to heaven, maybe we should try and learn to live without it while we are living here on earth.

Just a thought.

From your inspired worker....

2006-09-20T09:00:00.000-07:00

Dear God,

Today the world looks a little sad and it seems in the need of a pick me up. I was driving into work today (sorry I was late...won't happen again) and there was this man standing on the side of the road and I drove right by...he looked like he might be in the need of help...I am sure that the person behind me stopped. I ran into the coffee shop and saw a man drop his food on the floor and stepped over him on my way to get my needed caffeine....whew....that coffee tasted good. I got in the truck and hurried over to the office so I could begin my day.....stupid person in front of me was going too slow so I let him have a taste of my horn.....he responded with telling me that I was number one in his book.....which is funny because it turns out he was number one in my book as well.....who knew!!

Pulled into the parking lot and saw a squirrel sitting in my spot...I sped up in order to scare him. The sun looked good this morning...nice job on that...sorry about the napkins I threw on the ground...I'll pick them up on my way home. Have you noticed all of the garbage that is piling up in this town....people just won't use a trash can....ooops...there goes another napkin....I'll get that tomorrow.

So like I was saying the world just seems a little sad today......any ideas on why? Just wondering.

Sincerely,
Your inspired worker....

Dear Inspired worker,

I FORGIVE YOU.

With much Love,

God

PS: Don't forget to pick up the napkins on the way home....and the squirrel says hi....he thinks that you are number one in his book as well....who knew?

When life gets tough......quit.

2006-09-15T09:14:00.000-07:00

Have you ever been driving down the highway and had the thought:

"What if I just kept on driving?"

I had that thought the other morning and for the first time in my life it actually sounded like a good idea. Of course I would have to go pick up Joei, go get the dog and put her in a kennel, get gas, send off a couple hundred emails telling everyone that I would be gone, grab cash, plan for my hotel stops along the way, and of course get someone to mow the grass.... but boy I would love to just keep driving.

What if I disregarded all of those "important things" and just picked up my wife and left. Gone. Didn't turn around, didn't say goodbye, didn't put in my two weeks notice......and just left. The initial reaction is that life would be much easier. We wouldn't have all of life's daily stressors and we could just live simply and without angst. Maybe we would end up in Alaska and I could be a bush pilot while Joei could work at a local bank. We would live in a modest cabin and enjoy our evenings outdoors looking at the mountains.....it sounds nice doesn't it? Solitude and silence would become our friends and life would slow down for a little while. I would be happy.

Or would I?

There is a two fold problem with all of this dreaming. The first question is why would I keep on driving? Do I feel as if I have accomplished all that I have been put on this earth to do and therefore I have the desire to relax and bast in the ideal of a job well-done?.......or........Am I running scared and trying to escape and leave behind the pressure and sorrow that life sometimes can become?

I hate to say it.....but I would be escaping......

It is a natural human desire to want to take the easy way out. When life gets tough.....quit. Just quit. Rather than come out fighting.....just take a seat, take your punches and go home. That might be the easy way but is that the right way? Look around and see those who are moving through life with you. The person who is bound to a wheelchair and yet is determined to get through each day with their head held high. The mother who has lost her husband and is raising five kids on her own and does it with a smile. The child who has gone through a divorce and spends their holidays on an airplane travelling to see their mom or dad. The person who is reading this blog and wants nothing more than life to get a little better.....just a little....and yet will get up from their computer and head out into the world hiding the pain that lies secretly inside of them.

We all want to just keep driving at some point in our lives, but no matter how far you drive....Life is still there....your permanent backseat driver.

Just quit?

No....

JUST LIVE.

I park next to dead people

2006-09-13T22:56:00.000-07:00

Every morning I park about 20 ft away from a dead person. I don't mind parking next to dead people, in fact I love my parking spot! It's just that I park next to dead people....dead people....they are dead....therefore they probably don't really care to much about what I do with my gas guzzling truck.

I sat in my truck this morning and realized that I have been parking 20 ft away from this memorial to an individual and I don't even know their name. Somehow this individual lived on this earth and shaped other people's lives, had dinner conversations, maybe raised children, maybe gave birth to children, went to work, changed jobs, maybe he/she was happy, maybe he/she was sad, walked to work, drove to work, got angry, maybe had a surprise birthday party, rode a horse, hated horses, took medication, loved pizza, hated pizza........this person lived.
I sat in my truck and realized that I was living right now. At that very moment I was living and that someday there might be a youth minister who parks his gas guzzling truck about 20 ft. from my engraved rock and wonders who I was. The selfish part of me says that I better get out there and become so important that everyone wants to come visit my rock. That they should be charging admission to my memorial, that my rock better have profound statements of greatness, maybe an eternal flame or two, in fact I better be so great that the very cemetary that I am buried in should be named after the great Todd Tribble!!

Whew...I better get started....

We live in this world that seems to tell everyone that if your name isn't in lights then you are no good. We live in a world that tells teenagers that they better be #1 all of the time, every time. We live in a world that if I am not making a lot of money......I am lower than my counterpart who does. You know what? That is complete and utter BS. I really mean that. Every day I encounter people who are great parents, hard workers, providers, believers. I work with teenagers who have conviction, heart, pride and a sense of good. Are they not worth as much since a TV show hasn't decided to play out their life on a reality series? Are the hard working parents lower in society since they sacrifice money for the well being of their children? Is the college student who studies to better herself less of an individual than the pop princess who is a one hit wonder? Is the teenager who struggles each day to just make it to the next less of a person than the young adult who is given a silver spoon from birth? Is the person who is buried in a cemetary in Florence, KY any less of an individual then that of a supposedly great person that needs an armed guard at their grave?

We are all created equal in God's eyes.....and therefore the answer to that question is....no.

I park next to a dead person. His name is Ezra Aylor and he died in 1929.

Thank you Ezra....

Digging Out

2006-09-13T22:54:00.000-07:00

I wrote this piece 4 weeks after the passing of my daughter...I thought it might be poignant today since many people are dealing with the tragedy of Sept. 11th. It has been over a year since I wrote this and now when I look at it....I smile. God was working hard in me and you can see the transformation happening. To any of you who are moving on, moving forward or would like to move on....may this piece give you some hope and insight.

Digging Out

I am tired. Really tired. Four weeks. Four weeks of change. I can feel the difference. I feel clean. God is working hard and I am is project. I used to love God, rever Him actually. Jesus was my friend. I knew all the songs, knew many scriptures, looked forward to Sunday morning. I had a mentor. I learned a lot from him..even went to work for him. Should have been working for Him. You know....God. My mentor failed me...hurt me...not physically....mentally. So I left. Chased my dream. Caught my dream. Realized that when a dream becomes reality...the dream dies. I love my reality. Forgot that I live in my reality due to my Father. Never truly thanked Him. My past haunts me. Refused to deal with the past. Read the paper on Sunday mornings. Drank coffee on Sunday mornings. Watched Sportscenter on Sunday mornings. I used to eat bread and drink wine on Sunday mornings. Forgot to go Home on Sunday mornings. My Father tried to call me. I never answered the phone. My Father tried to see me. I never opened the door. My Father had to take my daughter Home and my blindfold finally slipped off. I looked up and saw garbage. Tons of garbage. I dig now. Each day I dig. So much waste. So heavy. I see a faint light...way up at the top. He waits. I pray. I want to go back to kindergarten. I want to sing the songs. I want to draw the pictures. I want to believe. I didn't realize. How did I let this happen? All this trash. I need a bigger shovel. My back hurts. It feels wonderful. My daughter...she is gone. Or is she? Can I see her? If I remove this trash..then maybe. The light gets brighter...He is smiling...He knows my plight. I dig. It is time. Time to change. Time for humility. Time for love. I pray and He responds...like He used to. He was always there..I know that. I look over my shoulder and He is gone...where did He go? I look forward...He is not there...where? There is a tug....a pull from down below. I look and I smile. It is her..my angel. She tugs..she pulls..I follow. She has a purpose...a reason. I walk...I admire...she is strong. She knows the way..she has been here before. The light. It is glowing. She stops. I look and smile. He is here. He has always been here...I just forgot the directions. I didn't know where to find them. They were somewhere inside..buried almost. My daughter was smart...she knew where to look. She was sitting on them....deep inside my heart.

Here we go

2006-09-13T22:53:00.000-07:00

"Here we go..."
When I was flying for Comair I used to say that before I would ease the plane down through the clouds onto the runway below. It was always very surreal to know that even though I couldn't see the runway....if I just followed the information that was being given to me by the airplanes computer systems I would be fine. There were times where I didn't see the runway until right before we landed, there were times when strong winds or heavy rain would be beating on the airplane and I would trust that when I broke out of the clouds...the runway would be there. I remember one time when we had an older gentleman in the back of the airplane who was having a heart attack and we were told by the doctor on board that if we didn't land the plane this man would die. There was an airport that we could land at nearby but it was in the middle of a blinding rain storm....we decided that we had to at least try and get into the airport so that this man might live. We set the airplane up for the approach, there was lightning, wind, rain and when you looked out of the cockpit windows all you saw was the deepest black. We were cleared for the approach and I eased the plane forward and let out a semi-confident "Here we go"...and we began our descent. We passed through 2,000 ft.....1500 ft.....1000 ft.....500ft.....200ft.....100ft.....and then there it was.....this beautiful blinking light that pointed us directly to the runway. With a gentle bump we set the plane down on the asphalt and within 5 minutes the older man was whisked away to the hospital...where he later recovered.
How many of you have felt like me in that airplane? There is this goal that is out there....you know it's there. The only problem is that there seems to be all of this "junk" sitting between you and where you want to be. This is where the idea of Faith comes into play. Whenever I made my descents in the airplane I had faith that when the airplane broke out of the clouds the runway would be there. I couldn't see it yet I knew that it was there.
Our relationship with God is very similar.....we are all "airplanes" making our way through life and many times we feel this tug to go in a certain direction but when we look at where we are supposed to go all we see is "the darkest black". We then put our eyes to the heavens and ask God, "You want me to do what!! I'm not going that direction!! Are you crazy!!".
Then with a gentle push God descends us through the darkness. It is a scary ride, there is turbulence, heartache, pain, tears...and little light.....but have faith my friends....because just when you think that you can't go any farther...the safety of the runway appears and with a gentle bump you reach your goal and life continues.
Don't be afraid of the unknown...for God goes with you...even the darkest of black....on the other side is a light that shines so bright.

Take a deep breath....Here we go.....

From Bad to Good

2006-09-13T22:51:00.000-07:00

Choices. Everyday I make choices...Starting when I get up in the morning until I go to bed at night.....choices. Should I shower, shave, eat breakfast, what should I eat for breakfast, I like donuts, should I eat donuts, coffee, grande or venti, go fast, go slow, listen to music on the radio, put in a cd, what cd should I listen to.....you get the picture.
There are other choices that are life changing. Who do I marry? What college should I go to? Should I go to college or into the armed forces? Should I do drugs? Should I have sex? Should I take that job? Should I leave this job? Should I make myself throw up to lose weight? Should I starve myself? Should I go to church? Do I believe in God? Am I living a good life? Once again.......you get the picture.
I posed this question in our youth forum and I will state it again here:
"People always say that there are detours in life and that through God one can get back on the path He intended. I would pose this question: What if the detours of life are actually the path that we are supposed to be on?"
We are constantly taking "detours" in our lives but those detours are actually what shapes us into the outstanding human beings that we become. I have this friend who spent many years in the deep darkness of drug use and just recently has come out of that horrible trip to enter college. When you ask him what he wants to do with his life he states that he wants to get into psychology. That is what I mean. Many people would look at his past and shake their heads in a disapproving manner. Why do we spend so much time on the past!! What is this young man doing right now is what I want to know. His "detour" will most likely end up helping many people overcome the very addictions that he was possessed by. Maybe there is a young man or woman who is going to need his help in the future and without the "detour" taken by my friend they would never get it. That wrong path is going to save a life.
Now please don't walk away from this and say that Todd has given me permission to take drugs, drink massive amounts of alchohol and sleep with everyone around! What I want you to realize is that each of us has taken detours that have led us to places of despair and sadness.....the key to all of this is to not stay in that place. Move! Keep moving! Look for the opportunities that God is providing for you and take advantage of them....grab someone and tell them that the path that they are about to go down is not worth it....call a friend and take them to that first AA meeting....hug that person who just seems to get knocked down all of the time and tell them that it will be okay.......

Let your detours.....become your paths....

Walking in the Darkness

2006-09-13T22:50:00.000-07:00

A plane crashed in Lexington, KY on Sunday morning and the airline was the one that I used to fly for. I have flown into that airport many times and have actually flown the specific airplane that crashed. It is very surreal when you can see in your mind exactly what happened before someone dies. I can tell you in vivid detail what each pilot was doing, why they were doing it and I can even tell you why they made the mistake that they seem to have made. There was one survivor and he was the First Officer...his life is forever changed.
In one instant your life can change...poof! One minute you are going one direction and then all of sudden you are violently shoved into another. This pilot will forever have on his mind that he was responsible for the lives of 50 people and on that morning it looks as if he might have failed. That is a heavy weight to carry and one that seems almost insurmountable. When faced with such huge odds it is very common to cry out to God "Why me!". We have all done that at somepoint...if you haven't you will. There are so many circumstances that bring us to that point: Death, addiction, illness, job loss, divorce (for the kids and parents), anorexia, bulimia, drugs....just to name a few. It is at that dark moment when it seems as if you are all alone and that you have been completely abandoned. It seems as if God has left the building and you are stuck in this dark room with no way of escaping. You are alone.
But are you? I challenge that notion that you are alone because it just doesn't make any sense. Why in the world would God leave us at our darkest moment? He gains nothing by doing that. All that walking away would accomplish is the potential loss of one of His children....and He loves us to much to do that. So where is God when the dark moments of life envelop us? Look around and see who enters the darkness with you.
God is the drug counselor, doctor, therapist, loving parents, pastors, youth directors, friends that appear out of nowhere, books, that song that makes you think a little differently about life, the video that causes you to pause....He is everywhere. Look back at your dark moments and I guarantee that you will notice that there seemed to be an increase in the amount of people that seemed to have wanted to help you.....that is not coincidence.....that is God coming to save the day.
The First Officer on that plane was pulled out of the wreckage by a police officer.....can you find God in this picture?
God is always present...don't look for a large man with a white robe and long white beard...all you have to do is look around at all of the people in your life....He is there....walking through life with you.

"Life is Waiting to Begin"

2006-09-13T22:47:00.000-07:00

Many of you know that Joei and I lost our daughter last year when she was born stillborn. Many of you also know that the day she died was the turning point in my life (and Joei's). My eyes opened and God rushed in. I love music and have searched for a song that describes what that day was like for Joei and myself. Well, I have found it. It is by Angels and Airwaves (former bandmate of Blink 182 is a part of it).

It is called The Adventure and that is what all of us are on: an Adventure. We don't know what tomorrow is going to bring....we never will. The only thing we can do is wake up, rub our eyes, stretch our legs and face the day with a fierce determination which can only be matched by that of our Father. NEVER GIVE UP....EVER! Each day is different, each day is a gift and should be treated as such. Yesterday may have been bad but today is new...GET OUT THERE and LIVE! I live every day with the sole purpose that I am living my life as well as the one my daughter wasn't able to be a part of. She is my companion and when I go to bed each night I pray that I did my best...and if I didn't...well I will try again tomorrow. Because tomorrow is another beginning. What an adventure we have been given....thank you God.

The Adventure

I want to have the same last dream again. The one where I wake up and I'm alive.

Just as the four walls close me within. My eyes are opened up with pure sun light. I'm the first to knowMy dearest friendsEven if your hope has burned with timeAnything that's dead shall be re-grownAnd your vicious pain, your warning sign, you will be fine.Hey ohhh, here I amAnd here we go, lifes waiting to beginAny type of love it will be shownLike every single tree reached for the skyif your gonna fall Ill let you know, that I will pick you up like youfor II felt this thingI can't replaceWhere everyone was working for this goal where all the children leftwithout a trace, only to come back as pure as gold to recite this all.Hey ohhh, here I amAnd here we go, lifes waiting to begin, tonightI cannot live I cant breathe unless you do this with me..Hey ohhh, here I am. Do this with me. Here we go, lifes waiting to beginLifes waiting to begin.

The Supreme Guidance Counselor...

2006-09-13T22:44:00.000-07:00

Remember when you were young how all of the adults constantly asked you, What do you want to be when you grow up? I grew to really dislike that question because I never knew the answer. After a while you come up with a canned answer that will make the adults happy. I used to fluctuate between lawyer, pilot and every now and then garbage man. I never said youth pastor, never looked an adult in the eye and said clergy. It just never occurred to me that I could be employed by God.

Imagine my surprise when I woke up one morning and found myself in a church office in Florence, KY! This was not part of the plan and as far as I can tell I never requested this job. I may never have dreamed this is what I would be doing but I tend not to argue with the supreme guidance counselor.

I do not believe that God is this entity that just throws people into different situations with no rhyme or reason. Watching how my life and those lives around me work I truly believe that God is very intentional on who and what comes into our lives. We all have the ability to impact and change someones life and it can happen in a big way or in subtle ways as well. The important thing is that we realize that God calls us everyday to be leaders in His world and we should be very intentional on how we interact and treat others.

If I had been told when I was young that I would be doing this job I would have denied it over and over. It is only through life experiences and listening to the kind advice of our Father that we are moved to the places where God needs us.

Don't fight, don't panic, don't fret, don't be scared, don't run. God is calling...have you answered Him yet?

Perfection is overrated...

2006-09-13T22:41:00.000-07:00

I used to worry a lot about whether or not I was living up to everyone's expectations. It is such an easy trap to fall into and once you're in, it is hard to get out. For me it started back in high school when I constantly strived to get the approval of my friends, teachers, parents..basically everyone that I came in contact with. I always wanted that pat on the back or that encouraging word. I could have an entire week of successes but if one person didn't acknowledge that I had done something right or told me that I had done something wrong....the week was ruined.
There is a misconception in this world that one must be perfect. I see it all the time in the way parents maneuver their children in and out of the various activities. Every parent wants their child to be "the one" and many will go to great lengths to have that happen. How many of you out there have felt that pressure? The pressure to be good all the time, to be right all the time, to not make a mistake? How many of you have been fearful of a parent's reaction to a misstep, to a friend's view of your new thought process, to a boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse's reaction to a desire for a new direction? How many times has that fear paralyzed you in to doing nothing? Rather than face the sound of criticism you opted for the safe route of just "playing along".
In my old age of 32 I am slowly coming to the realization that the idea of "playing along" doesn't work any more. I don't want to sit back and let other people decide what is right for me, I have no desire to let other people's ideas dictate where and what I do with my life. The biggest lesson I have learned? I AM NOT PERFECT. Not even close. People may want me to be perfect but all I can do is look at them, shrug my shoulders and say "sorry..not gonna happen". It is impossible to be perfect so why even try. I will work hard and strive for success in the eyes of God and no one else.

Perfection is overrated....don't try to do what you will never achieve.

Work hard, play hard and thank God for what you have each day....life is easy when you break it down to the essentials.